I am probably being crazy. And I feel guilty for being paranoid. And I know I am probably just paranoid anyway because I am feeling guilty for being here instead of there today. But what if I am right and something is wrong.
I do not know what to do.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Mi Hermanita
"I don't think you're vain, I just think that you're blown away by your own beauty."
-my sister
She's pretty funny when she isn't yelling at me. Must be because she's the youngest.
-my sister
She's pretty funny when she isn't yelling at me. Must be because she's the youngest.
Shake it Up
But not in a Cars way. This is in a bad way. As in I can't shake the feeling that something is going on with Josh. He hasn't emailed in a long time (for us) and I don't know what is going on. I feel like there is a 33.3% chance that he is mad at me, a 33.3% chance that he is just too busy or didn't have enough airtime to email, and a 33.3% chance that an ex is distracting him. I am most worried about the latter, because I think that even if he has had contact with an ex recently, he won't tell me about it, because he thinks that I will freak out even if it isn't bad. I won't freak out, I just want to know whats going on so that I don't have to be paranoid that something bad is actually going on.
I feel so alone in Baltimore. Things are not exactly going well with my family. And I have nobody else here but them. Everyone else that I know is oh so far away from the pit of humidity that is this city.
Its no wonder that I am so into tv shows these days. Watching the characters in shows has become my replacement for actual interaction with friends. I know that that level of dependency on vicarious living is sad. But at least I am not in denial about it.
Plus I am realizing that I am much more able to survive independently than I thought. I haven't been having any sort of trouble living here alone...even when my family is mad at me. Yes, it makes me sad, and inspires the whole tv characters playing the role of friends debacle, but I am really quite fine. It doesn't take effort for me to survive in Baltimore like it used to. I used to count down the days until I got to go back to Seattle. I counted down a whole summer's worth of days one by one. Maybe I am not doing that now since I know that I can't go back to Seattle any time soon. But still. Its progress. I count in months now.
I feel so alone in Baltimore. Things are not exactly going well with my family. And I have nobody else here but them. Everyone else that I know is oh so far away from the pit of humidity that is this city.
Its no wonder that I am so into tv shows these days. Watching the characters in shows has become my replacement for actual interaction with friends. I know that that level of dependency on vicarious living is sad. But at least I am not in denial about it.
Plus I am realizing that I am much more able to survive independently than I thought. I haven't been having any sort of trouble living here alone...even when my family is mad at me. Yes, it makes me sad, and inspires the whole tv characters playing the role of friends debacle, but I am really quite fine. It doesn't take effort for me to survive in Baltimore like it used to. I used to count down the days until I got to go back to Seattle. I counted down a whole summer's worth of days one by one. Maybe I am not doing that now since I know that I can't go back to Seattle any time soon. But still. Its progress. I count in months now.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Lean With It/Rock With It
Its okay, guys. Phil and Keely ended up dancing with each other in the end. Life is as it should be.
I got served.
Actually no. I did the serving. And I made my first tip!!!! $25, which is pretty good, I think. I knew I would be a good waitress.
Besides that I have absolutely nothing to say. My head is too filled with logic games to have room for anything else....well, anything else besides the HORROR that I am experiencing right now watching Phil of the Future. He has decided that he has a crush on some random girl, which is infuriating because everyone knows that he is supposed to end up with his friend Keely! Aaaah!
Besides that I have absolutely nothing to say. My head is too filled with logic games to have room for anything else....well, anything else besides the HORROR that I am experiencing right now watching Phil of the Future. He has decided that he has a crush on some random girl, which is infuriating because everyone knows that he is supposed to end up with his friend Keely! Aaaah!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
HelLSAT
Yup, its that bad. And although I was an absolute good girl at treating studying like a game for the first two of my prep class sessions, third time was charm in ushering me back to the ways of a lazy daydreamer.
It doesn't help my attention span that there are those incessant suck-ups in my class as per usual. They often tend to be boys (but not always as UW Statistics taught me), and they sicken me. I may be a good student but I could never even be acquaintances with those people who insist on attaching their lips to the teachers ass. Seriously. Do you think that is going to increase your LSAT score at all? No. Not even one point. It will just increase your enemy quota....something that, as a suck-up, you probably don't give a shit about anyway.
I am mildly entertained by some of the tips they give us, though. They say that whenever you have a disagreement between a female and a male in a prompt, it will generally be the male who is mistaken. Apparently you can pretty much depend on that because the LSAT has to make a concerted effort to be more "female-friendly"....or just more realistic. (: Also, if the prompt contains information about laws or legal practices, the favored one will always be the option that creates more laws, more restrictions, and basically things for lawyers to work on. Lovely.
Oh! And I am psyched that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show soon!!! She is by far my favorite news analyst and I will watch her show as religiously as I watch The Hills.
"Top 5 LSAT Faux Paus
5. Wearing War Paint: Seriously, Geronimo? This is the LSAT, not the Battle of The Little Big Horn or a high school football game. I’ve already built the test up to be far more important than it actually is. Your equating it with a bloody struggle for survival is not helping.
4. Having a Coughing Fit: I’ll excuse this one because I was the cougher in question, but in retrospect, it was certainly a faux-pas. If you were taking the LSAT this weekend in Akron, Ohio and couldn’t concentrate on the fifth section because a small Indian girl sounded like she was ready to unhinge an internal organ, I apologize.
3. Blatant Cheating: Whether searching for the experimental section, filling in bubbles past the time or scanning the work of the person next to you, there is no better way to get assaulted by a gang of Political Science majors than cheating on the LSAT. Pencils down means pencils down!
2. Over-packing: Good thing you brought eight pencils, five erasers, three extra layers of clothing, two water bottles, Kleenex, cough drops and a first aid kit. You never know what could happen. Actually, you do know what could happen–nothing! It’s a test, not a camping trip. How much could go wrong when you’re not allowed to leave the room? Here’s some advice: if the list of what you’re lugging to the test center sounds like a Christmas carol (and certainly if you are considering a partridge in a pear tree), you have over-packed.
1. Over-hyping Your Post-LSAT Plans: “Dude, this sucks. But when it’s over we’re sooo going to Mad4 and we’re going to get sooo trashed.” Clearly you’ve had to spend the past couple of weekends taking practice tests rather than hitting the bars and you’re feeling pretty insecure about it. If you’re a senior and still need to assure yourself of your own coolness during a standardized test, you need the sort of help that the Spin cannot provide."
-Amruta Godbole for the Daily Pennsylvanian
http://lamp.dailypennsylvanian.com/thespin/2006/10/03/
It doesn't help my attention span that there are those incessant suck-ups in my class as per usual. They often tend to be boys (but not always as UW Statistics taught me), and they sicken me. I may be a good student but I could never even be acquaintances with those people who insist on attaching their lips to the teachers ass. Seriously. Do you think that is going to increase your LSAT score at all? No. Not even one point. It will just increase your enemy quota....something that, as a suck-up, you probably don't give a shit about anyway.
I am mildly entertained by some of the tips they give us, though. They say that whenever you have a disagreement between a female and a male in a prompt, it will generally be the male who is mistaken. Apparently you can pretty much depend on that because the LSAT has to make a concerted effort to be more "female-friendly"....or just more realistic. (: Also, if the prompt contains information about laws or legal practices, the favored one will always be the option that creates more laws, more restrictions, and basically things for lawyers to work on. Lovely.
Oh! And I am psyched that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show soon!!! She is by far my favorite news analyst and I will watch her show as religiously as I watch The Hills.
"Top 5 LSAT Faux Paus
5. Wearing War Paint: Seriously, Geronimo? This is the LSAT, not the Battle of The Little Big Horn or a high school football game. I’ve already built the test up to be far more important than it actually is. Your equating it with a bloody struggle for survival is not helping.
4. Having a Coughing Fit: I’ll excuse this one because I was the cougher in question, but in retrospect, it was certainly a faux-pas. If you were taking the LSAT this weekend in Akron, Ohio and couldn’t concentrate on the fifth section because a small Indian girl sounded like she was ready to unhinge an internal organ, I apologize.
3. Blatant Cheating: Whether searching for the experimental section, filling in bubbles past the time or scanning the work of the person next to you, there is no better way to get assaulted by a gang of Political Science majors than cheating on the LSAT. Pencils down means pencils down!
2. Over-packing: Good thing you brought eight pencils, five erasers, three extra layers of clothing, two water bottles, Kleenex, cough drops and a first aid kit. You never know what could happen. Actually, you do know what could happen–nothing! It’s a test, not a camping trip. How much could go wrong when you’re not allowed to leave the room? Here’s some advice: if the list of what you’re lugging to the test center sounds like a Christmas carol (and certainly if you are considering a partridge in a pear tree), you have over-packed.
1. Over-hyping Your Post-LSAT Plans: “Dude, this sucks. But when it’s over we’re sooo going to Mad4 and we’re going to get sooo trashed.” Clearly you’ve had to spend the past couple of weekends taking practice tests rather than hitting the bars and you’re feeling pretty insecure about it. If you’re a senior and still need to assure yourself of your own coolness during a standardized test, you need the sort of help that the Spin cannot provide."
-Amruta Godbole for the Daily Pennsylvanian
http://lamp.dailypennsylvanian.com/thespin/2006/10/03/
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Bubble Girl
It's ridiculous how awkward I am. I know that I will be a completely kicking waitress. I will be so attentive and endlessly friendly. I have absolutely no qualms about being helpful and outgoing when it comes to serving people and talking to them briefly and everything. So, how is it that I cannot handle meeting people and socializing and fitting in. There is so much standing around time at the restaurant and since I am in training and have nothing really to do, I stick out like a sore thumb. The wait staff are constantly talking and joking around and I just stand there. I need to freaking get it together if I am going to have a life that is not surrounded by Ramona Quimby awkwardness.
Argh! Why do I suck so much with new people? I just want everyone in my life to be familiar already.
"I wanted to be a ballerina. I changed my mind."
-Beverly Cleary
Argh! Why do I suck so much with new people? I just want everyone in my life to be familiar already.
"I wanted to be a ballerina. I changed my mind."
-Beverly Cleary
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