I can't remember the last time I was this sick. It's scary to me when I cough and it feels like there is fully a half-cup of liquid in my lungs. And it burns so much when I try to get it out.
Last night I woke up shaking from a nightmare that wouldn't seem scary to anybody but me. And even once I was awake, I thought that Olive (or rather, her ghost) was in my room. It was a full minute before I could get myself to look over my comforter and confirm that the thing by the door was in fact my Japanese lantern, and not the spirit of my dead best friend.
And on that note, Lord of the Rings made me cry tonight. It wasn't at any of the traditional sad parts either. At the end of the first movie, after Sam catches up to Frodo who was intending to set out alone, Frodo turns to Sam and says "Sam, I am glad that you are with me." It's very lovely and the whole point is that Frodo and Sam are meant to be on this journey together. Well, it made me sad. Because sometimes things just don't work out. And what are you supposed to do if the way things were meant to be is not how they ended up?
"Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance.
Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends."
-Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
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