I have an illness on my thumb. It is yet to be determined whether or not it is lethal. I am preparing for the worst. It sounds very odd and gross, and knowing that it is me that this is happening to makes me want to cut off my finger. If I just knew what it was maybe I would calm down, but since I don't know it seems yucky and frightening.
A couple days ago I started noticing these bumps on my thumb. You can't really see them well. They are like minuscule little air bubbles under the skin. And when I text or do anything else that puts pressure on the pad of my right thumb, I can feel them and they hurt. Like little splinters or something. But it can't be splinters because there are 12 or more of them and I would have noticed getting 12 shards of anything stuck in my hand.
Yikes!
Last night I had a full on panic attack about this disastrous development. I looked on the internet and the closest thing I could find was something called dyshidrotic dermatitis. The pictures are all a bit more extreme than my case since mine is only on my thumb and you can't see it unless you look really really hard. But the websites I looked at says that the condition is one that some people develop in their 20's or 30's either randomly or because of weather, stress, or a medication/chemical. It can start on one fingertip and spread or it can remain localized. And it can go away and never return or show up once every couple weeks for the rest of your life.
Needless to say, I am scheduling an appointment with my Jewish dermatologist pronto. He is very very intelligent and I have complete faith that he will know what to do. Until then, I am staying off of Google, and utilizing my impressive skills of distraction to avoid obsessing about my possibly fatal future regarding my thumb.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Holy Shit
A heard of frat boys just stormed by my house. Not real frat boys...Loyola boys which is basically the same thing since Loyola is a giant Greek community. I think it was ranked best-looking student body in the nation. That would be slightly exciting except for the fact that the guys there don't seem to have gotten the memo that the gel-icious duckbill hair look is out. Gross. I would never date a Loyola guy. No offense to the ones that aren't cookie cutter playboys.
In other un-newsworthy news, Ted almost got fired today. I was elated at first because when I walked in Cain, this new guy who just came back from being in Lesotho in the Peace Corps, said that my least favorite person at the restaurant was no longer employed. Ted apparently skipped his shift without notice this morning. My manager was like, "Gosh, Phoebe, what did you do to the guy?" I may or may not have told a few too many people how much I dislike Ted.
But much to my chagrin, Ted rolled in right in the middle of line-up. Everyone raised their eyebrows and casually looked busy as the manager went to ask him what happened this morning. There is a rule at the restaurant that if you skip a shift you are automatically fired, so we all held our breaths awaiting drama. Ted goes, "You know, Matt. I'm not going to lie to you. I overslept this morning."
Excuse me?! He overslept?? How can you miss your 9:30 shift by 7 hours because you overslept? He could have at least called when he did wake up. Or are we expected to believe that he woke up at 4 just in time for the second half of his double?
In any case, Matt seemed to except his apology and told him to not let it happen again. Some of the other waiters were mildly annoyed because people have gotten fired for shift-skipping in the past, so there appears to be a double standard if Ted gets to stay on. Whatever, though. I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end of his employment at the restaurant whether he knows it or not.
"Football is one sport that is better watched at home."
-Ted....what an odd thing to make a grand assertion about. Especially because I think that it is widely held that football is much more fun live with screaming crowds and face paint and cozy blankets and snacks. And if you don't like football and that is why you prefer to watch it at home away from all the football-ness, then why are you watching it anyway? Ted later admitted that he had "only ever seen one football game, like, in person". So his opinion on the matter is clearly very, like, informed.
In other un-newsworthy news, Ted almost got fired today. I was elated at first because when I walked in Cain, this new guy who just came back from being in Lesotho in the Peace Corps, said that my least favorite person at the restaurant was no longer employed. Ted apparently skipped his shift without notice this morning. My manager was like, "Gosh, Phoebe, what did you do to the guy?" I may or may not have told a few too many people how much I dislike Ted.
But much to my chagrin, Ted rolled in right in the middle of line-up. Everyone raised their eyebrows and casually looked busy as the manager went to ask him what happened this morning. There is a rule at the restaurant that if you skip a shift you are automatically fired, so we all held our breaths awaiting drama. Ted goes, "You know, Matt. I'm not going to lie to you. I overslept this morning."
Excuse me?! He overslept?? How can you miss your 9:30 shift by 7 hours because you overslept? He could have at least called when he did wake up. Or are we expected to believe that he woke up at 4 just in time for the second half of his double?
In any case, Matt seemed to except his apology and told him to not let it happen again. Some of the other waiters were mildly annoyed because people have gotten fired for shift-skipping in the past, so there appears to be a double standard if Ted gets to stay on. Whatever, though. I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end of his employment at the restaurant whether he knows it or not.
"Football is one sport that is better watched at home."
-Ted....what an odd thing to make a grand assertion about. Especially because I think that it is widely held that football is much more fun live with screaming crowds and face paint and cozy blankets and snacks. And if you don't like football and that is why you prefer to watch it at home away from all the football-ness, then why are you watching it anyway? Ted later admitted that he had "only ever seen one football game, like, in person". So his opinion on the matter is clearly very, like, informed.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Baltimoron In Chief
Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon was indicted on 12 counts today including theft and perjury. Apparently she stole gift cards people had donated to be given to children in need and gave them to her family members. Can you say heartless ho?
My father also has observed attempts at corruption filter down from her office to his. Though when she was indicted today he did make a feeble attempt to defend her saying that sometimes corrupt politicians do actually benefit their constituents through good work.
That being said, I think that it is a good thing that our Mayor seems to be heading in the direction of Blagojevich. She has always struck me as pretentious and unhelpful. She is good at filling potholes and sucking up fallen leaves in swanky neighborhoods, but while she has presided the Baltimore PD has remained out of fucking control. I also heard today that shortly after being elected Mayor she came to the restaurant with a squad of assholes and reeked havoc. She called the place racist because other tables got their food before her table (hello? other tables did not munch on plates full of appetizers). She also got someone to sleuth out the owner's home phone number so that she could ring him up and bitch him out about the manager's incompetence in front of the manager's face. To top it all off, while the manager was profusely apologizing, one of the women at the table barked "talk to the hand" like she was in Clueless or something equally hair-brained but much more enjoyable as fiction.
Plus, the guys in the kitchen seem to hate her. And as I've said before, I generally respect their opinions on all things Baltimore.
My father also has observed attempts at corruption filter down from her office to his. Though when she was indicted today he did make a feeble attempt to defend her saying that sometimes corrupt politicians do actually benefit their constituents through good work.
That being said, I think that it is a good thing that our Mayor seems to be heading in the direction of Blagojevich. She has always struck me as pretentious and unhelpful. She is good at filling potholes and sucking up fallen leaves in swanky neighborhoods, but while she has presided the Baltimore PD has remained out of fucking control. I also heard today that shortly after being elected Mayor she came to the restaurant with a squad of assholes and reeked havoc. She called the place racist because other tables got their food before her table (hello? other tables did not munch on plates full of appetizers). She also got someone to sleuth out the owner's home phone number so that she could ring him up and bitch him out about the manager's incompetence in front of the manager's face. To top it all off, while the manager was profusely apologizing, one of the women at the table barked "talk to the hand" like she was in Clueless or something equally hair-brained but much more enjoyable as fiction.
Plus, the guys in the kitchen seem to hate her. And as I've said before, I generally respect their opinions on all things Baltimore.
Things Of A Bygone Era
Gap Body scents....Dream was definitely their top seller...I think in lotion form. But there was also Heaven for the slight nonconformists, and Om had a short heydey in the older-than-middle school crowd. Mmmm. They were yummy.
Butterfly clips...Those were big like whoa. They broke so much though, and didn't hold hair well. I suppose they were mostly supposed to be ornamental.
American Girls...I have Kirstin, of course. And I never took her hair our of the gorgeous braid things because I was too enamored with the sleekness. Judging from the looks of other peoples' 10 year-old American Girl dolls' hair, I was better off leaving it. I really think that what American Girl doll you had slash wanted is quite telling too.
Mini Sephora perfumes...I gave and received those for so many birthdays. And the names were all in french so often it was a fairly normal scent like caramel or strawberry that just had an exotic sounding name. I still have some, but after years of keeping them in a cupboard they kind of all smell the same.
Beanie babies...Lines around the block for those. Enough said. I still have the "special" Princess Di one thanks to the other Stephen and his familia.
Gellie Rolls and Milky pens...Is that how they were spelled? Those pens resulted in countless hours of carefully crafted hand art, much to the displeasure of 6th grade teachers. But they would always stop working every now and then and girls would proceed to alternately shake the shit out of them and huff into them in order to make them write on skin again.
Bubble tea...Yes, its still a huge and enjoyable fad. I appreciated it more when it was a novelty though. The very very bestest flavor ever is the Pink Lady at WOW Bubble Tea on the Ave. Azns+enormo flatscreens+Christian choruses, anyone? Olive, KK and I used to laugh endlessly at that. And then we would go into the quad and spit the our leftover tapioca bubbles in the general direction of unfortunate strangers.
Dicks...Still a winner in my book.
J Crew flip flops...High school girl must-have. Plus very popular among preppy boys.
Bib overalls...All the rage among 5th grade girls. We were soooo rad.
Jellies...Also popularized by Gap. Gap kids, mainly. Recently has made it back into the mainstream now that all the 2nd graders that wore them are now in their twenties and having early adult life nostalgia crises.
Otis Spunkmeyer cookies...Again, I think my spelling has gone awry. And they qualify as a fad, more of a religion really. But most people I know haven't had them since middle school since that was the one place that they were readily available.
The Spice Girls...I always had to be Scary, which was ridiculously annoying. I do have an amazing studded camo miniskirt and a knack for putting my hair up into cone-shapes as a result though.
Fads are often annoying. But let's be honest, they are fucking fun more often than not. And very unifying...until you get to the my Abercrombie skank-top is better than your American Eagle graphic tee age.
Butterfly clips...Those were big like whoa. They broke so much though, and didn't hold hair well. I suppose they were mostly supposed to be ornamental.
American Girls...I have Kirstin, of course. And I never took her hair our of the gorgeous braid things because I was too enamored with the sleekness. Judging from the looks of other peoples' 10 year-old American Girl dolls' hair, I was better off leaving it. I really think that what American Girl doll you had slash wanted is quite telling too.
Mini Sephora perfumes...I gave and received those for so many birthdays. And the names were all in french so often it was a fairly normal scent like caramel or strawberry that just had an exotic sounding name. I still have some, but after years of keeping them in a cupboard they kind of all smell the same.
Beanie babies...Lines around the block for those. Enough said. I still have the "special" Princess Di one thanks to the other Stephen and his familia.
Gellie Rolls and Milky pens...Is that how they were spelled? Those pens resulted in countless hours of carefully crafted hand art, much to the displeasure of 6th grade teachers. But they would always stop working every now and then and girls would proceed to alternately shake the shit out of them and huff into them in order to make them write on skin again.
Bubble tea...Yes, its still a huge and enjoyable fad. I appreciated it more when it was a novelty though. The very very bestest flavor ever is the Pink Lady at WOW Bubble Tea on the Ave. Azns+enormo flatscreens+Christian choruses, anyone? Olive, KK and I used to laugh endlessly at that. And then we would go into the quad and spit the our leftover tapioca bubbles in the general direction of unfortunate strangers.
Dicks...Still a winner in my book.
J Crew flip flops...High school girl must-have. Plus very popular among preppy boys.
Bib overalls...All the rage among 5th grade girls. We were soooo rad.
Jellies...Also popularized by Gap. Gap kids, mainly. Recently has made it back into the mainstream now that all the 2nd graders that wore them are now in their twenties and having early adult life nostalgia crises.
Otis Spunkmeyer cookies...Again, I think my spelling has gone awry. And they qualify as a fad, more of a religion really. But most people I know haven't had them since middle school since that was the one place that they were readily available.
The Spice Girls...I always had to be Scary, which was ridiculously annoying. I do have an amazing studded camo miniskirt and a knack for putting my hair up into cone-shapes as a result though.
Fads are often annoying. But let's be honest, they are fucking fun more often than not. And very unifying...until you get to the my Abercrombie skank-top is better than your American Eagle graphic tee age.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Moonbounce anyone?
Restaurant work acquaints you with the craziest of people. There are the flamboyant head waiters who have a system of punishments for the busboys (hands in pocket=hug, cellphone out=booty slap), the anonymous staff people who leave their stashes in condiment cups around the restaurant...and then, there are the crazy customers.
I don't know if you remember the woman at the John McCain town hall meeting who helped seal the deal for Obama by asserting into her microphone that Barack "can't be trusted. He's, he's, he's....an Arab!" Well the woman who came in to the restaurant tonight looked remarkably similar...and turned out to be borderline certifiable as well.
First I came to take her drink order and she promptly responded with "what comes with beans in it?" I politely directed her to the Mexican entrees on the menu giving myself silent snaps for being on point. Then she wanted to know if I could convince the kitchen to make a veggie enchilada with the refried beans on the inside. I said I would do my best and prepared to move towards the kitchen but she stopped me as if to place another order. She then spent three entire minutes scouring the menu silently while I stood there. Did she want me to leave? Was I expected to wait? I compromised by staying there and nonchalantly staring at the ceiling. Finally she switched her order to a side of rice, a side of beans and a side of veggies....which at our restaurant comes to a whopping 12 bucks. I sighed in relief and scrambled away to the kitchen.
Next thing I know she follows me into the servers' station (um, boundary issues?) and changes her order back to the refried enchilada concoction. Whatever. I put it into the computer and bring her her tea.
But, after I head back to plead her case to the kitchen and succeed in getting an affirmative on the enchilada I glance out the window and see her racing down the street. Wtfuck? I go over to the table and her tea is sitting untouched. She has removed her bag but left a pair of what look like black space gloves. My manager tells me that maybe she forgot something in her car and is racing off to get it. Nope, next I see her zooming away down the street in her car.
I don't get it! If the prices were too high she could have left as soon as she saw the menu. If she didn't want the food she wouldn't have been so torn between her trio of sides and the enchilada.
Weird.
But even funnier than that was going into the kitchen only to see a foot sticking out of a metal cupboard on the floor. Reese, one of the cooks, crawled in there to hide (he pulled boxes in front of himself and everything) so that he could talk on the phone. I laughed until I got hiccups. And I still have them.
"You've got to get yourself together.
You got stuck in the moment and now you can't get out of it."
-U2
I don't know if you remember the woman at the John McCain town hall meeting who helped seal the deal for Obama by asserting into her microphone that Barack "can't be trusted. He's, he's, he's....an Arab!" Well the woman who came in to the restaurant tonight looked remarkably similar...and turned out to be borderline certifiable as well.
First I came to take her drink order and she promptly responded with "what comes with beans in it?" I politely directed her to the Mexican entrees on the menu giving myself silent snaps for being on point. Then she wanted to know if I could convince the kitchen to make a veggie enchilada with the refried beans on the inside. I said I would do my best and prepared to move towards the kitchen but she stopped me as if to place another order. She then spent three entire minutes scouring the menu silently while I stood there. Did she want me to leave? Was I expected to wait? I compromised by staying there and nonchalantly staring at the ceiling. Finally she switched her order to a side of rice, a side of beans and a side of veggies....which at our restaurant comes to a whopping 12 bucks. I sighed in relief and scrambled away to the kitchen.
Next thing I know she follows me into the servers' station (um, boundary issues?) and changes her order back to the refried enchilada concoction. Whatever. I put it into the computer and bring her her tea.
But, after I head back to plead her case to the kitchen and succeed in getting an affirmative on the enchilada I glance out the window and see her racing down the street. Wtfuck? I go over to the table and her tea is sitting untouched. She has removed her bag but left a pair of what look like black space gloves. My manager tells me that maybe she forgot something in her car and is racing off to get it. Nope, next I see her zooming away down the street in her car.
I don't get it! If the prices were too high she could have left as soon as she saw the menu. If she didn't want the food she wouldn't have been so torn between her trio of sides and the enchilada.
Weird.
But even funnier than that was going into the kitchen only to see a foot sticking out of a metal cupboard on the floor. Reese, one of the cooks, crawled in there to hide (he pulled boxes in front of himself and everything) so that he could talk on the phone. I laughed until I got hiccups. And I still have them.
"You've got to get yourself together.
You got stuck in the moment and now you can't get out of it."
-U2
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Get Busy
My mom was just sent an advertisement for a class for adults at a nearby school: How to write your own obituary. Ooh! Sign me up.
The morbid thing is that I would totally go for that. Not that class. But writing my own. If you care about the way you will be remembered, then why leave those memorable last words about you to someone else? They should hire me to advertise that class.
The kids were a hot mess today. Lots of fighting with and hitting each other. And lots of going over my head and getting their parents' approval for something that I said no to. A babysitter's worst nightmare is watching kids when the parents are still there. You are constantly being watched which is unsettling and your authority over the kids becomes minimal. I will be more pleased next time I watch the kids...I will be nannying and not babysitting because the parents won't be there to say yes to Nutella and putting together tents.
And I will be able to direct activities away from imaginary play (the 4 year-old ordering me to wake up and go to sleep and be eaten by a tiger, etc., etc) and to more interesting things like making play-do and frosting cookies and going to the Children's Museum.
I do have to remember, though, that the family really needs me and I am helping them out quite a lot now that their previous nanny quit unexpectedly during all the other chaos they are going through. Helping out is always a good thing. Plus I'm making bank.
Ooh! Chloe and I were talking about how Mitch used to randomly jet across the US to see her friends for brief periods of time when she lived with us. I think maybe I want to jet somewhere too. That would be excessive. But I can be excessive if I want to, right? Right.
"I love the get busy. It tones your abs, thighs and butt. Plus, you can do it in clubs!"
-We now have over 100 channels thanks to Direct TV...and we end up watching infomercials.
The morbid thing is that I would totally go for that. Not that class. But writing my own. If you care about the way you will be remembered, then why leave those memorable last words about you to someone else? They should hire me to advertise that class.
The kids were a hot mess today. Lots of fighting with and hitting each other. And lots of going over my head and getting their parents' approval for something that I said no to. A babysitter's worst nightmare is watching kids when the parents are still there. You are constantly being watched which is unsettling and your authority over the kids becomes minimal. I will be more pleased next time I watch the kids...I will be nannying and not babysitting because the parents won't be there to say yes to Nutella and putting together tents.
And I will be able to direct activities away from imaginary play (the 4 year-old ordering me to wake up and go to sleep and be eaten by a tiger, etc., etc) and to more interesting things like making play-do and frosting cookies and going to the Children's Museum.
I do have to remember, though, that the family really needs me and I am helping them out quite a lot now that their previous nanny quit unexpectedly during all the other chaos they are going through. Helping out is always a good thing. Plus I'm making bank.
Ooh! Chloe and I were talking about how Mitch used to randomly jet across the US to see her friends for brief periods of time when she lived with us. I think maybe I want to jet somewhere too. That would be excessive. But I can be excessive if I want to, right? Right.
"I love the get busy. It tones your abs, thighs and butt. Plus, you can do it in clubs!"
-We now have over 100 channels thanks to Direct TV...and we end up watching infomercials.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Mishmash
I am quite certain that if the institution of religion did not exist, a lot more people would be open to faith.
Even people who profess themselves to be opposed to believing in something that is by virtue unprovable. (And here I do mean unprovable, which is too often substituted with unknowable.)
Damn it. I feel like I am always on the defensive. I think that is because I always consent to arguing things on other people's terms. But that, like many have observed, is because people who disagree with faith can only argue within the field of reason. Which is fine for an argument about the affects of faith or the institution of religion. But in order to argue about faith you have to delve into a playing field that is not refereed by reason. Which is a place where people who profess themselves to be without faith generally cannot or will not go.
Do I think that I am smarter than people without faith? No. Do I think that I am more content? Perhaps. Do I think that I can understand their position on my faith and their reason for their lack thereof? Yes. Do I think that they can understand the basis for my faith, or the reasons for my confidence in my faith? Not entirely. Do I think that deep down they would like to be able to make faith compatible with their sense of reason and rationality? Definitely.
"So though we cannot know
If everything glittering
Will turn into the gold..."
-Peter Sallet, Heart of Mine
This was a perfect song choice for Olive's memorial service if I may say so myself. Keeping the Faith was on the other day, which reminded me of her...and of this song. But I can't remember what happens in the end, and whether she ends up with the pastor friend or the rabbi friend, or neither.
Today Israel bombed a UN school. Those fuckers are absolutely insane.
Aaaand, I got a package from Chloe today!!! Yay for things that are salty and sweet and silver and sparkly! I feel loved now. I will call her tonight and Emi tomorrow. I talked to Aaron last night. And then I will call Stephen maybe ummm Saturday. And then maybe other Stephen on Sunday night? See? Its like a virtual social life! The sad thing is that I actually was going to go out tonight and meet up with people, but I am too tired from my day with snotty (but cute) toddlers.
"I'm dead. Operate on me. And make it hurt!"
-The 4 year old
Even people who profess themselves to be opposed to believing in something that is by virtue unprovable. (And here I do mean unprovable, which is too often substituted with unknowable.)
Damn it. I feel like I am always on the defensive. I think that is because I always consent to arguing things on other people's terms. But that, like many have observed, is because people who disagree with faith can only argue within the field of reason. Which is fine for an argument about the affects of faith or the institution of religion. But in order to argue about faith you have to delve into a playing field that is not refereed by reason. Which is a place where people who profess themselves to be without faith generally cannot or will not go.
Do I think that I am smarter than people without faith? No. Do I think that I am more content? Perhaps. Do I think that I can understand their position on my faith and their reason for their lack thereof? Yes. Do I think that they can understand the basis for my faith, or the reasons for my confidence in my faith? Not entirely. Do I think that deep down they would like to be able to make faith compatible with their sense of reason and rationality? Definitely.
"So though we cannot know
If everything glittering
Will turn into the gold..."
-Peter Sallet, Heart of Mine
This was a perfect song choice for Olive's memorial service if I may say so myself. Keeping the Faith was on the other day, which reminded me of her...and of this song. But I can't remember what happens in the end, and whether she ends up with the pastor friend or the rabbi friend, or neither.
Today Israel bombed a UN school. Those fuckers are absolutely insane.
Aaaand, I got a package from Chloe today!!! Yay for things that are salty and sweet and silver and sparkly! I feel loved now. I will call her tonight and Emi tomorrow. I talked to Aaron last night. And then I will call Stephen maybe ummm Saturday. And then maybe other Stephen on Sunday night? See? Its like a virtual social life! The sad thing is that I actually was going to go out tonight and meet up with people, but I am too tired from my day with snotty (but cute) toddlers.
"I'm dead. Operate on me. And make it hurt!"
-The 4 year old
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