Moonbounce anyone?

Restaurant work acquaints you with the craziest of people. There are the flamboyant head waiters who have a system of punishments for the busboys (hands in pocket=hug, cellphone out=booty slap), the anonymous staff people who leave their stashes in condiment cups around the restaurant...and then, there are the crazy customers.

I don't know if you remember the woman at the John McCain town hall meeting who helped seal the deal for Obama by asserting into her microphone that Barack "can't be trusted. He's, he's, he's....an Arab!" Well the woman who came in to the restaurant tonight looked remarkably similar...and turned out to be borderline certifiable as well.

First I came to take her drink order and she promptly responded with "what comes with beans in it?" I politely directed her to the Mexican entrees on the menu giving myself silent snaps for being on point. Then she wanted to know if I could convince the kitchen to make a veggie enchilada with the refried beans on the inside. I said I would do my best and prepared to move towards the kitchen but she stopped me as if to place another order. She then spent three entire minutes scouring the menu silently while I stood there. Did she want me to leave? Was I expected to wait? I compromised by staying there and nonchalantly staring at the ceiling. Finally she switched her order to a side of rice, a side of beans and a side of veggies....which at our restaurant comes to a whopping 12 bucks. I sighed in relief and scrambled away to the kitchen.

Next thing I know she follows me into the servers' station (um, boundary issues?) and changes her order back to the refried enchilada concoction. Whatever. I put it into the computer and bring her her tea.

But, after I head back to plead her case to the kitchen and succeed in getting an affirmative on the enchilada I glance out the window and see her racing down the street. Wtfuck? I go over to the table and her tea is sitting untouched. She has removed her bag but left a pair of what look like black space gloves. My manager tells me that maybe she forgot something in her car and is racing off to get it. Nope, next I see her zooming away down the street in her car.

I don't get it! If the prices were too high she could have left as soon as she saw the menu. If she didn't want the food she wouldn't have been so torn between her trio of sides and the enchilada.

Weird.

But even funnier than that was going into the kitchen only to see a foot sticking out of a metal cupboard on the floor. Reese, one of the cooks, crawled in there to hide (he pulled boxes in front of himself and everything) so that he could talk on the phone. I laughed until I got hiccups. And I still have them.



"You've got to get yourself together.
You got stuck in the moment and now you can't get out of it."
-U2