Mmmm.

There is nothing worse than looking for reassurance and being met with tempered analysis.

Only in this family... 2d Ed.

Me: "What's that on the tip of your nose?"
The Madre: "It might be Almond Roca."

Me: "If I eat that chicken it will make me feel sick."
The Madre: "So eat some shrimp or bread or sour patch kids." And, "don't neglect to notice the olives I got you."


Dad on a rampage...
Accidentally shutting of the computer: "DARN IT! There goes my facebook upload. Get this toilet paper off the table! Toilet paper, nail clippers, what is this? Who hacked into this chicken?? Did someone eat this?"

Pop Music Fail

It is so not a good thing when you hear your little sister sing "Let's get drunk and forget what we did."

T-Pain is the proximate cause of that good girl gone bad.

Only in this family...

Yoster: "Dang it, the chocolate I got on the computer melted."

Oster: "Yeah, I hate it when that happens. At least it's not peanut butter this time."

Anti-Arizona Charlie's and Obama Man

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/dec/29/police-half-naked-fabulous-sign-vandal-was-protest/

...Because when you want to really make a statement, its always best to wear a "protest barrel".

Jailhouse Crafts

Martha Stewart has tips on the inside of Dove chocolates now. Things like "Use old woven scarves to make Christmas stockings." First of all, that is an inane tip. Second, I don't want to be thinking about chores when I am indulging in chocolate. Third, if I am eating these holiday chocolates on Christmas you can bet I am not going to whip out a new stocking ahora pronto pronto. And fourth, I would rather be reading interesting tidbits like "If you are in prison, have your people bake you a cake with shiv materials hidden inside a la Money pudding." (Shout out to Gma.)




PS- I would rather spend a night with Martha than go back to PalAl on Sunday, and that is a scary thought.

Family Fun...NOT

You know those movies that you think are great slash really want to see, and you rep them to everyone and your sister....and then you sit down and watch it with your sister/mother/FATHER and all of a sudden you realize that what was seemingly harmless before now looks like incestuous porn? Its a terrible experience that everyone should avoid. Trying to look bored and unamused for your family while watching two actors raucously getting it on is not an easy feat. I am pretty sure I generally miss the mark and end up doing a constipated Chris Matthews impression instead.

Anyway, be forewarned that seeing the following with your parental unit et al may or may not be a moderate debacle (if you are as awk as me)....
- We Own the Night...trust me, Eva Mendez getting herself off is NOT HOT when you're with your dad. .
- Up in the Air...slightly blushworthy
- Borat...not a good idea
- Bruno...Enough said. I would rather be smacked in the face with his junk than have to watch it fly around the screen while sitting next to my parents.
- One episode of the Tudors...if you saw it, you know the one



In other news, I thought I would be less of a hot mess if I got away from law school for awhile, but so far its an epic fail. Yesterday I spilled evaporated milk all over my fuggs. Today I spilled whole milk all over my fuggs (and the entire floor). I am also pretty sure that I broke my toe. A bird spit red berry goo into my sweatshirt hood. My sister projectile vomited all over my blanket. I dumped my coffee on the carpet. Roo went buckwild and razed my pointer finger. And I have a inexplicable bruise on my leg that is the size of a small orange. I mean, wtfuck! Can't I catch a break? ...Cobra Starship, take me away...