"She's afraid she isn't pretty enough, she isn't smart enough, she isn't young enough or she isn't old enough."

Look at this!
http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/cancer.htm

Yes, there are typos on the webpage, but the entire description is eerily resonating.


My favorite parts:

"It's brutally unfair to toy with the heart of this girl..."
It's true.

"It's hard to know when she'll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, "Your hair looks gorgeous," and she'll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy."
Of course. This happens to me a lot, especially concerning hair.


"She hates to be criticized, she is deeply wounded by ridicule, and she just can't stand being rejected. One, two, three. They're basics. Seldom openly aggressive, the typical Cancerian hesitates. You'll have to make the first move. If she moves anywhere at all, it will be backwards or side–ways. With her basically shy nature and fear that she won't be accepted."


"Everything has a sentimental value, in–cluding canceled checks from 1952 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes you. She's not so much jealous as possessive. There's a shade of difference."

I'll even save name tags if they're from semi-special events.



"The desire to be a little spoiled by loved ones seems to be buried deep in the Cancerian nature. She needs desperately to know you can't live with–out her. and sometimes shell go to great lengths to arouse your pity and protective instincts, just to be assured she means a lot to you. It's really very little for her to ask, when she gives so much in return. But don't be fooled by her weakness during these episodes. That helpless little baby who seeks your big, strong arms to keep out the cold, cruel world is perfectly able to manage by herself, if she must."

And I HATE being treated like I can't manage on my own.



"There's no end to the heroic sacrifice a Cancer woman will be capable of for those she loves. The bravery she can't seem to muster for herself and her own fears is there shining when someone close needs her to be strong."

Unless I decided to not visit you when you're dying....whoops. Actually, I have come to terms with this, and I genuinely think that in a way, that was my way of being strong for her. To stay as close as we had always been would have killed me, and if I acted like something devastating was actually happening, it may have killed her faster. Seriously. I told her for a year that she would most definitely get better, and definitely would not die. It turns out that I was WRONG. But, if I hadn't told her that, and had acted like she might leave at any moment, I would have been more "there for her" as she died, but I don't think it would have been better at all.



"One of the dearest Cancerian women I ever knew was born in Europe, and when she was ill, she would sing every word of the Russian lullabies she had heard as a child, even though she came to America almost half a century ago. Most of us would be lucky if we remembered the tune or words to "Rockabye Baby."

Yuuuup. I can sing every song my parents sung to me when I was little. Including ones that they made up, and ones in mixes of African languages.



"She can be afraid to go to sleep in the dark without a soft night light, afraid of fire and matches, afraid of fast cars and loud noises."

I used to be so terrified at night that I would like perfectly still with my blankets pulled over my head so that nothing could see me. And did this thing that I called duc breathing where I would hardly breathe so that my chest wouldn't rise and fall. I think I didn't actually fall asleep, I eventually just passed out from lack of oxygen every night.







"Baby beluga in the deep blue sea. He swims so wild and he swims so free. He's got heaven above and the sea below. He's just a little white whale on the go."
-Raffi

"Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika
Maluphakanyisw' uphondo lwayo,
Yizwa imithandazo yethu,
Nkosi sikelela, thina lusapho lwayo.
Morena boloka setjhaba sa heso,
O fedise dintwa la matshwenyeho,
O se boloke, O se boloke setjhaba sa heso,
Setjhaba sa South Afrika - South Afrika."