Electricity and Chemistry

Yesterday's headline: ESKOM INCREASES LOAD SHEDDING TO THREE POWER CUTS PER WEEK

Today's headline: ESKOM ANNOUNCES END TO LOAD SHEDDING

Hmmmm....somehow I think it is safer to keep my stock of candles and plan on electicity-free Tuesday night essay writing sessions.



For some reason I have been feeling unsure about things recently. I am not confident that a certain someone completely believes in me....not only in the cliched sense of trusting that I have the ability to change the world, but also believing that the world needs me as something more than a wife or a mother. I feel like he is more concerned with fitting me into his life than he is in making sure that my dreams are fit into my life.

I suppose that is natural in one sense...of course everyone is primarily responsible for making sure that they attain their own life goals. His goals are his responsibility and I don't put them first in my calculus of future plans. But at the same time I have absolutely no expectation that he will sacrifice any of his goals for our mutual lfe plans. He, however, expects, or at the very least wishes, that I would alter my career plans slightly so that they allow for lots of travelling and time off....which is not exactly possible for a lawyer or politician or even a journalist...or any other profession where you can solidly make a difference in the world.

This is not catastrophic for us, because I don't necessarily have to conform to his wishes. And he understands that we will have to compromise to make any sort of cross-Atlantic arrangement work. But beyond simply working things out, maybe what I want is someone who thinks that I am important for the bigger picture of humanity (lol, silly sounding, I know) and not just important for them. Just the fact that I can write this in here with complete certainty that he won't read this is evidence that he isn't necessarily as interested in how I think and what I think as he could be. If I knew that he had a blog, I would read every single entry. So why is it not the same for him?







"Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over."
-Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland