Did you know that on the Hills Lauren and Audrina did not become friends all by themselves? Audrina was actually auditioned to be one of the first of Lauren's "LA friends" after being spotted at a pool and approached for the role. If only someone would audition people to be my friends, because I am not having much luck on my own.
I am now working as a waitress in a neighborhood restaurant. I absolutely love it. Some days I don't make much money (my salary is $3 an hour so I basically need tips to make showing up to work worthwhile), but its all good fun. Anyway, I figured that the other people at the restaurant were my best bet for making friends. Unfortunately all the other girls seem to have rockin' social lives, and I didn't want to make the effort to horn in on someone's life if their friend list was already full.
So, that narrowed down the pool of potential friends to one busboy. He seemed nice. My only issue was that I definitely wanted it to be clear that I am NOT available and I only want someone to hang out with. It seemed like that was taken care of, though, because pretty much everyone at the restaurant knows about my boyfriend. And then, magically I didn't even have to do anything...the busboy said that we should hang out. I was suspicious and was like "as friends right...you know I have a boyfriend," and he said "of course, just as friends."
Ha! Little did I know that he was LYING to me. Filthy Baltimore kids. Next thing I know he is talking about how cute my toes are. Ewwww! I don't even like my own feet, so if some complete stranger (yes, he has been relegated in my head from coworker to stranger) is going on about my "hot feet" I know that they are a)super high, and b)trying to get in my pants.
And the horribleness continues. If Josh reads this he is going to freak the fuck out because I didn't tell him this yet. But seriously dear, I didn't want to make you upset, so I left this bit out. Anyway, next the busboy calls to let me know that I should dump my boyfriend because he could treat me so much better. I was like "bitch! You don't know my life!" But I didn't say it of course, because I never say what I think in weird situations. I need to be more like my little sister.
AND, even though I am made it clear that I was happy with my boyfriend and that I wouldn't be considering this kid even if I wasn't with my boyfriend, he won't stop! He pokes my stomach at work constantly. Seriously? Seriously?! That doesn't make me feel cute or flattered, it makes me feel gross like the Pillsbury dough boy.
Argh. Once again. Why is it always the weird ones???? I'm not that weird! How come weird people decide to get all up in my life?! I hate it.
Ew. And I hate that I am being mean and bitchy too. This poor kid probably doesn't deserve all the animosity I have towards him. It is just an inevitable consequence that occurs when people don't step off when I have given them ample opportunity to do so.
Hmph. Maybe the kitchen staff kid who tried to sell me pot will be my next friend target. Then again. Maybe not.
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