"Yo ho ho and a rocket propelled grenade."

That is apparently a quote from Jeannie's 50 page thesis. It is there to remind me that I have not started the bit where I actually write mine down on paper, and thus am probably screwed. Fuck.

Instead of lighting a much needed fire under my ass, this compels me to share with you something that I have been channelling a bit of time and effort into in lieu of my thesis: a compilation of the few people who I would marry on the spot if they proposed to me.

1) Jon Stewart: The man is a God. I would have the most hilarious children ever. And he's good looking, albeit a frat boy. Not ex-frat boy, though, because once a frat boy, always a frat boy. (Lol, Strom Thurmond!)

2) Zach Braff: Anyone who wrote, directed and starred in Garden State, all without appearing in any way a megalomaniac, can be a permanent part of my life for sure. Besides. That is one of the sweetest, most adorable and sincere movies ever.

3) Barack Obama: And I will be First Lady.

These are actually all I can think of for now. I'm not thaaat easy to please. I'm actually not exaggerating, though. I, like most UW girls, would be fine with any one out of those three. And nothing less. Ha! Plus, I would make bank, which is why this is a more worthwhile use of my time than writing my "How conservatives in Congress decided to start the War on Crime in order to criminalize the Civil Rights Movement and its beneficiaries" paper, which will fully earn me an H on my transcript and nothing more than that...except for a few sheets of feedback with which to pad the box I will be living in for the rest of my life.


Party tomorrow night. I suppose it will be fun. I'm really just excited at the opportunity to beat Jack and Stephen in another Girls Against Boys Flip Cup Championship. It is on. But I will be oh so devastated if Momo and I lose this time after last week's triumph. I'll have to make sure that she is ready. We both drink reeeaaally slow, but it all works out because neither Jack nor Stephen can flip for shit.






"Last night we had Carol Moseley Braun on the program. She's explaining to me why she should be the next president of the United States. I get home that night, check the Internet, and she dropped out of the race.... My guess is this whole presidential run was a ruse to get on this program. Gore did the same thing."
-Jon Stewart