Good Luck Night

A zombie movie that I hadn't seen yet was on tv. I absolutely adore zombie movies. Any and all. Preferably not the ones that are too cheesy and that sacrifice plot for pure gore. I like the Resident Evil movies because they have well-developed plots since they are part of a long series. Also, there is an element of fighting the man in it. On the other hand, in the Resident Evil movies they almost have the zombie-killing down to a science which makes it less riveting. I am more interested in watching normal people have their everyday lives turned upside down by a zombie invasion/infection than watching a superhero-type chick fight off zombie-monster clones with her crazy ninja skills.

The movie I watched tonight was called Diary of the Dead, and it was okay. It was a little too Blair Witch in some ways (teens who get in petty fights while they simultaneously film the fear-filled journey to their deaths). But I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time, so clearly something about it was good. I wish that their were more zombie movies set in cities though. Its always in a small town or something like that. I want to see the city version...like Cloverfield except with zombies and without people filming themselves BW style which is freaking annoying. And also without the lame, cop-out closure-less ending that Cloverfield had.

Also lovely was that I talked to Josh tonight. Even just talking to him is more fun than fully hanging out with most other people. He makes everything exciting. Except its a little bit frustrating because I have wanted to be a main part of his life for so so long. And then I finally was. I finally got to be on the inside and I got to have the right to his attention and to know what he was doing and thinking and feeling. And now, I'm not. I'm back on the outside looking in. And I can still ask him about his life and everything. But I am completely at his mercy. If he wants to shut me out or not tell me anything or go have crazy sex with people I hate there is nothing at all that I can do about it. And furthermore, if that happened I wouldn't even have the right to be upset about it in the least. Because I am on the outside.

Not that he is actually doing any of those things. Its just that my head is a worst-scenario kind of place.

Anyway, the point is not that I am paranoid and jealous. The point is that I like that I can still be somewhat involved in his life. And I like that he still cares, and that he likes it when I call, and that when I'm talking to him I don't feel like we are strangers or anything terrifying like that. It feels like everything is going to be okay.


And it is.