I think that birth order is the most fascinating thing since astrological signs. And while it is not as mystical, it is far more relevant to everyone's lives...their personality, their futures and their compatibility with other people.
Some people, Josh included, are birth order skeptics and cannot see how something so seemingly trivial can impact their personality much less their entire life. But birth order personality traits are so logical, so consistent between people. It's not about fate and predestination. It's about environment shaping a person. Social scientists say that the fundamental aspects of your personality is shaped during your first three years of life. And every year after that is of decreasing importance to the make up of you. Your childhood years impact your personality more than your teens and your teenage years more than college life and so on. Of course there are a lot of elements that combine to make up your formative years. But think about it. Wouldn't the additional presence of another sibling in your family (or the absence of all your existing siblings) fundamentally change the way that you grew up. Your parents treat you differently, they give you more or less attention, you learn to share or you don't have to share at home, you are the constant babysitter or you are the one who is being babied.
I feel particularly strong about birth order because I can see exactly how being the oldest child and having a younger sister has affected me. And I find that most people you meet are much easier to understand if you can see where they are coming from. That is, the birth order that they are coming out of.
So, I am going to be boring and talk only about birth order. One per night. And first, thanks to my predictable narcissism, will be me!
OLDER SISTERS OF SISTER(S)
An important factor in how birth order affects your personality (especially in terms of compatibility) is not only your birth order, but your gender and the gender of your siblings. This is important because it often changes how your parents treated you, how comfortable you feel with the opposite sex, and how well you understand the opposite sex.
Interestingly, nearly all of my friends that I can think of are older siblings...with a few only children scattered in. Not many of them are older sisters of sisters, however.
Older sisters of sisters are not as easy to understand as other firstborns are. They do have the defining firstborn characteristics of seriousness of purpose, the natural ability and desire to lead, high standards, conservativeness (NOT in terms of politics!), and adherence to authority.
Additionally, however, older sisters of sisters are extreme perfectionists. They have overdeveloped consciences and tend to feel guilty VERY often. They dedicate themselves to their goals to the point of blindness to other areas of their lives. They are also "super feminine" because they have no brothers and thus will not generally have the influence of a masculine peer in their early life. They also are almost unfailingly conscientious. So conscientious and obedient that they are often the favorites of most teachers, and develop great relationships with their male teachers and male figures of authority. Part of the reason for this is that older sisters of sisters, with the no brother to draw attention away from them, tend to be especially close to their fathers. The time spent interacting closely with a father male authority figure makes them comfortable and even drawn to other male authority figures. And those authorities will like them for all their mature, good-girl attributes.
Older sisters of sisters tend to have a slight problem dealing with guys. Having no brothers, boys are foreign to them. However, this is most expressed when dating and because of their comfortability with male authority figures, older sisters of sisters often have many male friends, much to the chagrin of their boyfriends. They often have misconceptions about how to interact with boyfriends (and husbands) because they assume the opposite sex to be less sensitive and to fit with male stereotypes. Intertwined with this is the tendency of older sisters to want to dominate. They will be planners like any other firstborn and will want their eventual partner to go along with their schemes and ideas. But at the same time, older sisters of sisters will also want to be submissive, just as they were comfortable being submissive to their fathers. This will confuse them (and their partner) and cause a lot of inner conflict.
In terms of compatibility, older sisters of sisters are supposedly best matched with younger brothers of sisters. Generally speaking, all older siblings are supposed to go best with younger siblings and vice versa because they balance each other. Where the older sister is a nervous, high pressure, serious perfectionist, the younger brother is laid-back and easy going. Younger brothers are often the center of attention and rarely are without girls who would love to be with them. The only difficulty here is that younger brothers may not stay interested in older sisters of sisters because younger brothers enjoy being babied and need constant attention which older sisters of sisters often do not realize. Plus, younger brothers will have many girls to choose from because of their magnetic, female-friendly personalities and will choose the most stand-out ones, which are not always older sisters.
Another good match for the older sister of sisters is the older brother of sisters. Older brothers of sisters (this refers to any older brother that has one sister whether or not they also have a brother) are supposed to be the best at understanding the personality of the older sister. From acting as the guardian of their sister they are also superb listeners, they are particularly conscientious towards girls, and have a better sense of the rest of their male peers how females tick. They also provide the authority figure that older sisters of sisters feel so comfortable with.
This, is very funny and deliciously satisfying to me. Because it fits me so very perfectly. I am a perfectionist. I feel constantly guilty. I want to dominate and have the entire world follow my perfectly planned schemes. But I also want someone to dominate me on occasion....I want to be challenged. I have always been considered one of the nicest students by my teachers growing up and I typically have excellent relationships with my male professors. I look up to them and they respect and look out for me. Fitting with the whole birth order compatibility schtick, I am now dating a younger brother of sisters...my "best match". And just like birth order theory would predict, one of our biggest conflicts is that I do not baby him...I don't understand how to, I don't realize how much attention he needs, and I don't realize how guys react to certain things. And, he HATES the idea of me having friends that are guys. My guy friends, on the other hand, almost without fail are older brothers of sisters...the ones that birth order theory predicts are the best at understanding older sisters of sisters.
Hmph. It all makes sense. And I am pleased with the niceness of how everything fits into my life. It means that I am perfectly compatible with my friends, my boyfriend, and my career goals. But I won't go into career goals here.
"BANG!"
-The sound five minutes ago that echoed through the neighborhood just before all the lights went out.
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