Excerpts

My sister: "I would like a blow torch."
My mother: "I could guess that."

"Them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur..."
-My sister, at Hampton Mansion

"Your nose is so red, mom!"
-Me
"Well, your whole face is red."
-My mother

"If I tell you now what I think you are insecure about, then I won't be able to use it as ammunition later when I am mad at you."
-Aaron

"Woof!"
-My grandmother taking a family picture and attempting to get our attention.