Prude

Sometimes I feel lonelier at work when I am surrounded by tons and tons of people than I feel at home by myself. Because its always better to be sad because you have nobody to talk to in an empty room than to be sad that you have nobody to talk to when you are standing around with 8 other waiters.

Its not that I am an outcast at work or anything. Plenty of people talk to me and like me and everything. I just get left behind in conversations easily. I'm not a merciless flirt like some of the people at the restaurant which is one huge reason that I am always on the outskirts of the socializing. But I am also just quiet sometimes. However, the main problem is that everyone has this idea of what kind of person I am, and its just not me.

They all think that I am so innocent and naive. And I don't care what you say, being called naive is not a compliment. My friends have tried to convince me of this during many conversations with me bitching about being called naive again. But being called naive is ALWAYS bad. Little sisters are naive, not friends, and not even less-than-friends. Just because I am a nice person and a loyal girlfriend and I don't constantly talk about my escapades in bed, it doesn't mean that I am socially ignorant or unable to understand sexual innuendo.

Tonight the head waiter was talking about gay sex or something or other....he's always hitting on the college-age guy waiters so I'm sure it had to do with getting into one of their pairs of black standard-issue pants. And out of nowhere he goes "Ohhh, look at Phoebe, she can't understand anything we're talking about. You know I can never picture her ever doing anything sexual." Okay, so there is no way that I would ever want him to be picturing me doing anything remotely sexual....but still. Why does everyone think that I am such a freaking prude? I don't drop my pants constantly, but I'm not 7 years old.

The only person who keeps me sane at work is Paul. And I'm not even using a code name there. But don't worry, Ed Murray won't be able to track him down and blackmail him for my identity because Paul is not his first name.

Do you ever feel like asking someone if what they are going after is what they really want and not what they have convinced themselves that they should try for? It's not quite a broachable topic.

And of course, Barack has just been elected. I already wrote to him encouraging him to consider Corey Booker for a position within his administration and recommending that he get his daughters a Bernese Mountain dog.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

I LOVE Halloween. The poor citizens of South Africa do not have Halloween. I weep for them. Not really, though, because that would make my Disney mascara run. I am being a brunette version of Alice in Wonderland. I don't do blonde.

I'm so excited that I shaved my legs for the occasion. I haven't really shaved since I have been in Baltimore. There are two reasons for this. 1) I am very cold generally so my legs are rarely bare, and 2) There is nobody to impress here (and nobody who I am concerned about judging me) and so no need for silky smooth legs. It has become very clear to my parents that the only reason I shave my legs is for other people, and they are very upset. I spent all of middle school lobbying to be allowed to shave. They had outlawed it because their feminist consciences didn't want me to bowing to the social norms of society. I insisted that I wanted to shave for myself, not just to fit in. I was lying. But with good reason. Middle school is hard to begin with, and not shaving if you're a girl makes it literally ten times harder. They let me eventually. Now they are disappointed in my weakness. Thats actually fine. I don't really care. I may not be as evolved as them when it comes to embracing feminism but at least I am ahead of them when it comes to equal acceptance of homosexuals. Not that they are not accepting. They are democrats all the way and support equal rights under the law, but they don't know how they feel about the church sanctioning homosexuality. Hmph.

Yay Halloween!

Mediocrity

October LSAT scores were released. Its incredible how one morning spent on one test can affect the rest of your life so much.

Things My Mother Yells At The TV

"Why does that guy look like a beaver?!"
to CNN

"I hope that [Virginia Republican Party Chairwoman Kate Obenshain Griffin] can't sleep at night and wets the bed."
to MSNBC

"That woman is a hot piece of flank steak next to her daughter."
MTV

"Sarah Palin wants to kill all of God's creatures."
to MSNBC

"This channel has THE WORST commercials."
to Hallmark

"Doesn't Chris Matthews have someone who can cut his hair?"
to MSNBC

"How do you like Olbermann's tie, honey?"
to MSNBC

Bored?

Google "Sealand".

Squeaky clean

Went to the dentist today and the disaster that I was anticipating was miraculously averted. There was no cavity catastrophe, and upon informing the dental hygienist that I was certain my gum recession was way out of control, she assured me that my gums are not receding hardly at all. Take that! The stratagem for avoiding flossing lectures that I learned from my mother was also a raging success. She and I always start a flossing regimen roughly two weeks before any dentist appointment so that by the time we go in, our gums appear strong and well taken care-of. It's a nearly fool proof plan for avoiding unnecessary annoyance at the dentist...because I really don't need any more reasons to not come back.

Also interesting: apparently Crest is abrasive on your tooth enamel and can lead to teeth sensitivity.



"You don't smoke mushrooms, you eat them."
-my mother, instructing my sister on the "correct" way of using shrooms