Bitch and a half.

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Small emotional crisis RIGHT NOW!

I hate endings so much. I never understand it. I look forward to the end of the quarter so much because I get so overloaded, especially when I work plus take 20 credits, that I would decombust if it dragged on too long. And then its all over, and its a relief, even though I always wish I had studied harder, edited more and showed up to class on time. But after fully 30 MINUTES of relief, I get depressed. I hate ending things. Even hard things like game theory. And how am I supposed to enjoy Spring Break when it is THE LAST SPRING BREAK OF MY LIFE!!! Where has my life gone??? I am only 19. That's the same age as some COLLEGE FRESHMAN!!!! Who decided that I should have to graduate and lose all my friends and move away to who knows where and be lonely and stressed out this early in my life? Oh, wait that was me at 16 deciding to FUCKING GO TO COLLEGE! I can't just leave my UW bubble this early? I'm not mature enough for this. [insert mom from the Parent Trap voice right there]

I am SO concerned.

I like college.

It's not fair.

What will I do with my life....as in like NEXT YEAR!!! Don't lie, I know I won't be able to be BFF with my friends who are friends right now. It doesn't work like that when you are NOT IN THE SAME COUNTRY AS THEM! And, yes, I'm excited about the prospect of going to South Africa and braving the risk of getting raped by a random person who has a 1 in 4 chance of having AIDS and higher considering the people who are rapists probably are more likely to have contracted HIV during their sexploits. But, I'm excited for the future me to do that one day. As in one day when I'm at least 21 years old, maybe. And maybe I will just curl up in my lovely Pink House that other people are trying to rent for next year. BOO!!! You won't throw as good parties as us, just because you are getting a good party house. Good parties will LEAVE as soon as I leave this University.

And what if I don't get into an excellent law school. I can't HANDLE mediocrity.

God help me. I think I am destined for sadness, disappointment, and everything in the end of the middle of a Jane Austen novel. Except that I won't have a happy ending that ends in love because NOBODY LOVES ME THAT I AM INTERESTED IN BECAUSE I AM A DORK AND MY LIFE IS ENDING WHEN I LEAVE COLLEGE, BECAUSE WHAT IS THERE LEFT TO DO????? I don't know!!! I need a plan. And you know what?! Joshua Johnson does NOT count as a plan. That is some off limits shit that we are not even going to go into right now. We never can again, actually, because Olive was the only one who ever understood that clusterfuck of a 6-year shenangigan. What am I going to do?

Apparently I'm destined for motherhood, because I'm a Cancer...but wait, you need a FUCKING PARTNER for that (pun intended, bitches). WhatEVER.


What is happening in my life???? Damn it. Why are all my friends gone for Spring Break already or still in finals. I need hardcore distraction. March Madness would suffice, except for the fact that the Huskies didn't even make it into the NCAA tournament on the bubble. My life has become so meaningless.

Hmmm. Duke is on. But I don't even like watching theeeem anymore because they're not fun to hate since JJ "panties in a permanent knot" Reddick isn't there to whine and drain 3's anymore.



Oh fabulous. UCLA is on and it might all work out. I can be bohemian next year, right? Pac-10 represent. THis East Coast bias is bullshit, and I feel like this is our year to prove ourselves even if the Huskies won't have our chance at the Final Four.



"Ending a relationship with a Cancer is like giving up your baby for adoption."
...I'm not talking about boy/girl-relationships, but everything from friendships to my relationship with game theory.