Holy Shit

A heard of frat boys just stormed by my house. Not real frat boys...Loyola boys which is basically the same thing since Loyola is a giant Greek community. I think it was ranked best-looking student body in the nation. That would be slightly exciting except for the fact that the guys there don't seem to have gotten the memo that the gel-icious duckbill hair look is out. Gross. I would never date a Loyola guy. No offense to the ones that aren't cookie cutter playboys.

In other un-newsworthy news, Ted almost got fired today. I was elated at first because when I walked in Cain, this new guy who just came back from being in Lesotho in the Peace Corps, said that my least favorite person at the restaurant was no longer employed. Ted apparently skipped his shift without notice this morning. My manager was like, "Gosh, Phoebe, what did you do to the guy?" I may or may not have told a few too many people how much I dislike Ted.

But much to my chagrin, Ted rolled in right in the middle of line-up. Everyone raised their eyebrows and casually looked busy as the manager went to ask him what happened this morning. There is a rule at the restaurant that if you skip a shift you are automatically fired, so we all held our breaths awaiting drama. Ted goes, "You know, Matt. I'm not going to lie to you. I overslept this morning."

Excuse me?! He overslept?? How can you miss your 9:30 shift by 7 hours because you overslept? He could have at least called when he did wake up. Or are we expected to believe that he woke up at 4 just in time for the second half of his double?

In any case, Matt seemed to except his apology and told him to not let it happen again. Some of the other waiters were mildly annoyed because people have gotten fired for shift-skipping in the past, so there appears to be a double standard if Ted gets to stay on. Whatever, though. I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end of his employment at the restaurant whether he knows it or not.



"Football is one sport that is better watched at home."
-Ted....what an odd thing to make a grand assertion about. Especially because I think that it is widely held that football is much more fun live with screaming crowds and face paint and cozy blankets and snacks. And if you don't like football and that is why you prefer to watch it at home away from all the football-ness, then why are you watching it anyway? Ted later admitted that he had "only ever seen one football game, like, in person". So his opinion on the matter is clearly very, like, informed.