TMI

No complaints about this, because I am giving a very clear heads up about the following overshare.....


I got a horrible horrible horrible thing called a UTI. And the thought of it "relapsing" like all my online medical consultants warn about makes me writhe in fear. I have never ever been so constantly uncomfortable and in pain ever in my life. And, again, I don't mean to be gross, but I am still shocked at the fact that my pee was literally as dark red as the cranberry juice that I was drinking. And ironically cranberry juice can help treat and prevent UTI's but can also cause you to get kidney stones...how much of an abdominal bitch is that?! Anyhow, here is my personal public service announcement for the week: DRINK WATER ALL DAY LONG, WIPE FROM FRONT TO BACK, AND USE THE BATHROOM AFTER SEX OR YOU WILL EXPERIENCE EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

In other diary-ish news, josh got an sms (aka text message) from his ex tonight that said, "I was, like, looking at our matric ball pictures and missing you, like, so much. I know you said that you didn't want to get back together, though and that you wish me and my boyfriend well." Pointless Angelina Jolie bullshit. I may or may not have added the like's, but that is how I hear her prissy little voice in my head. Plus, she just needs to back off. She already asked Josh whether he would get back together with her if she broke up with her boyfriend (she and Josh have been broken up for 2 years now), and he told her no, so the repetition is unnecessary and skanky sounding. I know I don't really have a right to be mad because she doesn't know about me (for obvious secrecy reasons), but still...and I would hate to be her poor, clueless, sloppy seconds boyfriend. Oh, and if you think that I am pre-emptively judging her, I'm not. I know for certain she is on par with Paris Hilton on the skankiness-scale and here is one piece of evidence attesting to her whoroyalty:

A couple of months ago she wanted to know any and all of the gossip from Josh's life so, instead of asking him or facebook-stalking like a sane person, she went to his friend who told her that he would give her all the dirt on Josh if she sent him nude pictures of herself. Being the upstanding seventh day adventist that she is, she e-mailed him the pictures. Then, she had the gall to go and freak out to Josh and beg him to save her (digital) ass when the friend threatened to post the pictures on the internet. Puh-leaze.

*Sigh* It's so comforting to know that girls are willing to take their clothes off simply to hear gossip about your boyfriend. I trust him completely, but I would seriously be pleased to hear if this girl got herself some sort of g-rated hobby that would keep her g-strings far far away from Josh and Josh's scheming, ass-hat friend.

The Final Countdown

...whoops, I meant the Final Solution. That's what I was buried in today. I read an entire book on Himmler, but I don't really think it helped all that much. Too much detail, too little point making. I really just want a little bundle of arguments handed to me that I can disect in my paper without having to sort through silly things like dates and places and names.

Going to Ratanga Junction bright and early tomorrow. Yesssss. I am stoked like an elementary schooler. It's not Disneyland, but it still has log rides that take you off big drops, which is want I want and need, oh baby oh baby. Josh is supposed to come with as well, but he's not answering his fucking phone so I can't tell him when to be ready. I am betting he is not picking up because I didn't call until 7:30 today. Whatever. He said that he would send me a please call during the day and I would call him then, but he never did. And then I told him I would call back after dinner. Well its 10:30 so its after dinner. If he is in a mood because he thinks he had to wait too long, then that's bullshit. He better just be telepathic and know to be ready at 9 am sharp tomorrow. Grrrrrr. Being ignored is worse than being yelled at. I hate it with the firey fury of a thousand suns.








“Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.”
-Wlat Disney

Tattoo, my ass

Wrote an essay today. Yeehaw! I love when I can just methodically whip it out like that and then be done in under two hours. It's rare though, because I have an issue with being incessantly wordy. I don't think I have ever turned anything in that wasn't so far over the page limit that I had to do royal formatting cheating to make it look semi-legit.

Then I was roped into a game of Settlers (Risk for hippies...no war or invasions, just staking claim on land and building houses with "resources") with la familia. That dice was rigged though, I swear. Mojo and I had to resort to a slave chorus version of Swing Low Sweet Chariot just to keep on trekking. My mother tried to join in but was kicked out of the under-oppression club because that damn dice was benefitting her too much to roll in the hood with us.

Next on the agenda for this lovely holiday was the cinematic genius that is The Skulls II. Thank God for Joshua Jackson look-alikes and lots of half-naked women. I could see my parental unit holding their joint breath at all the nude scenes, and my little sis looking away out of guilt. Mwahaha. PG movies here are allowed to contain nudity apparentally.

And Josh wants a Blade tattoo. How whack is that? It might be kind of hot, but at the end of the day it would still be a Blade tattoo and I would be dating a Wesley Snipes wannabe. Hmph.










Mom: "Now let's turn all the lights off and watch The Skulls II by flickering candlelight."
Sis: "No, I can't handle any more sadness tonight after playing that game."
Mom: "It's not sadness, it's fear."

The Free State=free to be a skanky racist biatch

In the spirit of US expansionism I have moved to the second-world to stake my claim on the land. And in the spirit of big-d Democratic-ness I have decided to blend in as much as possible by becoming a South African citizen. Yay for multi-nationalism! And in the spirit of education, I will de-bunk some myths about South Africa:

1) No there are not lions roaming the streets, not in South Africa at least. However, I do have to say that I am shocked by the number of livestock I see right off of the Cape Town free ways. And not in fields or anything like that...I am talking about horses tied to railings next to the gutters right in the middle of the city. To be fair to the exotic-ness of the city, though, there are also zebras grazing right at the foot of Table Mountain, which is picturesque like whoa.

2) Everyone is not black here. There are essentially three divisions of race: white, black, and mixed. Mixed being mainly colored people, but also including Indians and Asians. However, being colored in South Africa is kind of like being an Eastern European plundered by the Nazis...your life was hugely handicapped by apartheid, but you weren't the main victim so by now everyone has forgotten about you. There are all kinds of Affirmative Action programs in this country ranging from positive to absurd, but none that I have heard of address any kind of oppression that mixed race people experienced. That is fine, I suppose. The government can't even ger running water to blacks whose houses were methodically bulldozed under the apartheid Group Areas Act, so they should come first in any expenditure of money. All I'm saying is that it's tough to be disdained by blacks for getting less horrible treatment under apartheid, and still hated by the same whites who oppressed you under apartheid. Colored is the forgotten race here.

3) Racism did not disappear with the election of President Mandela in 1994. Racism is still rampant. At least in certain neo-nazi-ish enclaves throughout the country. The University of the Free State is only just implementing a plan to integrate their residence halls. How whack is that? And its being protested by all the creepy children of apartheid-missing Afrikaners who say that having to share a dorm with blacks is the apocalypse. Not only that but they're protesting by making sick little videos where they force the black cleaning staff to drink soup that they allegedly "pretended" to pee in. Give me a fucking break. If you want to be racist in peace, start your own University and don't whine to the public one about having to come into contact with *gasp* people who aren't white. Not to be a social darwinist here, but if the Afrikaner culture continues to stake their survival on a giant effort to turn back the integration clock, they will fast become a dying breed. Welcome to the 21st century, bitches.






"Why don't they sort out Zimbabwe instead? [...] This reminds me of 1994 and before, when we, the Afrikaaners, were blamed for everything by the whole world."
-Christo Dippenaar, head of the dorm where the urine drinking integration protest video was filmed, on why too much attention is being paid to the incident

Screw ROTC Boys (not literally)

Since my life is so Little House on the Prairie right now, I am getting my drama fix from family gossip. The latest news is that my uncle--my dad's 40ish year-old cousin, technically--whose wife left him about a year ago, met a 26 year-old Ukrainian women online. She is apparently slotted to fill the void left in his life and to play a starring role in the 9-Month Plan that he has concocted (aka "Find a New Wife in 9 Months Plan"). She is coming to South Africa to visit in a month or so...with the help of his money I am sure, and if they are still happy with eachother after that she will come for good. I don't think there will be any deal-breaking fights while she is visiting since she doesn't speak English and he doesn't speak Ukrainian, so basically I see a Russian--whoops I mean Ukrainian--mail-order bride aunt in my future.

Hmmm. This little bit of gossipy nonsense is the only thing interesting in my life right now. I'm re-reading The Bourne Identity which I like to think lends me some sort of street cred. Or at least a way to live vicariously through Matt Damon's fake life.

And, oh my gosh, is it lame that I really adore the new Cadillac commercial with Addison from Grey's Anatomy slash Private Practice? That and the Old Navy Sweater commercial with the song from Rent and that yummy boy who looks like the kid who was in my advanced macro class a year ago. I don't know why I never flirted more with him. He always seemed interested, but the ROTC guys used to take over conversations and the chairs next to us in class. I don't mean to sound arrogant, I really don't think that I am remotely alluring or attractive, but in econ classes, I made up roughly 30 to 50% of the female population--often 100% of the non-asian female population--which made me much more of a hot commodity. In any case. That kid was hot, studious, and if I ran into him again, I would probably still secretly want him. Or not so secretly if I wasn't such a silly little girl.



For the record, as a student of political theory, I do think the military is a necessary institution for any autonomous state even though I am a pacifist. And ROTC kids are just fine...the above title is merely an expression of me resenting their cockblocking in Econ class. [In case any nosy Ed Murray-esque characters are monitoring my blog in search of reasons to give me further unwarranted tongue-lashings about nonsense. I haven't forgotten that, and will always consider the esteemed Senator that much closer to GW. As close as any homosexual Democratic politician from Seattle could be, that is. Actually, I think I may have compared him to Nixon in the blog entry that he nearly had an aneurysm about. Which, in retrospect turned out to be a fairly apt comparison when you consider his heated paranoia and response to my critique of him to my audience of a very very few. I don't think you can even find my blog through Google. Regardless, I think I have covered my back since then in terms of not making statements that I could be verbally bitch-slapped for. It is not every day that a State Senator calls you an asshole. And I would like to keep that memory special by making sure that it is not made dull by repetition.]
















"I am not sure if the author was one of the people who visited my in Olympia? If so I don’t believe we were in the same meeting. I did not bitch about students not voting. I did share a concern about low voter turn out in the U district. We then had a discussion about if democratic students should register in the very democratic 43rd or if they came from a suburban republican leaning district if they should register there. I also did not say students opinions don’t matter. I think my record of meeting with UW students over the years can not be matched by other legislators. In addition I have hired as legislative staff and campaign staff students I have met as a result of those meetings. Finally I did not say I wanted to level husky stadium and mentioned I attended football games in the stadium. Again I have a long record of attempting to find a solution to the SR520 problem for all of us who live, work and study on the Seattle side of the lake.
So I don’t mind being considered an asshole, I just think when you make up comments I did not say you are also being an asshole."
-Senator Ed Murray in response to my dramatized rant below (and for the record, everything I said was true, though I believe Mr. Pedersen was the only one guilty of making the naive suggestion of leveling Husky Stadium. And as for the reference I made to coke-railing Richard Nixons, well it was a bit strong I admit, but it was a comparison and was by no means libelous)....

"It's too bad that Jamie Pedersen and Ed Murray are such assholes. Please, guys. If you are going to bitch about students not voting to the few students who are...the same ones who are running the voting drives and working on your campaigns, and THEN tell us that our opinions don't matter because students as a whole don't vote, that's bullshit. You should probably rethink why you are a Democrat, because unlike Republicans, you are supposed to listen to all of your constituents. And, I'm really very sorry, but you are off your rocker if you think that anyone will let you get away with leveling Husky Stadium to make room for a new 520 off-ramp. Honestly, when I talk to those two muffins, I feel like I'm sitting in a room with two coke-railing Richard Nixons.





"One vote is worth a hundred obscene slogans."
-Richard Nixon"

Forbidden Fruit

I was thinking about my worst nightmare tonight when I was walking the dog by the psuedo-mansions just up the hill from my house. Unlike Chloe, my worst nightmare is definitely not a zombie infiltration. She says that the day she sees a headline declaring "The Dead Walk", she will shoot herself. I will just buy some spanky pants and a thigh holster, so I can run around on a killing spree ala Mila Jovavich. Although I was the one who freaked out and started crying last Halloween when a hundred or so zombies came into the QFC on their annual Zombie Walk, I maintain that had I been wearing spanky pants and toting a bazooka I would have been just fine. In any case, my worst nightmare would be the apocalypse. The biblical one, not the movie. This is because, even if you die by zombies or other horrific things, you still have hope of heaven or whatever afterlife you happen to believe in. If you're left behind in the apocalypse, maybe your chances of heaven are gone, in addition to the fact that a portion of your friends and family have disappeared forever.

Speaking of zombies, I have discovered that tragically, there is no Halloween in South Africa. Not even one night, much less four, which is what I became accustomed to in college. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but mi hermana and I have charged ourselves with bringing at least one night of the holiday to el pais de Mandela. We're throwing a birthday slash Halloween party as soon as we get there (my sister's birthday is on Nov. 2nd)...costumes mandatory, of course. We already have a fabulous theme for the costumes for the four of us worked out. We will be different characters, each themed around an object....an apple. My sis and I will be Snow White and Eve (we haven't worked out which for each of us yet), my dad will be Steve Jobs or an iPod or apple computer, and my mom will be Aphrodite (whose symbol is the apple). I'm hoping that I can convince my grandfather to be Isaac Newton. We will each carry a shiny red apple too. It's perfect and I am quite pleased with our ingenuity.




"Hey Chief, come on over here. Do you see this candy?...Look closely one wrapper is already opened and the other has no candy in it. Don't be so distracted, you have to focus, man! I will let this go this time, but next time I come here, you really must be more on top of things."
5 minutes later: "And why do you not want to bring us milk for our tea??"
-my South African uncle to the waiter

Grey's Anatomy blah blah blah

I love Grey's Anatomy. A lot of shows make me feel bad about my life because the shows are so picture perfect that I feel unfulfilled when I turn off the tv. But everyone in Grey's Anatomy is dark and twisty, so when good things happen to them, it gives me hope instead of giving me something to live up to.

And Izzy is exactly me, which I like because I feel like if good things happen to her, they can happen to me probably eventually. I am not blond and gorgeous, of course. But I am so exactly like her that it is funny. Even Chloe saw it.

I realized my main problem regarding boys. When I like someone, it isn't an afterthought it is a biiig deal, and it almost consumes me. That's not what I try to do, it's just what happens. It's more exciting I think than when most people get a crush on someone, but it's also more dramatic in a bad way. And then when I look at whoever I like I can't see anything but the good about them. If they're not that cute, I don't notice. If they are too emo, I call them in touch with their feelings. And if they make me sad too often, I get mad at them, but I blame myself. And then, once I have spent a lot a lot of time with them, I start seeing the flaws that I overlooked before and it shocks me and I wonder who the hell they are, because what I see now is not what I signed up for. In retrospect all the guys I've liked slash gone out with have been really amazing guys. I still heart them in the yearbook sense and respect them. A lot of them do not mesh well with me, but it was my fault for putting them on a pedestal and then starting to hate them.

The only boy that I have never had that sort of crash and burn reality check with is someone who I don't even know if I liked like that. He's a friend and I think that I love him (in the sense that I love all my friends, not luvvy duvvy sense) so much that I get confused and think that if I care that much about a boy, I must want him like that. Anyway, it's a very Izzy conundrum that doesn't matter because I left Sea-town. But with this kid, I know him pretty well, and I don't see the bright and shiny him. I see the regular him, who I sometimes don't agree with, who isn't really hot, who is sometimes awkward. But I'm okay with all that and a lot of those things I appreciate about him. I wonder if I had stayed longer, if I ever really would have had feelings for him.

In any case, he's pretty ace and I hope we stay friends for a long time.

Mi padre got back from the motherland today. And given what he told me, I think there is hope that the family drama is over. Of course, now everyone is grown up, so I guess it's pretty much too late for anyone to really benefit from it. C'est la vie.



"I hoarded four Ceres juiceboxes from the flight attendents by hiding them in the lunch box they gave me and now they are in the fridge."
-my deviant father