No Sex in the City

There were once five mixed up girls*....

Mulan had never been one who spent a lot of time talking or thinking about boys. Up until this year when everything fell into place. After a confusingly close friendship turned crush that dwindled when a certain party decided to opt for a girl three years younger than himself, another close friend (closer in proximity than in intimacy) presented himself. He was sensitive and sweet, not pushy at all, and a good kisser. The only question was whether Mulan reciprocated his feelings. And she couldn't tell herself. After countless hours of soul-searching she decided that she did "like like" him and she would consent to being his girlfriend. From there it was a bouquet of roses, a couple of dates, some making out and an "I love you" (on his part). But will this actually be happily ever after? Can there be equality in a relationship where one member initiated said relationship and popped the L-word super fast while the other member is just settling into the idea of being along for this type of ride?

Meanwhile, Ella was feeling quite the opposite. Instead of doubting her own feelings while being pursued, she doubted whether her Prince Charming had any feelings for her. Like Mulan, Ella's crush was a close friend which posed considerable problems. It was near impossible for her to tell whether his actions with regard to her were standard for a friendship of their kind or whether he was subtly venturing into straight-up flirtation. Also complicating the matter was the fact that Ella had it on good authority that a mutual friend of theirs was interested in her. Could this be preventing her crush from making a move? Was she obligated to give up pursuit of her crush so as to not hurt the feelings of the friend that liked her?

Belle was having similar problems with boys. She also had once liked--and if she was being honest, still did like--a friend of hers. However, the situation seemed much too precarious for action. Belle predicted that a happy ending was unlikely and she valued her friendship too much to risk ruining it with awkwardness, and so she analyzed much and did nothing. She was, however, slightly worried that her friend Aurora was interested in this same boy, which would inevitably spell disaster for all parties involved. At the same time, she became distracted by a boy that she worked with. While he didn't seem like her ideal type, he was easy to get along with and he never failed to make her laugh. Once again though, it was quite difficult to know whether he paid this much attention to all girls or whether Belle was special. Should Belle put effort into the pursuit of work boy and forget about her friendcrush who was much more "her type", should she do the opposite, or should she wait it out for someone (or no one) to come to her?

Aurora was at a different point in her life. She was quite satisfied with her lack of angsty-ness at the moment. After being in two serious relationships, she was enjoying the feeling of being "up for grabs". She was at peace with her most recent ex and had no strong feelings for anyone at the moment....but had definite interest in a number of boy-possibilities. It was exhilarating to sit back and wait to be approached by boys, and then have the opportunity to try them out for fun even if she wasn't initially interested in them. Aurora felt as if she had matured eons in the past couple years, and this pleased her greatly. What also pleased her was that she had stepped waaay out of her comfort zone and replied to a cute personal ad on Craigslist. Creepy, maybe, but the ad's author sounded witty and intelligent and had basically described HER in his ad. So Aurora had responded just for kicks. Now they regularly corresponded. Was Aurora ready for another relationship? Could she and Craigslist boy be mtb? Or was it time to relax and be single?

Ariel was another character entirely. Ella liked her quite a bit and thought her to be similar to herself. Belle was also ready to approve of Ariel, but was also somewhat threatened by Ariel's pizzazz and magnetism. However, the primary potential for conflict lay between Ella and Ariel who both liked the same boy (though he certainly had little or no knowledge of either girl's feelings). Ariel, having recently been made aware of Ella's interest in the same boy, worried that pursuit of said boy would result in girl-conflict that was to be avoided at all costs. Ariel was reasonable with regard to boys, and she and Ella were certainly not sorority sister types where "hands off mutual crushes" rules applied, but the ho's over bros mentality still ran deep and prevented her from serious strategizing. Should Ariel back off from her crush or risk her friendship with Ella to pursue him?




*Code names have been replaced with new code names for a double-blind dose of anonymity.



"Paul, what do you think five across is? The clue is "very close" and it is five letters long."
-Me
"Hmmm, what about "having sex at that exact moment"? Whoops, I guess that's too long....I can't work on this crossword anymore. It is just sitting there humiliating me."
-Paul, my late 50's waiter/lawyer homie