Fuck Purgatory

Apparently our family is going to start a blog for our trip, so it may be that my days on here are numbered. But. I seriously doubt that. Especially seeing as the name of this blog will be "Fish in the Sea" if my sister gets her way or "Life on the Other Side" if my mother does. And it, as mi madre informs me, must be censored along the parameters of "nothing that Grandma would feel uncomfortable reading". Well, I hope that Grandma is comfortable with the name "Nelson's Posse" because that is what I am pulling for.

The city where crime never sleeps is running smoothly at the moment. And time is once again proving to me that no matter how much you are attached to a place or the people in it, if you just wait awhile, you won't think about them so often and it won't hurt anymore. Denial, yes. It is my drug of choice. And I work well with it, quite frankly. I mostly believe that denial is the one reason that I am not completely scarred by losing Olive. She was my everything for so many years, but I am still the same person without here. Less naive, maybe. But I am still silly, and still want to save the world, and I'm still happy. Not as much. But quite a bit. It didn't break me, because I don't really remember her. That's not normal. It's only been a year, and you can't forget the essence of six years of your life just like that. It's not gone, it's just blocked. And it's blocked in order to keep me sane. Denial is not something to be ashamed of. It's like a painkiller for a lot of perfectly functional people. Cramps might be there and in reality your body might be experiencing excruciating pain, but why allow your brain and senses to feel it if you don't have to. Pop an ibuprofen and block your pain receptors with wonderful little chemicals in order to let yourself live your life.

And my mouth still hurts from getting my wisdom teeth "extracted". Not quite like hell anymore, but maybe closer to purgatory. I can stand it because I lost 5 lbs.


"Let's crack jokes!"
-my sister, every minute of every day...so adorable that it gives me a migraine.