"Ooh, child..."

Seattle is my home. Seattle is where all my friends are. And I would practically do anything right now to be back there. The only reason that there is a practically in that sentence preventing it from becoming reality is because I love South Africa, I love my family, and I want to go there and spend time with them.

I just hate the fact that I have to give up my Seattle life and friends to do it.

I know its not giving them up for good, but I know how things go. A third of my friends will all but forget about me, not because they don't love me, but because I will be absent. Another third will miss me for now, but never see me again because our paths just won't cross in the future. The final third keeps me sane. But I can't help but wonder who fate and destiny and chance will put into that group.

Yes, this is me being emo. But there is nothing in the world that I hate more than saying goodbye. Not Reagan. Not even the death penalty.

On a sillier note, here is a classic quote from my mother, followed by a series of unsent half-kidding messages that a friend and I wrote once:

"Mojo, don't kick her right now. She has a lot on her mind."
-my mother, addressing my sister regarding our cat that they had just stapled into a paper bag.

The Phoebe and Chloe letters-only somewhat censored:

"Basically I just wanted to let you know that I have a silly crush on you. This
is probably semi-illegitimate, but I can't seem to make it go away, even though I have tried to. I understand if you can't see me again, which is fine I probably shouldn't be telling you this, I just feel weird not telling you. I hope we can still go out to coffee [bleep bleep bleep bleep], because I genuinely [bleep bleep] and I also respect your opinion and simply enjoy spending time with you. Let me know what you think. Sorry for being so ridiculous. If I don't hear from you again, have
a lovely quarter and good luck on your exams. (:
Chloe

[Jake] in da house!
But I wish it was [jake] in da bed!
Yah, I totally want your nuts.
-Chloe

Hey [jake],
So, like oh my GoD! i tHiNk I haVe a liTtLe cRush on YoU!

[Jake],
You are my [Matt Johnson].
Don't worry, I know where you live and we'll be together eventually.
Love, Chloe
ps. I could kill you and no one would know.


Dear [Matt Johnson],
I want your nuts.
-Phoebe B.

[Matt],
I think that heaven would just be the two of us, a bubble bath, and some orange
soda. I really like orange soda. Don't worry, I'll find you.
Kisses! Phoebe

[Jake],
If you marry someone who is not me, I will hide as a midget clown among your
children's stuffed animals...
C"

Now, wasn't that lovely?


"...things are gonna get easier."
-The Five Stairsteps

Happy Birthday, Harry Potter!

Here are my current major qualms about being a girl:

1) Stretch marks....you don't even get them because you're fat...just because you happened to get taller at some point in your life. And then, THEY NEVER GO AWAY.

2) Dropping your birth control pills down the sink accidentally. What a great way to not get pregnant! The sad thing here is that I don't think most people are dumb enough to lose a pill in the three seconds between popping it out of the package and swallowing it. Plus, I'm not even sleeping with anybody, so I won't actually get knocked up.

3) Being looked at by skeezeballs when you pass by.

4) Being annoyed that you are not looked at by non-skeezeballs when you pass by.

5) Getting "hollered at" in front of your father....it's just awkward.

6) Blushing. Maybe some guys do it too, but I haven't really seen it. And the next time someone says to me "OMG, you are like sooo red right now! Do you know that?!" I will actually knife them.

7) When you have a bad day, instead of people being like, "Oh yeah, just leave him alone, he's in a bad mood," they're like, "God, why are you being a bitch? Is it that time of the month?"



Life is basically just really really hard. Not really because of that list, though, more because I have been working literally 11 hours a day on Spanish+my thesis. What makes it bearable is that for the past three nights I have watched She's the Man every night. That movie is dope shit, and if you don't think it's hysterically funny, then you can go kick rocks.





"Bobby was the first guy working on his game, even before the coaches showed up. Bobby was making me look bad. He was not only pushing himself to get better, he was pushing us to get better."

-Brandon Roy
(awww...I heart Bobby Jones. He can come back to Seattle too, as soon as the Sonics leave and Paul Allan brings B-Roy and the Trailblazers here, and then Bobby gets traded to them.)

Ann Coulter es una perra.

Wow. What do you say to someone who you haven't spoken to in 3 years? Apparently, if you are me, you write a whole lot of nonsense and you make it even more cool by putting it in a numbered list.

In the spirit of lists, here are three things that I learned today:

1) That the group Californians for Obama (or some other name like that) is actually a fundraising front for this ex-Republican (ex for about 8 months) who decided that it would be a great way to make some personal dinero. Classy. And typical.

2) Even though they say that you have until 10 pm to leave the IMA after it officially closes at 9:30, they are lying. If you try to use the weights for an extra 5 minutes after 9:30 an enormous man will come and personally kick you out. And calling him an ass-hat under your breath doesn't improve the situation.

3) Frogs can survive in horrible conditions for a long time. Mitch has this tiny frog that I Chloe and I named Moose because we misread a can of alcoholic energy drink that was on the coffee table (it was actually Joose). Moose only ever gets food when Chlose and I think of it, though, and Mitch hardly ever cleans the tank because she's so busy. The water will actuallly become really thick and develop these sheets of water mold right through the middle of the tank. But Moose is a trooper, and he was still alive as of 10 minutes ago when I went to check on him. This is amazing to me.





"Yo no creo que pueda vivir como soy ahora por mucho más tiempo."
-Mi tarea (I don't neccesarily think that my grammar is correct)

Barack and Roll

PS to my last post...Aaron is the shit and I HEART him too.

I have almost just decided to wait another year before going to law school. As in, I will begin (fingers crossed that I actually get in somewhere) in Fall 2009. I have to decide whether I want to start in 08 right now because if so, I have to take the LSAT in exactly two months, before I go to SA. It seems ridiculous to be making big life decisions on the fly and based on advise from friends, but that is my reality. And my friends are saying that I should wait to take the LSAT and take another year off. But that makes me sad because 1) then I won't be in the same year as some of my friends who might go to law school in 08, and 2) I will have lost the jump start on life that I got from going to college early.

And I have something to say about Hillary Clinton. While I admire her greatly and am very happy to have her representing NY in the Senate, I do not think that she is the uber experienced shoe-in for President that the media and so many other people treat her as. I know I am clearly biased towards Barack, but really? Was everyone else just watching another debate this week? Because Hillary hardly dominated. And if Barack supposedly displayed his inexperience in answering that he would end the US' policy of ignoring dictators in order to somehow pressure them into cooperation, then experience is not what this country needs. Hillary is too old school (in the non-coolest sense possible) and her position on the war in Iraq suggests calculation rather than anything resembling leadership.

If Barack does not win the Democratic nomination (assuming that Gore doesn't get it either) then we have once again lost.






"You know, my faith is one that admits some doubt."
-Barack Obama

Happiness is a yellow nightie.

I HEART my español class. They are adorable, except for the old one who is slightly skeezy. But, just like everything and everyone in my life, I know that I am more excited about them than they are about me. I always care more about the people I'm around than vice versa. And it's really not that I'm being emo here and complaining that nobody loves me...I just heart everyone else A LOT so things are automatically unbalanced.

Still, the few cases in my life that I can think of where someone obviously cared about me more than I cared about them were trainwrecks. I actually tend to hate it when other people seem too attached to me. Especially boys. It would probably be okay if they were the right guys, but they were oh so wrong.

And SERIOUSLY??? I have had it up to here with this neighborhood. I can understand crazy late night parties. But if the reason that I can't sleep at 2 am is because someone had the bright idea to start drilling shit in the middle of the night, then that is ridiculous and they deserve to be TP-ed or something else similarly old-fashioned and shenanigan-ish.

Speaking of ridiculous, J-Mu rolled in at midnight tonight hiccuping non-stop and only just coherent enough to not be fooled into thinking that he had stuff drawn on his face again. He yelled good-naturedly at B-hawk for awhile, gave me a two-minute lecture on getting my mind out of the gutter, and then promptly fell asleep clutching Nan Nan's pillow on the couch. I think that he is a fabulous addition to the house. Nan Nan is still my favorite thought because nobody can beat him randomly taking Whitney and me out to dessert in our pajamas at midnight just to make us feel better.





"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."
-Senator Douglas, Congressional Record (1957 Civil Rights Act debate) quoting Anatole France's The Red Lily in response to the argument that "Negroes can challenge the voting rights of whites too."

Flu, Hurt, Pain, Ache, Sick

I feel awful. It's especialmente triste because I did this to myself. I stopped eating for periods of 8 hours on Monday and Tuesday because I was in class and then in the library. See, I'm actually sacrificing my body for my thesis and my español. Now there is no going back. I have to finish it in time.

In other news, I have reverted to sleeping with a teddy bear. Sondra to be exact. Just while I'm sick. It's my replacement for someone actually taking care of me. I hate growing up.

And the Indian one got dumped by the girlfriend of four months that I did not know he had. I am obviously a great friend. Even B-hawk knew. I choose to believe that's because he is also a boy and not because he is a better person than me.






"Females have victim complexes."
-Nicholas (hombre en mi español clase)

Su esposa es Jackie O.

Tonight's shenanigans are going to make tomorrow's espanol clase hell. Anyone could've seen that going over to Stephan's house for "10-minute flip cup" was going to devolve into a several hour long stint that left me too tipsy to sleep and instead raring to go for Grey's Anatomy. It's all well and good, though because come next year I will have no friends and nothing but memories to keep me sane. I'm not being pessimistic. I know how this will go down. The same way Baltimore went down last summer. I had nobody but mis padres y mi hermana to keep me company and for some reason they are just not enough anymore. Yes, when I leave next year I will still have the friends that I have left behind, but even Chloe, who like J-Mu says is my "bfff" will not be able to keep me from lonely self-destructiveness across continents. And even though he will be there, Josh, like every boy I've ever liked, is not dependable at all and so he is actually negative points in the keeping me happy equation.

The list of boys I have liked is shady at best. I have a type that has no physical requirements or correlations at all. Instead my typical crush/boyfriend is roughly equivalent to the character of Alex on Grey's Anatomy. Not to be a television nerd, but there it is. I tend to like cocky, inconsiderate guys. I am oh so open to liking other people to, but those are the ones who pop into my head unannounced, and no other guys seem to have much interest, excluding the dance-with-you-and-then-hit-on-you-at-a-party type that I just cannot seem to humor.

And now I can hear birds, and the sun is coming up, and the drunk boys next-door still won't shut up. And all I want is to have fun this summer without already being depressed about how lonely and forgotten I will be next year. And I miss mi favorito amigo who I just can't handle anymore. Am I a bitch? Probably. But I'm just trying to protect myself. Because nobody else is going to but me.