"Mess with me and you mess with the entire trailer park."

I knew that we had finally hit a southern state yesterday when we stopped for lunch and the people at Subway took a full 20 minutes to make two sandwiches for us. I swear to God, its faster in the HUB...and there, you have to wait in a 10 person line before you can even order.

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has been a bundle of fun. I don't actually particularly like the place, and I like the people here even less, but it turns out that the older I get, the more I appreciate the hilarity that is my mother, father and sister. Today, after having breakfast at the crack of noon, during which I was called "darlin" more times than I have ever been called it before put together, we jetted off to a sort of outdoor mall/kid-attraction development. The kind of thing that reminds you of Wild Waves with all of its have-fun-in-a-super-fake-place glory. The best part was when we went into one of those beyond hokey t-shirt stores that have literally hundreds of shirts saying things like "Facebook friend request reject" and "I couldn't figure out why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then...it hit me." The fabulous part was that my dad bought me one of the most ridiculous ones under the condition that I would actually wear it around campus. I'm pretty much psyched about it.

Funniest family moment: after leaving a candy store my mother mentions that they had free fudge samples and my sister gasps and charges headlong back into the store to claim hers. As soon as my dad registers the conversation and realizes that he is missing out on a free fudge nugget he turns around and follows my sister back into the store at a full-on jog, knocking aside two members of the enormous cheerleading convention that is apparently in town who were exiting. When he came back outside to find me on the ground after snorting my fudge and spitting it all over the ground laughing at him, he defended himself with "Those cheerleaders were clearly confused about which way they were going, so I was just helping them to the side of the walkway."

Next we played the most excellent game of miniature golf that I have ever engaged in. The course was a piece of waterfall-covered, island extravagance, complete with sea monsters in the water and different levels that all the holes were on. On the highest level you could see out far over the water. In my last 8 shots I got a hole-in-one every other time too, which made the entire experience even more noteworthy. Usually, my golf skills are only as good as Dick Cheney is congeneal. And, to top it all off, playing golf in South Carolina holds special significance because SC was the location of the first game of golf in the United States. Booyakasha.


What's weird, though, is that I've seen a maximum of 10 black people since we passed Virginia, not counting my dad. I thought there were supposed to be a lot of African'Americans in the South. Although, granted, if I were fully black, I would NOT be living in a place where the Confederate flag can be seen flying even more often than the American flag (which is nearly everywhere).







“And I want to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there’s not enough troops in the Army to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the nigger race into our theatres, into our swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches.”
-Strom Thurmond, July 17, 1948
Lovely man, produced by the great state of South Carolina, and representing them in the U.S. Senate from '54 to 2003.