Chloe just gave me an impromptu head/neck/face massage and suddenly everything is right in my world. It's amazing how small you feel when someone touches the top of your head. But it can be in a good way. Sometimes I need to feel like I am very little and that if things don't work out the way I want them to, it's too bad and all, but it's not my fault and so I shouldn't worry too much about things that are beyond my control in life. Mmmm, zen.
B-hawk gave me his candle tonight that smells like boy. I feel weird burning it in my very girl room, but I think I will anyway because it's yuuuuummy. Fuck anyone who thinks I am silly. I will tell them that we traded room smells for awhile....after all, he took my Walk on the Beach candle in exchange.
For the first time this past Tuesday one of those surprising reaction-type thougts popped into my head during class. This one girl was speaking very partonizingly and without even consciously formulating anything I thought very forcefully "I hate you so much." And I was serious. I am the type of person that overuses the word hate quite copiously, but I have only been serious about hating someone once in my whole life, I am pretty sure. Apparently this girl in my class just triggers a gut reaction in me that is made up of some of the most potent dislike that I have ever felt.
"Oohhh child, things are gonna get easier. Oohh child, things'll get brighter. Oohh child, things are gonna get easier. Oohh, when the world is much lighter."
-The Five Stairsteps
(might not be exactly the right lyrics, but that's what I've always heard when I listen to that song.)
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