Excerpts

My sister: "I would like a blow torch."
My mother: "I could guess that."

"Them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur..."
-My sister, at Hampton Mansion

"Your nose is so red, mom!"
-Me
"Well, your whole face is red."
-My mother

"If I tell you now what I think you are insecure about, then I won't be able to use it as ammunition later when I am mad at you."
-Aaron

"Woof!"
-My grandmother taking a family picture and attempting to get our attention.

A short, egocentric tantrum

I think it is pretty clear that I will never find a place to fit in. Am I being emo? Yes. But that doesn't mean what I'm saying isn't true.

It's hard for me to get to know people because I'm shy. I don't have a magnetic personality like so many other girls I know. I'm not charming when you first meet me...or really at all. I'm nice, but in a boring way.

And even if someone puts in the prolonged effort required to get to know me, it doesn't mean that they will like what they find. My relatives are unhappy because I am much too liberal for their taste, and my grandmother in particular worries that my interest in the "anti-Christian" organization that is the ACLU will send me down a path to *gasp* something bad....heathenism, atheism, hell, or sin in general.

In a similar vein, I don't think I will ever fit in with people at a church. Even the Mennonites are too socially conservative, too boring, and too...pious...??? Is that bad to say? I mean, its hard to feel like you belong to a group who would aneurysm if they knew that you were a fan of tequila shots with salt and lime.

On the other hand, the friends that I am closest with, that fill all the holes left by my family, etc, they don't really get all the parts of my life. Some of them can't understand why I am weirded out by their belief that chemicals and pheromones completely define our personalities, choices and lives. Others oscillate between suspicion that I am secretly trying to convert them, and willfully misunderstanding what me and people like me do believe.

The only person I have ever met that is at all similar to me with regard to politics versus religion is Will. And he is gay.

Argh, I am so unimpressed. With a lot of things. Especially myself. Embarrassing.

Eves Are Cozy

Lynchburg, VA. Yeehaw! ....Amen is actually more like it.

You know that you are far far away from Seattle when everything is called Liberty. Falwell's Liberty University, Liberty High, Liberty Middle and Elementary School and Liberty Bitty Bulldog's Cheer Squad, which my little cousin is a member of.

The Christmas Eve service at my aunt and uncle's church opened with, "So who went to WalMart today?" The scary part was that more than half of the congregation raised their hands. Other than that, a good time was had by all. Particularly by my grandmother who is a fan of belting out carols in the highest key possible. All these prissy lacrosse mom types were turning around and looking to see where all the noise was coming from. And then they caught an eyeful of me glaring at them, unwashed in my mom's 60's down puffer vest and hat and they turned back around. Yes, I am a G.

Don't worry, I will shower tomorrow before anyone captures me on film.

Interesting factoids from the Christmas Eve dinner table:

If you put a steak in a bowl of Coke it will disappear by the morning.
-My sister...perhaps this is not actually true, but she swears by the YouTube video she saw.

If you put a snake in a bowl of Coke it will disappear by the morning!
-My grandmother mishearing and repeating what my sister said. Though I don't doubt that any Coke-sodden snake would be gone by morning.

If domesticated pigs end up back in the wild, they will grow hair and tusks and become extreme beasts a la Lord of the Flies.
-I disputed the truth of my dad's claim here, but he shut me down by hooking up the "internets" and "putting me on the line".

There is a place in Michigan where a bunch of farm pigs got lose in the bush, and now for a huge fee you can go there and shoot one.
-Dad/internet.

If you are standing on the magnetic North Pole holding a compass, contrary to popular belief (among the little cousins), it will not point down.
-My nuclear something (physicist?) uncle.


Happy happy Christmas, y'all!








"Do you ever go to thrift stores? Well if you find a bathing suit in a size 22, then you should buy it and send it to me."
-My grandmother's crazy friend, Dolores, requesting some swimwear from my mother when they spoke at church.

Bittersweet

I feel like hell.


And I have nothing intelligent to say, as per usual.


There is nothing worse than feeling hurt and tremblingly sad and then also feeling guilty like you deserve what you got. Pitiful. And I am fairly sure that I have been forgotten already. And even if I haven't, then it doesn't matter anyway because having no contact whatsoever is almost as good as being forgotten.

Fuck. How do I get myself into these messes? I just eliminated from my life the one person who I have wanted to be close with since birth.

I am so very sad. In protest of the extremely trying life that I lead I am refusing to shower for church tomorrow.

Let's play Thanksgiving roundtable:

I might hate life at this particular moment, but I am thankful for.....
friends (particularly Chloe, the one who I call emo, and the one called Emi, the one who likes Big Bear)
ramikazes
Bridget Jones
my sister
my parents (though not their absence)
the phrase "blood is thicker than water"
Pride and Prejudice
Collin Firth
Jennifer Ehle
flavored coffee creamer (ahoy, fake lattes!)
clam chowder
eggs
my Sedu
my unicorn band-aids (double size for xtra large wounds!)
my Cinderella chapstick (I would like the Ariel one the best, but it is unfortunately green instead of pink)
my ragdoll kitty and the 16-pounder that sleeps on my bed
Bo
people at work who are nice
the table tonight who wrote me a note on their receipt
public television
convertible mittens
the 80's
Disney princess ziplocs (what a find!)
Twilight
The Annotated Alice
the fact that I am really really good-looking
Barack
Nachos
Old Bay wings
Sketchy business practices
Mebos
My persuasively vivid imagination that I can use to convince myself that I am not irrevocably depressed.


"You're gonna be the death of me. I don't want you, but I need you. I love you and I hate you at the very same time."
-Kanye, et al

Firsts

I just got dumped for the first time.

MLC

My dog is fairly smart. Not on par with the golden retriever that my family used to have, but pretty intelligent for a dog. When i put on my running shoes or whip out my iPod, he knows that either he is about to get a walk or I am going to go exercise. And since its way too cold to exercise these days (aka, I am way too lazy to do it), he can be fairly positive he is going out.

And then he does this adorable thing where he waits in another room while I get ready and sits rigidly while peaking at me out of the corner of his eye. He will purposely face another direction so that only one of his eyes can see me. Odd, that one. But incredibly adorable.

My life has really hit a rut, though. You can tell because I am writing about animals in my blog. I never thought I would be that person who had nothing to write about except her pets. Well, there it is.

I suppose I could also say how I spilled coffee in the middle of my bed earlier tonight. Why these crises always happen to me I will never know.

Also, I am really feeling the effects of the recent demise of our bootleg cable.



"lose ur remote a lot.....put that shit on a leash and attach it to the end of yo couch"
-facebook group post

Precision and Perfection

Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightly, Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightly......a question for the ages. Mr. Darcy is the favorite among most, but I think that is because more people have read Pride and Prejudice than Emma. I think that if you look at the two characters objectively, you'll find that Mr. Knightly is actually more likable. But then again, part of Mr. Darcy's charm is the thrill of discovering the perfect man under all of his pompousness and social pretenses.

I'm watching Pride and Prejudice now, and for the very first time I am finding myself annoyed with Elizabeth. How can that be? She's always been my favorite. Maybe I am just too sleepy for her right now.

I will grow up for a second and force myself to turn off the television and put myself to bed.

Trite Bullshit...

is what this blog is full of.

More from last night:
I had a stalker table a couple of days ago. It was a guy (oldish, but younger than my parents) and his dad who shamelessly hit on me all night. The talked like Vegas hot shots minus the suits and the money and grabbed my hand throughout the night. Well, the came to the restaurant last night and requested me as their waitress. It was awful lots of really bad jokes that I was forced to laugh at (me saying "tell me when to stop" as I ground pepper on their salads and the guy saying "oh, I would never want you to stop, baby"). They winked at me incessantly and the dad even kissed me on the cheek. I can't tell if the dad wanted me to come home with them so that his son could have me or so that they could both get in on the action. I had to tell them that I had a boyfriend and that I didn't want any "side action" 5 times during the course of the night. Ridiculous.

I really should look into getting that mace I was thinking about.

And now I have a day of alone-ness since the parents went to Cabo for the week and I have off from work. I feel like a small child who has been played with and spoiled and is now being ignored. I will remedy these negative feelings the best way I can think of: eating my chocolate cheesecake and watching Pride and Prejudice. Law school applications? What law school applications?


Oh, and David Blaine is my new drug of choice.

"David Blaine.....make it rain."
-Lupe, I think
"The best trick ever was making the world believe that magic doesn't exist."

Never Let Your Sister Listen To T.I.

Right now I am absurdly embarrassed to have been born in Illinois. There are no words. But hey, every state goes through a rough patch after losing a gem like Obama, right? Right???

My head was so corrupted with all the bribery news that I had to watch back-to-back House episodes tonight. I had to drop my Seventh Heaven addiction after they served up an episode filled with political misinformation under the guise of a heartwarming Save Darfur theme. Gag me. I would boycott the Hallmark Channel altogether if my mom and sister and I hadn't gotten so involved in that Love Comes Softly series of movies with Katherine Heigl.

And along the lines of my Baltimore=too hardcore for me exposé. I am pretty sure that Baltimore=too hardcore for my sister too. She is fast on her way to demonstrating the quickest way to get shot in Baltimore. Which would be singing her new favorite song parody, "I can do whatever, I'm white," in the halls of her school. Oh, that one has grown up to be quite a doll.

Kansas looks a little different these days...

I don't think Baltimore will ever really feel like home. Not that my family hasn't tried hard to make it my home too. My house here feels kind of like home. But the city itself isn't really me. Or rather, I'm not quite hardcore enough for Baltimore.

Case in point:
On Halloween all the guys at the restaurant were going crazy because there was a rumor going around that the bloods were going to murder more than 30 women that night. The police said that it was just an urban legend, but the gang initiation ritual is very real. Guys must either murder or slash the faces of a certain number of women in order to become a member of the bloods. The fact that the Baltimore PD issued a statement that the rumors are false is bullshit. Maybe that is their strategy for relaxing the masses, but you only have to go to Google to find out that there are hundreds of people out there who have been victims of Halloween slashings, who know of victims, or who are gang members themselves and confirm the truth of the Halloween massacre initiation. The police should make people aware of the possibility of violence and not just pretend it doesn't exist.

I like to think that nothing bad will happen in the six block radius that is my bourgeois bubble. But this isn't Cape Town where the good neighborhoods are better insulated from crime by armed guards and distance. Baltimore is more urban sprawl than township vs. suburb and people are too unwilling to stoop to precautions like guards and barred windows.

It doesn't help that I refuse to be smart about my safety. Maybe I should at least get myself some mace.

Second case in point:
I walk into the restaurant today and the line-up that usually consists of the manager describing the night's specials started with a "please don't come to work intoxicated". And a "please don't bring your drugs to work". Whoops. Someone fucked up. Apparently the manager found little condiment cups of weed at the front desk and a bag of it downstairs. Someone is a dip shit. Why would you not just carry it on your person if you insist on bringing it to work? Its not like anyone is going to pat you down or anything, especially since I'm pretty sure that the weed that was confiscated was just added to our fearless leader's personal stash. He said that it wasn't that high quality though.

Entertaining, yes, but I am definitely not a Baltimorean 4 Life or anything of that bumper sticker nature. Seattle will always remain my heel-clicking destination.

Violently Pink

Another post for today since I have been shunning this blog for a few weeks...

My nails are the hottest hot pink ever right now. It's very Zenon. I recommend it. It gets me even better tips at work. And, no...get your mind out of the gutter, I don't work in THAT kind of service industry.

So cryptically, here's what is new (ish): I am in a situation that I want to get out of but I don't know how. Meanwhile I am being exactly the kind of person that you see in movies and think "how dumb is she?! Get over yourself and do what you need to do." That's right. I have become Cher from Clueless. I can just hear "We're the kids in America" playing in the background. Actually, I will give myself a huge break and say that I'm Emma instead. Much much better and yet still accurate.

And for my rants of the month:
Did you hear that Bush's new neighborhood didn't allow minorities to live there until 2000? He's got to be either really ignorant to not know that or really asinine to not care.

Also, does Ali Larter bug anybody else, or is it just me?


"I'd rather be horrified than bored."
-Turning Tables

All in the Family

So, one of my cousins is actually pretty big in South Africa. Tee hee. That sounds funny, doesn't it? But its more than partially true. He and his (old?) hip hop group, Entity, have a few music videos out and they got a lot of play on MTV South Africa. And the rest of their songs are good too.

I decided its about time that I started repping him. Check him out on facebook...his name is Kiernan Forbes or AKA.

Here's the link to his last video:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3187207

Or at least I think its his last video. He's very secretive about all this music stuff, so I have to find it out myself through his dad or through Google.

Hair and Hypochondria

My mother is a very reasonable person, but she is also odd to the point of bordering on hilarity sometimes.

Today she took my little sister for a haircut. And not only did she drag herself out of bed in the middle of being sick to do it, she also went up and washed her hair before braving icy outdoors. Her hair wasn't dirty or messy or anything, but she maintains that if the mother doesn't have absolutely perfect hair when taking her daughter in for a haircut then the stylist might think that he or she can do a half-assed job.

Too bad the woman who cut my sister's hair did a bad job anyway and my sister came home in tears, yelling at my mom for taking her to a cheap place and not being willing to shell out enough for her hair. I can understand where my sister is coming from, having been to my share of "let's do an 80's rocker fro with your curls" psycho stylists, but I can't help but wonder how many times I yelled at my mom after she went over and above in the attempt to make everything perfect for me and my haircut or spelling test or LSAT.

I think I am having a mid early-20's crisis. I feel rather melancholy.



And, even worse, my hypochondria is getting seriously out of control. Its really not hypochondria because I don't think that I actually make myself ill. But I certainly make myself think that I am sick. And not just sick...usually I am almost positive that I have contracted a terminal illness. Doesn't take a genius to guess what event this particular psychosis originated from. I have been to two different doctors in the past two weeks, and am constantly online researching my maladies. Where is Lynn when you need her? Plus today I decided that I needed some extensive blood work and now my arm is partially blue and in pain from that phlebotomist. This is it. No more witch hunts for fatal diagnoses.




"I'm looking fine in my navy blue scrubs today. C'mon people! Who wants a taste?"
-Zach Braff

I need to leave Baltimore

I almost quit my job last night. I came the closest I've ever come to just walking out and giving everyone at that stupid restaurant an aneurysm by actually swearing at them all. Gasp! I find it so ridiculous that they all are so shocked every time they hear me say something remotely resembling a swear word. Yes, I'm not exactly the wash your mouth out type, but I'm not above cussing to make a point. And I'm certainly not the bland saint that everyone at the restaurant seems to think I am.

Whatever. The point is that my unfeeling manager made me come to work even though I was ridiculously sick. To be fair, I rallied myself to the point where I don't think the customers noticed that I was a walking sack of germs and snot. But really. Everyone there is ridiculous. I literally almost passed out when I had to carry a giant tub of pickles of from the basement. Thankfully one of the guys in the kitchen noticed me struggling and helped me on the way back down. Everyone else there can go fuck themselves though. They're high off their asses if they think that I will ever cover their shifts for them when they're sick because nobody helped me out. Except one girl...she helped with my chores a little bit. But for the most part I am generally unimpressed. It will be sweet revenge if I got everyone else at the restaurant sick.

Fuck the restaurant. And fuck the east coast.

Good Will Hunting Epiphany

I am watching Good Will Hunting for the first time right now. And I have finally found something that actually portrays how I feel. There is a scene where Will and Skyla get into a fight. She asks him to go to California with her and they start fighting. One thing leads to another and he pushes her up against a wall and punches right next to her head. She cries and takes his head in her hands and says that she just wants to be with him. That she'll leave forever if he just looks her in the eye and tells her he doesn't love her. And so he does. And he walks out.

He's being horrible. But the whole time you are sitting there watching him treat Skyla oh so horribly you are actually thinking that they should be together and you are hoping that they kiss and make up eventually. And you've seen just how bad Will can be. But you love him (platonically...as the viewer) anyway. And you know that he didn't really mean to hurt her and that he does actually love her (well, I think...I haven't gotten to the end of the movie quite yet).

When you think about it like that. Everything that I have done makes perfect sense. And most people I know would do the exact same thing. I wish people would watch that part. Just so they can understand me and not judge me.

Not that anyone I have ever met is a genius on the level of Matt Damon's character. I don't know if I would be able to handle that anyway.

Prude

Sometimes I feel lonelier at work when I am surrounded by tons and tons of people than I feel at home by myself. Because its always better to be sad because you have nobody to talk to in an empty room than to be sad that you have nobody to talk to when you are standing around with 8 other waiters.

Its not that I am an outcast at work or anything. Plenty of people talk to me and like me and everything. I just get left behind in conversations easily. I'm not a merciless flirt like some of the people at the restaurant which is one huge reason that I am always on the outskirts of the socializing. But I am also just quiet sometimes. However, the main problem is that everyone has this idea of what kind of person I am, and its just not me.

They all think that I am so innocent and naive. And I don't care what you say, being called naive is not a compliment. My friends have tried to convince me of this during many conversations with me bitching about being called naive again. But being called naive is ALWAYS bad. Little sisters are naive, not friends, and not even less-than-friends. Just because I am a nice person and a loyal girlfriend and I don't constantly talk about my escapades in bed, it doesn't mean that I am socially ignorant or unable to understand sexual innuendo.

Tonight the head waiter was talking about gay sex or something or other....he's always hitting on the college-age guy waiters so I'm sure it had to do with getting into one of their pairs of black standard-issue pants. And out of nowhere he goes "Ohhh, look at Phoebe, she can't understand anything we're talking about. You know I can never picture her ever doing anything sexual." Okay, so there is no way that I would ever want him to be picturing me doing anything remotely sexual....but still. Why does everyone think that I am such a freaking prude? I don't drop my pants constantly, but I'm not 7 years old.

The only person who keeps me sane at work is Paul. And I'm not even using a code name there. But don't worry, Ed Murray won't be able to track him down and blackmail him for my identity because Paul is not his first name.

Do you ever feel like asking someone if what they are going after is what they really want and not what they have convinced themselves that they should try for? It's not quite a broachable topic.

And of course, Barack has just been elected. I already wrote to him encouraging him to consider Corey Booker for a position within his administration and recommending that he get his daughters a Bernese Mountain dog.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

I LOVE Halloween. The poor citizens of South Africa do not have Halloween. I weep for them. Not really, though, because that would make my Disney mascara run. I am being a brunette version of Alice in Wonderland. I don't do blonde.

I'm so excited that I shaved my legs for the occasion. I haven't really shaved since I have been in Baltimore. There are two reasons for this. 1) I am very cold generally so my legs are rarely bare, and 2) There is nobody to impress here (and nobody who I am concerned about judging me) and so no need for silky smooth legs. It has become very clear to my parents that the only reason I shave my legs is for other people, and they are very upset. I spent all of middle school lobbying to be allowed to shave. They had outlawed it because their feminist consciences didn't want me to bowing to the social norms of society. I insisted that I wanted to shave for myself, not just to fit in. I was lying. But with good reason. Middle school is hard to begin with, and not shaving if you're a girl makes it literally ten times harder. They let me eventually. Now they are disappointed in my weakness. Thats actually fine. I don't really care. I may not be as evolved as them when it comes to embracing feminism but at least I am ahead of them when it comes to equal acceptance of homosexuals. Not that they are not accepting. They are democrats all the way and support equal rights under the law, but they don't know how they feel about the church sanctioning homosexuality. Hmph.

Yay Halloween!

Mediocrity

October LSAT scores were released. Its incredible how one morning spent on one test can affect the rest of your life so much.

Things My Mother Yells At The TV

"Why does that guy look like a beaver?!"
to CNN

"I hope that [Virginia Republican Party Chairwoman Kate Obenshain Griffin] can't sleep at night and wets the bed."
to MSNBC

"That woman is a hot piece of flank steak next to her daughter."
MTV

"Sarah Palin wants to kill all of God's creatures."
to MSNBC

"This channel has THE WORST commercials."
to Hallmark

"Doesn't Chris Matthews have someone who can cut his hair?"
to MSNBC

"How do you like Olbermann's tie, honey?"
to MSNBC

Bored?

Google "Sealand".

Squeaky clean

Went to the dentist today and the disaster that I was anticipating was miraculously averted. There was no cavity catastrophe, and upon informing the dental hygienist that I was certain my gum recession was way out of control, she assured me that my gums are not receding hardly at all. Take that! The stratagem for avoiding flossing lectures that I learned from my mother was also a raging success. She and I always start a flossing regimen roughly two weeks before any dentist appointment so that by the time we go in, our gums appear strong and well taken care-of. It's a nearly fool proof plan for avoiding unnecessary annoyance at the dentist...because I really don't need any more reasons to not come back.

Also interesting: apparently Crest is abrasive on your tooth enamel and can lead to teeth sensitivity.



"You don't smoke mushrooms, you eat them."
-my mother, instructing my sister on the "correct" way of using shrooms

TV Dinners

Tonight has been painful. I cooked for my family. Chicken chili. Josh would laugh at me, because he says the only food I make is Mexican food. And I can't seem to help but prove him right every time I cook. Its just that the extreme yuminess of Mexican food is only equaled by the ease of cooking it.

In any case. The cooking surprisingly started out relatively chaos free with the cornbread. As chaos free as me cooking ever is...I am good at making things taste good, I just don't have as much prowess with not making a huge mess. It went downhill as soon as the onions came out though. Halfway through dicing them I realized that I had forgotten my signature onion-cutting swimming goggles, and I paid for the oversight by nearly going blind from the burning. I could hardly see through my tears and when I attempted to refocus myself with a sip of coffee. Unfortunately I grabbed the can of beans instead, and in the process of nearly slicing my lip on the can edge I knocked over my actual cup of coffee. I most sad about the flavored creamer stuff that was in the coffee that got wasted. I use over three times the recommended serving of it, so I blow through those delicious little bottles of coffee creamer. Anyway, the chili was good, but my eyes still feel sore, and my fingers have cuts on them that are still stinging from lime juice.

Oh, and the Hills. That show seriously drives me crazy. It has enough drama in one episode to fill an entire Shakespeare festival. The only thing is that the episodes are really only 20 minutes which is way too short to have to wait a week to watch it. And seriously it actually makes me angry to watch it. I see the worst traits of myself in all the girl characters. Audrina going back to Justin because she is addicted to him even though he treats her horribly. I'm not doing that at this point in my life or anything, but I definitely have that tendency in my personality. And then there's Lauren who accidentally creates drama very easily. Heidi who really just changed horribly in terms of looks and personality. Brody, who is totally a guy that I would fall for if I were Lauren. And the rest of the guys all suck. I don't know if that is a reflection on LA guys, rich guys, or guys in general. But this show really makes guys look bad. They are all manipulative assholes, and the majority of them have made girls cry on purpose and laughed at them afterwards. Why are some guys such assholes. Girls can be awful too, I know. But I feel like there are actually a lot of guys in the world who are emotionally mute enough to actually enjoy hurting girls' feelings when they are mad...or who are immature and vengeful enough to act like they enjoy it when they have broken someone down. Why is that?

Anyway, it is painfully obvious that I put waaaay too much thought into reality tv. Right now is really just a "living vicariously" point in my life, because nothing much is going on.


"You are a mystical blaze of craziness." ....if only that were true
-my sister

On the upside

If Obama is elected, which he will be, I can go to the inauguration. One of the few and far between benefits to living in Charm City.

Couldawouldashoulda

Damn it, this clingy-ness has to stop. If only I didn't like EVERYTHING that I read on the internet. It describes exactly how I feel.

Interesting fact: elephants can't jump.
Big myth: elephants are the only animals that can't jump. WRONG! The sloth cannot jump either. Not enough speed. Neither can the guinea pig...too much like a turd (yes, that was a throwback to Olive).

Kristin Gore is a rockstar.

Seriously. Someone give her a Newbery. She'll make you giggle incessantly, I promise.

Rants and Raves

Raves:

I love working on crosswords with people. It's constructive and it doesn't involve restaurant gossip and bitching which inevitably makes you feel dirty afterwards (even if you are drawn to it initially, because you like observing drama).

I love familiarity. Old family friends and people like that. People who call your parents by their first names. Those are the kinds of people who don't forget who you are, because they always expect you to pop back into their lives eventually.

I love respecting people enough to actually take it when they tell me things that I am doing wrong and what I should be doing better. Lol, there aren't actually a super lot of people who I would take constructive criticism from without throwing a tantrum in my head...the funny thing is that more than half the people that I would listen to probably don't realize how much influence they have over me.

Canvassers that I can bond with because they magically know a lot about Ed Murray (ugh) and Dave Upthegrove (Yay!).


Feeling not alone. I have always felt carsick after eating apples. I thought I was alone in the world with regard to my apple-induced nausea. Turns out not. According to google, a huge number of people out there have similar apple allergies. I love it.

Buttermilk pancakes. Interesting trick: putting bacon inside your pancakes...no, not like pigs in a blanket...actually cooking the pancake with bacon in the batter. Yum. Almost as good as pancakes with strawberries and chocolate chips. I've been eating pancakes all weekend. Serving brunch makes me crave them, so I nip that craving in the bud by loading up on pancakes before I go to work on weekend mornings.


Rants:

People who are mean and then expect you to continue to be nice to them. Argh. Grow up and learn that karma is a bitch. Stupid bartenders.

Being forgotten. I thought South Africa was lonely at times (Josh, don't freak out, this is not a reflection on you, its a reflection on me being a foreigner there and not knowing anyone except family)...but Baltimore is worse.

Allergies. How can I be allergy free in Seattle and chock full of nature-induced stuffiness and sneezing in Baltimore? The west coast is so clearly superior it just kills me.

Mornings. I don't see anything nice about mornings. Maybe I would appreciate them more if I wasn't so sleepy then. Before noon just sucks overall in my opinion.

Working 11 hours in a row without food. Cereal doesn't count.





"We should all just quit together."
-Paul

Boo!

I am going to be Alice in Wonderland for Halloween. Sweeeeet.

People Who Annoy Me

1. These days when I hear "Nelly Furtado" I think "mid-life crisis". Its one thing for Madonna who has built her career on provocativeness and cone-bras since the beginnning to continue to be skanky and pop-ish. Ditto for Maria Carey. But it is quite different for the Indie-hip "I'm like a bird" singer to recreate herself with a hip hop album called Loose as soon as she nears 30. She's not that old, but she still seems to be pulling a Demi.

2. People like Christopher Hitchens are just fucking annoying. And no, its not because his atheist evangelizing intimidates me. Its because its hypocritical. He also thrives on the "I'm a bigger ass than you are" stratagem for popularity. Its like he gets a high off the idea of people reading his rants and being like "OMG moment, Hitchens did not just say that" just so he can snap his fingers at them yo mama style and say "in your face".

Apart from my annoyance with his attitude in general and his obsession with being uber provocative for shits and giggles, I think that it is ironic that Hitchens spends more time spreading his anti-Christianity gospel than most Christian missionaries spend spreading their Christian beliefs. Its one thing to define yourself by your belief in something. No matter what religion you are, there is something sort of honorable in committing yourself and your time and your life to your beliefs. But its just not so honorable to commit yourself to the destruction of someone else's beliefs. And lets be clear. That is what Hitchens' aim is. It would be one thing if he was trying to spread his positive belief in atheism, that there is no God. But Hitchens actually wants the destruction of Christianity, not the promotion of something that he believes in. He's like the political candidate who defines herself in opposition to the incumbent. That might be a strategy for getting some votes, but thats not a viable reason or an honorable motivation for running for office.

I thought that Lisa Miller's article in this week's Newsweek had a nice light and concise discussion of the issue. Particularly this bit:

"It struck me the other day, while watching Hitchens attempt to eviscerate another believer at a Templeton Foundation luncheon, that the battle between faith and reason can make enemies out of friends.

Submitting faith to proof is absurd. Reason defines one kind of reality (what we know): faith defines another (what we don't know). Reasonable believers can live with both at once."


Hitchens is like a Dan Brown reader who forgot to read the end of The Da Vinci Code. The part where they decide to not reveal that parts of the institution of Christianity have been a sham because of the hope that it provides to so many people. And because parts of it have been a sham doesn't mean that the core values and beliefs of Christianity are necessarily false. Yes, many bad things have been done in the name of Christianity. Maybe more so than any other religion. But bad things have been done in the name of the United States government too. It doesn't mean that the US should be "taken down" by terrorists. (Yes, I just compared Hitchens to a would-be terrorist...tee hee hee.) Governments can have bad representatives who damage their country's reputation, but it doesn't meant that the country itself is evil.

Essentially, with rhetoric like that contained in his book God Is Not Great, Hitchens has targeted Christianity for extinction and ended up merely grasping at the straws of the scarecrow that he attacked instead. Congrats, buddy. And to top it all off, he just can't resist patting himself on the back for all of his "successful" work vilifying "God".


3. Sarah Palin. This needs no explanation. As my mom says, "it will be a good idea to watch tomorrow's debate with a bin full of socks so that you can throw them at the tv screen whenever Palin says something stupid." And as my dad says, "then when you've used up all your socks, you can just throw up in it."

Phoebe's Misadventures in Making Baltimore Friends

Did you know that on the Hills Lauren and Audrina did not become friends all by themselves? Audrina was actually auditioned to be one of the first of Lauren's "LA friends" after being spotted at a pool and approached for the role. If only someone would audition people to be my friends, because I am not having much luck on my own.

I am now working as a waitress in a neighborhood restaurant. I absolutely love it. Some days I don't make much money (my salary is $3 an hour so I basically need tips to make showing up to work worthwhile), but its all good fun. Anyway, I figured that the other people at the restaurant were my best bet for making friends. Unfortunately all the other girls seem to have rockin' social lives, and I didn't want to make the effort to horn in on someone's life if their friend list was already full.

So, that narrowed down the pool of potential friends to one busboy. He seemed nice. My only issue was that I definitely wanted it to be clear that I am NOT available and I only want someone to hang out with. It seemed like that was taken care of, though, because pretty much everyone at the restaurant knows about my boyfriend. And then, magically I didn't even have to do anything...the busboy said that we should hang out. I was suspicious and was like "as friends right...you know I have a boyfriend," and he said "of course, just as friends."

Ha! Little did I know that he was LYING to me. Filthy Baltimore kids. Next thing I know he is talking about how cute my toes are. Ewwww! I don't even like my own feet, so if some complete stranger (yes, he has been relegated in my head from coworker to stranger) is going on about my "hot feet" I know that they are a)super high, and b)trying to get in my pants.

And the horribleness continues. If Josh reads this he is going to freak the fuck out because I didn't tell him this yet. But seriously dear, I didn't want to make you upset, so I left this bit out. Anyway, next the busboy calls to let me know that I should dump my boyfriend because he could treat me so much better. I was like "bitch! You don't know my life!" But I didn't say it of course, because I never say what I think in weird situations. I need to be more like my little sister.

AND, even though I am made it clear that I was happy with my boyfriend and that I wouldn't be considering this kid even if I wasn't with my boyfriend, he won't stop! He pokes my stomach at work constantly. Seriously? Seriously?! That doesn't make me feel cute or flattered, it makes me feel gross like the Pillsbury dough boy.

Argh. Once again. Why is it always the weird ones???? I'm not that weird! How come weird people decide to get all up in my life?! I hate it.

Ew. And I hate that I am being mean and bitchy too. This poor kid probably doesn't deserve all the animosity I have towards him. It is just an inevitable consequence that occurs when people don't step off when I have given them ample opportunity to do so.

Hmph. Maybe the kitchen staff kid who tried to sell me pot will be my next friend target. Then again. Maybe not.

"A Nation of Whiners"

Its pretty clear where that group of whiners that McCain was talking about are...they are the Republic pundits who are commenting on his speech right now. I have never seen grown men pout so much or repeat the phrase "fiery ball of hypocrisy" so many times as the Republicans on Larry King Live are right now.

And it is pretty clear that they are grasping at straws too. Unaccustomed to seeing a Democrat actually bring a fight to the opponent's door, all they can grump about is "false insinuations" that they maintain Obama made about McCain. Did he say anything untrue? No. But they are pissed as hell that he apparently insinuated that McCain is dumb, and that McCain did or would or might miss a chance to catch Osama bin Laden.

I would also like to point out that there is some blatant racism going on in some of the comments being made by McCain lap dogs. First of all, why preface your comments on Obama by arguing that there has not been racism in this country for a least a decade. Bullshit. Second of all, stop using violent language and phrases to describe anything in connection with the first black man to be nominated for president by a major party. It's so Reagan its sick. I don't want to hear one more person talk about how Obama is "slashing and burning McCain" or how there is now "blood in the water". The coded language going on here is not going to work and its sickening. Some might say that I am being an oversensitive conspiracy theorist here, but its not true. Start listening to the language of the Republican machine now compared to the language that they have used in the past when talking about white Democratic candidates. Don't let McCain's little congratulatory ad fool you, either. They have nothing to say in response to Obama's epic speech tonight, and so they are spouting an intricate mix of patronizing praise and veiled racist attacks.

When it all comes down to it, you cannot argue with hope, truth, and inspiration. And so, in response to Obama's convention speech McCain's camp has little else left to say.

I Have A Dream

Remarks of Senator Barack Obama
"The American Promise"
Democratic National Convention
August 28, 2008
Denver, Colorado

As prepared for delivery

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To Chairman Dean and my great friend Dick Durbin; and to all my fellow citizens of this great nation;

With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States.
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Let me express my thanks to the historic slate of candidates who accompanied me on this journey, and especially the one who traveled the farthest - a champion for working Americans and an inspiration to my daughters and to yours -- Hillary Rodham Clinton. To President Clinton, who last night made the case for change as only he can make it; to Ted Kennedy, who embodies the spirit of service; and to the next Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden, I thank you. I am grateful to finish this journey with one of the finest statesmen of our time, a man at ease with everyone from world leaders to the conductors on the Amtrak train he still takes home every night.

To the love of my life, our next First Lady, Michelle Obama, and to Sasha and Malia - I love you so much, and I'm so proud of all of you.

Four years ago, I stood before you and told you my story - of the brief union between a young man from Kenya and a young woman from Kansas who weren't well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to.

It is that promise that has always set this country apart - that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well.

That's why I stand here tonight. Because for two hundred and thirty two years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women - students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors -- found the courage to keep it alive.

We meet at one of those defining moments - a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more.

Tonight, more Americans are out of work and more are working harder for less. More of you have lost your homes and even more are watching your home values plummet. More of you have cars you can't afford to drive, credit card bills you can't afford to pay, and tuition that's beyond your reach.

These challenges are not all of government's making. But the failure to respond is a direct result of a broken politics in Washington and the failed policies of George W. Bush.

America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.

This country is more decent than one where a woman in Ohio, on the brink of retirement, finds herself one illness away from disaster after a lifetime of hard work.

This country is more generous than one where a man in Indiana has to pack up the equipment he's worked on for twenty years and watch it shipped off to China, and then chokes up as he explains how he felt like a failure when he went home to tell his family the news.

We are more compassionate than a government that lets veterans sleep on our streets and families slide into poverty; that sits on its hands while a major American city drowns before our eyes.

Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and Independents across this great land - enough! This moment - this election - is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: "Eight is enough."

Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we'll also hear about those occasions when he's broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need.

But the record's clear: John McCain has voted with George Bush ninety percent of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush has been right more than ninety percent of the time? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to take a ten percent chance on change.

The truth is, on issue after issue that would make a difference in your lives - on health care and education and the economy - Senator McCain has been anything but independent. He said that our economy has made "great progress" under this President. He said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. And when one of his chief advisors - the man who wrote his economic plan - was talking about the anxiety Americans are feeling, he said that we were just suffering from a "mental recession," and that we've become, and I quote, "a nation of whiners."

A nation of whiners? Tell that to the proud auto workers at a Michigan plant who, after they found out it was closing, kept showing up every day and working as hard as ever, because they knew there were people who counted on the brakes that they made. Tell that to the military families who shoulder their burdens silently as they watch their loved ones leave for their third or fourth or fifth tour of duty. These are not whiners. They work hard and give back and keep going without complaint. These are the Americans that I know.

Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know. Why else would he define middle-class as someone making under five million dollars a year? How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big corporations and oil companies but not one penny of tax relief to more than one hundred million Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax people's benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college, or a plan that would privatize Social Security and gamble your retirement?

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy - give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is - you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps - even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.

Well it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America.

You see, we Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in this country.

We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage; whether you can put a little extra money away at the end of each month so you can someday watch your child receive her college diploma. We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was President - when the average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead of down $2,000 like it has under George Bush.

We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business, or whether the waitress who lives on tips can take a day off to look after a sick kid without losing her job - an economy that honors the dignity of work.

The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great - a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight.

Because in the faces of those young veterans who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I see my grandfather, who signed up after Pearl Harbor, marched in Patton's Army, and was rewarded by a grateful nation with the chance to go to college on the GI Bill.

In the face of that young student who sleeps just three hours before working the night shift, I think about my mom, who raised my sister and me on her own while she worked and earned her degree; who once turned to food stamps but was still able to send us to the best schools in the country with the help of student loans and scholarships.

When I listen to another worker tell me that his factory has shut down, I remember all those men and women on the South Side of Chicago who I stood by and fought for two decades ago after the local steel plant closed.

And when I hear a woman talk about the difficulties of starting her own business, I think about my grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle-management, despite years of being passed over for promotions because she was a woman. She's the one who taught me about hard work. She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me. And although she can no longer travel, I know that she's watching tonight, and that tonight is her night as well.

I don't know what kind of lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this has been mine. These are my heroes. Theirs are the stories that shaped me. And it is on their behalf that I intend to win this election and keep our promise alive as President of the United States.

What is that promise?

It's a promise that says each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have the obligation to treat each other with dignity and respect.

It's a promise that says the market should reward drive and innovation and generate growth, but that businesses should live up to their responsibilities to create American jobs, look out for American workers, and play by the rules of the road.

Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves - protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology.

Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

That's the promise of America - the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am President.
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Change means a tax code that doesn't reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

Washington's been talking about our oil addiction for the last thirty years, and John McCain has been there for twenty-six of them. In that time, he's said no to higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars, no to investments in renewable energy, no to renewable fuels. And today, we import triple the amount of oil as the day that Senator McCain took office.

Now is the time to end this addiction, and to understand that drilling is a stop-gap measure, not a long-term solution. Not even close.

As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies re-tool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I'll invest 150 billion dollars over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy - wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and five million new jobs that pay well and can't ever be outsourced.

America, now is not the time for small plans.

Now is the time to finally meet our moral obligation to provide every child a world-class education, because it will take nothing less to compete in the global economy. Michelle and I are only here tonight because we were given a chance at an education. And I will not settle for an America where some kids don't have that chance. I'll invest in early childhood education. I'll recruit an army of new teachers, and pay them higher salaries and give them more support. And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability. And we will keep our promise to every young American - if you commit to serving your community or your country, we will make sure you can afford a college education.

Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable, accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums. If you don't, you'll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves. And as someone who watched my mother argue with insurance companies while she lay in bed dying of cancer, I will make certain those companies stop discriminating against those who are sick and need care the most.

Now is the time to help families with paid sick days and better family leave, because nobody in America should have to choose between keeping their jobs and caring for a sick child or ailing parent.

Now is the time to change our bankruptcy laws, so that your pensions are protected ahead of CEO bonuses; and the time to protect Social Security for future generations.

And now is the time to keep the promise of equal pay for an equal day's work, because I want my daughters to have exactly the same opportunities as your sons.

Now, many of these plans will cost money, which is why I've laid out how I'll pay for every dime - by closing corporate loopholes and tax havens that don't help America grow. But I will also go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less - because we cannot meet twenty-first century challenges with a twentieth century bureaucracy.

And Democrats, we must also admit that fulfilling America's promise will require more than just money. It will require a renewed sense of responsibility from each of us to recover what John F. Kennedy called our "intellectual and moral strength." Yes, government must lead on energy independence, but each of us must do our part to make our homes and businesses more efficient. Yes, we must provide more ladders to success for young men who fall into lives of crime and despair. But we must also admit that programs alone can't replace parents; that government can't turn off the television and make a child do her homework; that fathers must take more responsibility for providing the love and guidance their children need.

Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility - that's the essence of America's promise.

And just as we keep our keep our promise to the next generation here at home, so must we keep America's promise abroad. If John McCain wants to have a debate about who has the temperament, and judgment, to serve as the next Commander-in-Chief, that's a debate I'm ready to have.

For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just "muddle through" in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell - but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.

And today, as my call for a time frame to remove our troops from Iraq has been echoed by the Iraqi government and even the Bush Administration, even after we learned that Iraq has a $79 billion surplus while we're wallowing in deficits, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war.

That's not the judgment we need. That won't keep America safe. We need a President who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past.

You don't defeat a terrorist network that operates in eighty countries by occupying Iraq. You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances. If John McCain wants to follow George Bush with more tough talk and bad strategy, that is his choice - but it is not the change we need.

We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don't tell me that Democrats won't defend this country. Don't tell me that Democrats won't keep us safe. The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans -- Democrats and Republicans - have built, and we are here to restore that legacy.

As Commander-in-Chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home.

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.

These are the policies I will pursue. And in the weeks ahead, I look forward to debating them with John McCain.

But what I will not do is suggest that the Senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other's character and patriotism.

The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America - they have served the United States of America.

So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.

America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose - our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore.

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.

I know there are those who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on something larger, something firmer and more honest in our public life is just a Trojan Horse for higher taxes and the abandonment of traditional values. And that's to be expected. Because if you don't have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.

You make a big election about small things.

And you know what - it's worked before. Because it feeds into the cynicism we all have about government. When Washington doesn't work, all its promises seem empty. If your hopes have been dashed again and again, then it's best to stop hoping, and settle for what you already know.

I get it. I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington.

But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us - that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it - because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.

America, this is one of those moments.

I believe that as hard as it will be, the change we need is coming. Because I've seen it. Because I've lived it. I've seen it in Illinois, when we provided health care to more children and moved more families from welfare to work. I've seen it in Washington, when we worked across party lines to open up government and hold lobbyists more accountable, to give better care for our veterans and keep nuclear weapons out of terrorist hands.

And I've seen it in this campaign. In the young people who voted for the first time, and in those who got involved again after a very long time. In the Republicans who never thought they'd pick up a Democratic ballot, but did. I've seen it in the workers who would rather cut their hours back a day than see their friends lose their jobs, in the soldiers who re-enlist after losing a limb, in the good neighbors who take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes and the floodwaters rise.

This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that's not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores.

Instead, it is that American spirit - that American promise - that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours - a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.

And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.

The men and women who gathered there could've heard many things. They could've heard words of anger and discord. They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred.

But what the people heard instead - people of every creed and color, from every walk of life - is that in America, our destiny is inextricably linked. That together, our dreams can be one.

"We cannot walk alone," the preacher cried. "And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back."

America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise - that American promise - and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America.

If I should die before I wake...

...then it was probably because I have West Nile. I feel very achey and breaky right now. I'm nauseated, my legs hurt, and my head aches. Even my chest hurts. And the only thing I can think of that could be causing all this horrible-ness is the twenty-million mosquito bites that I sustained yesterday. Damn the fact that this house is so small. I always go outside to talk on the phone because I'm paranoid about being overheard. I will be so pissed if I die because of that.

I also feel emotionally empty. I overslept this morning and had to pop straight out of bed and out the door. Consequently I couldn't check my email or write to Josh. Big mistake. When I did finally get home to check my email I got an asinine message from Josh informing me that if I did not respond to his email within 5 minutes, then we were done. It had been sent more than three hours ago, meaning that he had dumped me (yet a-fucking-gain) because I was out running errands and was unable to write email first thing in the morning. Yes dear, if you are reading this, I do think I am perfectly justified in ranting about this publicly. Because your rashness and impatience is undeserved and is actually ridiculous.

On a completely separate note...my mother accidentally flashed some random guy today. Whoops!

Aaaaand, Convention Thoughts:
-The Hillary Clinton video bio that aired before Hillary's speech tonight was actually quite endearing. Aaron, do not have an aneurysm, but that little video brought me quite a bit closer to forgiving her for being a slight biatch.

-Michelle Obama looks unbelievably gorgeous tonight. Who in their right mind could ever prefer the Stepford wife that is Cindy McCain over the beautiful, intelligent and very real woman that is Michelle Obama?

-Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer was THE PERFECT speaker. You can't get much more down home, good ol' boy American than him. I could just see him reeling in the swing voters and even moderate Republicans. I just hope that people other than hardcore Democrats are paying attention to the Convention.

-All you angry women on the news who say that you are so pissed that Hillary lost the nomination that you are going to vote for McCain, you people are the ones who should move to Canada. Get some common sense, or leave. Seriously.

Paranoia

I am probably being crazy. And I feel guilty for being paranoid. And I know I am probably just paranoid anyway because I am feeling guilty for being here instead of there today. But what if I am right and something is wrong.

I do not know what to do.

Mi Hermanita

"I don't think you're vain, I just think that you're blown away by your own beauty."
-my sister

She's pretty funny when she isn't yelling at me. Must be because she's the youngest.

Shake it Up

But not in a Cars way. This is in a bad way. As in I can't shake the feeling that something is going on with Josh. He hasn't emailed in a long time (for us) and I don't know what is going on. I feel like there is a 33.3% chance that he is mad at me, a 33.3% chance that he is just too busy or didn't have enough airtime to email, and a 33.3% chance that an ex is distracting him. I am most worried about the latter, because I think that even if he has had contact with an ex recently, he won't tell me about it, because he thinks that I will freak out even if it isn't bad. I won't freak out, I just want to know whats going on so that I don't have to be paranoid that something bad is actually going on.

I feel so alone in Baltimore. Things are not exactly going well with my family. And I have nobody else here but them. Everyone else that I know is oh so far away from the pit of humidity that is this city.

Its no wonder that I am so into tv shows these days. Watching the characters in shows has become my replacement for actual interaction with friends. I know that that level of dependency on vicarious living is sad. But at least I am not in denial about it.

Plus I am realizing that I am much more able to survive independently than I thought. I haven't been having any sort of trouble living here alone...even when my family is mad at me. Yes, it makes me sad, and inspires the whole tv characters playing the role of friends debacle, but I am really quite fine. It doesn't take effort for me to survive in Baltimore like it used to. I used to count down the days until I got to go back to Seattle. I counted down a whole summer's worth of days one by one. Maybe I am not doing that now since I know that I can't go back to Seattle any time soon. But still. Its progress. I count in months now.

Lean With It/Rock With It

Its okay, guys. Phil and Keely ended up dancing with each other in the end. Life is as it should be.

I got served.

Actually no. I did the serving. And I made my first tip!!!! $25, which is pretty good, I think. I knew I would be a good waitress.

Besides that I have absolutely nothing to say. My head is too filled with logic games to have room for anything else....well, anything else besides the HORROR that I am experiencing right now watching Phil of the Future. He has decided that he has a crush on some random girl, which is infuriating because everyone knows that he is supposed to end up with his friend Keely! Aaaah!

HelLSAT

Yup, its that bad. And although I was an absolute good girl at treating studying like a game for the first two of my prep class sessions, third time was charm in ushering me back to the ways of a lazy daydreamer.

It doesn't help my attention span that there are those incessant suck-ups in my class as per usual. They often tend to be boys (but not always as UW Statistics taught me), and they sicken me. I may be a good student but I could never even be acquaintances with those people who insist on attaching their lips to the teachers ass. Seriously. Do you think that is going to increase your LSAT score at all? No. Not even one point. It will just increase your enemy quota....something that, as a suck-up, you probably don't give a shit about anyway.

I am mildly entertained by some of the tips they give us, though. They say that whenever you have a disagreement between a female and a male in a prompt, it will generally be the male who is mistaken. Apparently you can pretty much depend on that because the LSAT has to make a concerted effort to be more "female-friendly"....or just more realistic. (: Also, if the prompt contains information about laws or legal practices, the favored one will always be the option that creates more laws, more restrictions, and basically things for lawyers to work on. Lovely.

Oh! And I am psyched that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show soon!!! She is by far my favorite news analyst and I will watch her show as religiously as I watch The Hills.








"Top 5 LSAT Faux Paus

5. Wearing War Paint: Seriously, Geronimo? This is the LSAT, not the Battle of The Little Big Horn or a high school football game. I’ve already built the test up to be far more important than it actually is. Your equating it with a bloody struggle for survival is not helping.

4. Having a Coughing Fit: I’ll excuse this one because I was the cougher in question, but in retrospect, it was certainly a faux-pas. If you were taking the LSAT this weekend in Akron, Ohio and couldn’t concentrate on the fifth section because a small Indian girl sounded like she was ready to unhinge an internal organ, I apologize.

3. Blatant Cheating: Whether searching for the experimental section, filling in bubbles past the time or scanning the work of the person next to you, there is no better way to get assaulted by a gang of Political Science majors than cheating on the LSAT. Pencils down means pencils down!

2. Over-packing: Good thing you brought eight pencils, five erasers, three extra layers of clothing, two water bottles, Kleenex, cough drops and a first aid kit. You never know what could happen. Actually, you do know what could happen–nothing! It’s a test, not a camping trip. How much could go wrong when you’re not allowed to leave the room? Here’s some advice: if the list of what you’re lugging to the test center sounds like a Christmas carol (and certainly if you are considering a partridge in a pear tree), you have over-packed.

1. Over-hyping Your Post-LSAT Plans: “Dude, this sucks. But when it’s over we’re sooo going to Mad4 and we’re going to get sooo trashed.” Clearly you’ve had to spend the past couple of weekends taking practice tests rather than hitting the bars and you’re feeling pretty insecure about it. If you’re a senior and still need to assure yourself of your own coolness during a standardized test, you need the sort of help that the Spin cannot provide."

-Amruta Godbole for the Daily Pennsylvanian
http://lamp.dailypennsylvanian.com/thespin/2006/10/03/

Bubble Girl

It's ridiculous how awkward I am. I know that I will be a completely kicking waitress. I will be so attentive and endlessly friendly. I have absolutely no qualms about being helpful and outgoing when it comes to serving people and talking to them briefly and everything. So, how is it that I cannot handle meeting people and socializing and fitting in. There is so much standing around time at the restaurant and since I am in training and have nothing really to do, I stick out like a sore thumb. The wait staff are constantly talking and joking around and I just stand there. I need to freaking get it together if I am going to have a life that is not surrounded by Ramona Quimby awkwardness.

Argh! Why do I suck so much with new people? I just want everyone in my life to be familiar already.







"I wanted to be a ballerina. I changed my mind."
-Beverly Cleary

Prison Break...

is a delicious show, and if you don't appreciate it then you can go kick rocks. I think that Wentworth Miller's character's master plan to break out of jail is the sexiest damn thing I have ever watched....and not solely because Wentworth Miller is eye candy.

In other news, I am being annoying and obsessive today. So I am making an executive decision to put myself to bed....with an hour of reading Eclipse first, of course.

And, a thought: hickies...cute or trashy? Hmmm, it is up in the air.

Olympic Odes

So, I was not exactly that psyched coming into this summer Olympics. But then I realized that the next time I will have the opportunity of watching gymnastics and swimming will be when I am 25. Agh! That is enough to make anyone turn on their tv.

And once it is on, how can you turn it off? Seriously! Michael Phelps is the fastest swimmer that has ever lived! How can you not be enthralled by that! Plus I think that it was incredible that he gave up his spot in the men's relay to Ian Crocker last Olympics. I know he already had six gold medals at that point, but still. You have to be crazy-nice to sacrifice for a teammate like that. And Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson are amazing. Shawn is absolutely adorable and I love her name. And Nastia was killer. She is not exactly short for gymnastics, and yet she was so consistent in sticking her landings. She is fabulous, and she really seems like a down-to-earth, likeable person. And not in just a little girl kinds of way, like some of the female gymnasts. Also, nice choice of eyeshadow for the individual competition. Some of the girls seem to go a little crazy with the electric blue powder and eyeliner, but hers was completely perfect. And don't even get me started on Ryan Lochte. He is dashing. That is the best word I can think of to describe his face. I'm not attracted to him, even in a celebrity crush kind of way, I just think that he is objectively very very very good looking. And I was so happy that he won a gold medal today.

Also, watching Bella Caroli watch Nastia Liukin's floor routine was the most enjoyable thing that I have done in a loooong time. Seriously! Watch it on Youtube. I promise you will be smiling the whole time.

Oh! But sidenote, the body glitter that some of the gymnasts have on their faces is not cool at all. It looks gross when it mingles with sweat and everything, and makes them look younger. Which is especially bad for the Chinese women gymnasts because it is already suspected that three of them are underage. I think it is almost certain that they are younger than 16 because even NPR did a story on it. If they are, that is disappointing because it means that the Chinese government knowingly issued them illegal passports with fake birth dates. That is underhanded, and shouldn't be ignored by the Olympic Committee. I don't necessarily think that they gymnasts themselves should be punished at this point if they do turn out to be underage, but I do think that lying about their ages is at least as bad as steroid use.

Eventually?

Oh.My.Goodness.

I just had a dream that I wish I could erase. You know one of those really vivid ones that injects itself into your real life memories so that even when you are awake you can't go back to being the person who hadn't experienced whatever you experienced in your dream? And if its a good dream, then you can't go back to living your life regularly because you didn't know what you were missing before. Or at least you weren't as aware of it. And so your life is destined to feel incomplete until you can banish the dream memory to the back of your mind. But still, you will be reminded now and then of that thing that you can't have at the moment, that you really really really really just need.

And no. Do not be silly. I am not talking about sex.

I wish I wish I wish. That I was not in Baltimore.

I am so angsty, you would think I was still a teenager.








"The Duchess: You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.
Alice: Perhaps it hasn't one.
The Duchess: Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Rush Limbaugh is a freaking douche

I saw a clip of him discussing Elizabeth Edwards and how she might be smarter than her husband and might have been directing his speeches and a large portion of his campaign. In a negative way, of course. God forbid Rush would discuss a woman being smart as a positive. Anyway, he wrapped it around in a very convoluted way to blame her for her husband's infidelity.

Gosh, its like Rush Limbaugh really wants to go to hell or something. He's willing to pull out all the stops.

The worst part is that his little misogynistic rant on Elizabeth Edwards was garbled and unclear and he stopped for a break at least three times in the middle of each sentence. Seriously, guy. Lay off the crack.

The Female Only Child

Olive is in this category and so I am particularly partial to it.

All the stereotypical negatives about only children are not actually true according to most of the literature on birth order that I've been reading. They aren't more selfish, they do know how to relate to people, and they don't have less conflict in their lives. Instead of having conflict with siblings, however, they have more conflict with their parents than other children. Supposedly. I didn't see this at all with Olive....but I would also be the first to admit that she was special. She was compassionate and only wanted harmony in the world, so maybe she didn't fit at all into the only child conflict box.

The main drawback of being an only (expecially an only girl) is that they are often more dependent on their parents and keep a dependency on other people later in life. In that way they can be like younger children who like to defer to their partners with certain decisions, and enjoy being taken care of.

Another characteristic of female only children is that they model themselves closely after their parents. They often take over the same interests and tendencies.

The best match for female only children is supposed to be older brothers of sisters. Female only children want storybook romance and attention, and the older brother of sisters can give it. But he might not get enough playfulness in return like he is used to from his younger siblings because the only female child is simply not as flirty and playful.


But she's a damn good best friend.

Birth Order

I think that birth order is the most fascinating thing since astrological signs. And while it is not as mystical, it is far more relevant to everyone's lives...their personality, their futures and their compatibility with other people.

Some people, Josh included, are birth order skeptics and cannot see how something so seemingly trivial can impact their personality much less their entire life. But birth order personality traits are so logical, so consistent between people. It's not about fate and predestination. It's about environment shaping a person. Social scientists say that the fundamental aspects of your personality is shaped during your first three years of life. And every year after that is of decreasing importance to the make up of you. Your childhood years impact your personality more than your teens and your teenage years more than college life and so on. Of course there are a lot of elements that combine to make up your formative years. But think about it. Wouldn't the additional presence of another sibling in your family (or the absence of all your existing siblings) fundamentally change the way that you grew up. Your parents treat you differently, they give you more or less attention, you learn to share or you don't have to share at home, you are the constant babysitter or you are the one who is being babied.

I feel particularly strong about birth order because I can see exactly how being the oldest child and having a younger sister has affected me. And I find that most people you meet are much easier to understand if you can see where they are coming from. That is, the birth order that they are coming out of.

So, I am going to be boring and talk only about birth order. One per night. And first, thanks to my predictable narcissism, will be me!


OLDER SISTERS OF SISTER(S)
An important factor in how birth order affects your personality (especially in terms of compatibility) is not only your birth order, but your gender and the gender of your siblings. This is important because it often changes how your parents treated you, how comfortable you feel with the opposite sex, and how well you understand the opposite sex.

Interestingly, nearly all of my friends that I can think of are older siblings...with a few only children scattered in. Not many of them are older sisters of sisters, however.

Older sisters of sisters are not as easy to understand as other firstborns are. They do have the defining firstborn characteristics of seriousness of purpose, the natural ability and desire to lead, high standards, conservativeness (NOT in terms of politics!), and adherence to authority.

Additionally, however, older sisters of sisters are extreme perfectionists. They have overdeveloped consciences and tend to feel guilty VERY often. They dedicate themselves to their goals to the point of blindness to other areas of their lives. They are also "super feminine" because they have no brothers and thus will not generally have the influence of a masculine peer in their early life. They also are almost unfailingly conscientious. So conscientious and obedient that they are often the favorites of most teachers, and develop great relationships with their male teachers and male figures of authority. Part of the reason for this is that older sisters of sisters, with the no brother to draw attention away from them, tend to be especially close to their fathers. The time spent interacting closely with a father male authority figure makes them comfortable and even drawn to other male authority figures. And those authorities will like them for all their mature, good-girl attributes.

Older sisters of sisters tend to have a slight problem dealing with guys. Having no brothers, boys are foreign to them. However, this is most expressed when dating and because of their comfortability with male authority figures, older sisters of sisters often have many male friends, much to the chagrin of their boyfriends. They often have misconceptions about how to interact with boyfriends (and husbands) because they assume the opposite sex to be less sensitive and to fit with male stereotypes. Intertwined with this is the tendency of older sisters to want to dominate. They will be planners like any other firstborn and will want their eventual partner to go along with their schemes and ideas. But at the same time, older sisters of sisters will also want to be submissive, just as they were comfortable being submissive to their fathers. This will confuse them (and their partner) and cause a lot of inner conflict.

In terms of compatibility, older sisters of sisters are supposedly best matched with younger brothers of sisters. Generally speaking, all older siblings are supposed to go best with younger siblings and vice versa because they balance each other. Where the older sister is a nervous, high pressure, serious perfectionist, the younger brother is laid-back and easy going. Younger brothers are often the center of attention and rarely are without girls who would love to be with them. The only difficulty here is that younger brothers may not stay interested in older sisters of sisters because younger brothers enjoy being babied and need constant attention which older sisters of sisters often do not realize. Plus, younger brothers will have many girls to choose from because of their magnetic, female-friendly personalities and will choose the most stand-out ones, which are not always older sisters.

Another good match for the older sister of sisters is the older brother of sisters. Older brothers of sisters (this refers to any older brother that has one sister whether or not they also have a brother) are supposed to be the best at understanding the personality of the older sister. From acting as the guardian of their sister they are also superb listeners, they are particularly conscientious towards girls, and have a better sense of the rest of their male peers how females tick. They also provide the authority figure that older sisters of sisters feel so comfortable with.



This, is very funny and deliciously satisfying to me. Because it fits me so very perfectly. I am a perfectionist. I feel constantly guilty. I want to dominate and have the entire world follow my perfectly planned schemes. But I also want someone to dominate me on occasion....I want to be challenged. I have always been considered one of the nicest students by my teachers growing up and I typically have excellent relationships with my male professors. I look up to them and they respect and look out for me. Fitting with the whole birth order compatibility schtick, I am now dating a younger brother of sisters...my "best match". And just like birth order theory would predict, one of our biggest conflicts is that I do not baby him...I don't understand how to, I don't realize how much attention he needs, and I don't realize how guys react to certain things. And, he HATES the idea of me having friends that are guys. My guy friends, on the other hand, almost without fail are older brothers of sisters...the ones that birth order theory predicts are the best at understanding older sisters of sisters.

Hmph. It all makes sense. And I am pleased with the niceness of how everything fits into my life. It means that I am perfectly compatible with my friends, my boyfriend, and my career goals. But I won't go into career goals here.



"BANG!"
-The sound five minutes ago that echoed through the neighborhood just before all the lights went out.

Wyoming

I can't seem to get soap off my hands here. The water must be soft. Or hard. Or whichever one doesn't work as well at getting you clean.

People also seem to love their liquor here. Drive through liquor stores and everything. Yeehaw!









"I spilled ice all over the hotel room, is there a vaccuum here?"
-my sister

Butte's Copper 94 fm Rocks My Socks Off

As we were rolling along through Montana today, I decided that we should call in to request some songs to kill time. Luckily the DJ at KPOW Copper 94.1 was ready and willing to take my request for Build Me Up, Buttercup. I was excited like whoa until 45 minutes passed and he still hadn't played my song. I'll admit, I was feeling pretty sad and dejected, but I realize that as the only request line radio in Southwest Montana, he can't necessarily take everyone's requests. As soon as I reconciled myself with the fact that no buttercups were being built up, I heard him say, "This is the last request song of the day..." -I'm thinking damn this radio station- "and its Build Me Up Buttercup requested by a young lady named Phoebe Brooks, who also is our free lunch prize winner!"

My mom, my sister and I screamed and yelled all the way from Anaconda to Butte to claim our free lunch coupon and 2 liter of Pepsi. It was phenomenal. I don't think they get many people taking pictures in front of their station with their winnings, though, because I got a lot of weird looks.

Still, I will rep Copper 94 all the way to Baltimore.

Me and Butte are like me and pickles. And I really like pickles.

Also, Yellowstone is dope. I've never seen any of it before, and I am very impressed. A little like Disneyland with all the different areas...frontierland, fantasyland and all that. Except with no rides, of course. Lots of Matterhorn looking hot springs today.






"Ok-la-ho-ma, wouldn't wanna be ya."
-my mother to passing Oklahoma tourists

Roadtrip: Sea-town to B-more

me: "I hate cookie cutter hotels"
my mother: "Well that's too bad because I signed up for the La Quinta rewards club and we're gonna La Quinta it all the way to Baltimore."




my mother: "Okay, we are not going to pass another one of this historic sites without stopping and appreciating it."
my sister: "Well will you just pull up close so I can appreciate it without leaving the car."




me: "What's a trustle?"
my mother: "The word is trestle, not trustle! Oh my goodness, its like you didn't even graduate from college."

Zim is Doomed

The only remaining opposition candidate opposing Mugabe dropped out of the race. I would too if my fellow MDC party-members had been lit on fire by Mugabe's hit men.




"Only God can remove me."
-Mugabe

South African Politics 101

The Major Players:

Mbeki-The current President of South Africa (following Nelson Mandela). Was the president of the ANC until recently. Lately has been notably absent from publicly condemning the xenophobic violence across the country. Has also tacitly supported instead of condemned Zimbabwe's "President", the infamous Robert Mugabe, and Zim's recent "election".

The African National Congress (ANC)-One of the organizations that was instrumental in dismantling apartheid. Now the ruling political party of the country. Both Mandela and Mbeki were elected president of the ANC before being elected President of South Africa. The ANC currently holds over 76% of the seats in the National Assembly (sort of the equivalent of Congress).

Zuma-The newly elected President of the ANC and the expected winner of the upcoming South African presidential election. He is widely supported by lower-income blacks who make up the majority of the country. However, many others (myself include) are worried about his apparent tendency toward corruption and foolish positions. His statements on AIDS have drawn the most criticism, especially his remark that he doesn't regret having unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman because he showered afterwards. There is a case against him before the SA Constitutional Court for being involved in likely corrupt arrangement with a French arms dealing company. It is possible that he could be convicted before the election and thus would no longer be eligible for the presidency.

Constitutional Court-The US Supreme Court would do well to take a page out of the SA ConCourt's impressive book. The Court has made numerous bold decisions since its inception in 1994 including requiring the government to provide housing for the most vulnerable in society (much more progressive on socioeconomic issues than the US SC will EVER be), striking down the death penalty against public support, and legalizing same-sex marriage. Given the set up of the SA Constitution, however, I am concerned that the ConCourt is overly susceptible to societal pressure and at risk of being unable to fulfill its countermajoritarian duties. There don't seem to be a lot of people who agree with me on this, including my law class here. However the fact is that the SA Constitutional can be amended with a 2/3 majority vote in the National Assembly. The ANC currently holds more than enough seats in the Nat'l Assembly to pass an amendment by voting as a block. If the ANC was sufficiently concerned about a case before the court (ahem, such as ANC President Zuma's case that will determine his eligibility for the SA presidency), they could attempt to influence the Court by bringing forth legislation to amend the powers or composition of the Court. I have great respect for most of the judges on the Court, but the Court is young, its power is still inevitably tenuous. It seems completely possible to me that if pressured by a powerful enough faction, the Court could be forced to choose between losing its powers and making a fair decision.

Judge Hlophe-Western Cape Judge President (below the ConCourt) who the ConCourt recently issued a complaint of misconduct against. Hlophe allegedly tried to coerce the Court into helping Zuma by either dismissing, postponing or deciding the pending case against Zuma in his favor. Hlophe claimed that he had special information from the National Intelligence Agency and that the ConCourt Justices could lose their positions if they did not step in line.


This is not quite an "I told you so" moment for me because my worry has been that the ConCourt would be successfully coerced, and in this case, the justices have publicly rebuked Hlophe and the attempted coercion. However, this is still not over yet. It might still swing the other way. Also, if a stronger faction such as the bulk of the ANC leadership tried to pressure the Court instead of just one lower court judge, it might be a different story. Anyway, people were always skeptical of my coerced Court scenario mainly because they didn't think anyone would be so invested in the outcome of the case that they would have the gall to try and pressure ConCourt. Ha! Obviously there is some reason for worry, huh guys?







"It constitutes a grave threat to the institution of the judiciary, and accordingly to our constitution."
-Chief Justice Langa, on the alleged misconduct of Judge Hlophe (via the Cape Argus)