That's how I spent tonight. It would have been superb except that the Huskies lost to Arizona. Yes, that would be the team with the guy who got his face stepped on last week. All I have to say is that I think Lute Olson was overrated, and I think U of A fans are in general freaking annoying.
Other than that little bit of excitement, everything is droll. I am thoroughly unsatisfied with the everyday experience of living because I don't have anything to look forward to except the end of the workday. And all that happens then is that I get to go home and eat real food and watch The OC. And as much as Adam Brody lights up my day, its just not cutting it.
On the upside, I absolutely love being depressed and then realizing that life is not really that bad, its just PMS. Then you can actually stop being depressed and help yourself to some chocolate and wine. I know I have mentioned that before, but it bears repeating because there are few other realizations in life that give me as much pleasure. Its like being awfully awfully sick. The kind where you actually would rather be unconscious or dead (possibly). And then when you start feeling better and returning to a neutral state, the lack of pain actually feels euphoric rather than just ordinary. Its all about perspective.
"If I were on one of these basketball teams I would be great at free throws. I would do 300 hundred a week to practice. You would see me walk to the line and just know that there are two points right there. None of this John Brockman stuff. I would be so good at my free throws. I would be like perfect. Every time."
-My mother
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Nanny Diary
This is the most tiring job I have ever had. I always enjoyed babysitting when I was younger, but I had never known what it was like to keep a 4 year-old and a two year-old entertained for nine hours a day. Thats not to say that I don't enjoy any of it. There are definitely moments that make me happy. When the younger one rests his little forehead against mine, or when the older one counted to ten correctly on his own for the first time. But that doesn't erase the mental exhaustion that overcomes me after an entire day of imaginary play with Tigers and ghosts and cars.
Things they say:
"Daddy-o."
-According to those two, that is their father's official name.
"Aah-scream"
-That would be ice cream.
"Your head is not as big as our old babysitter's."
-Flattery or insult?
"Why are you so nice?"
-Hmph. So even toddlers think I am overly congenial. And I don't even let them watch tv.
"Stink-a-boo."
-Code for peek-a-boo."
"Uh-uh."
-Probably. People look at me so oddly when I ask the little guy if he wants a snack and then give it to him after he says "uh-uh".
"You should cut your hair."
-Perceptive buggers.
Jimmy Carter was super fly on The Daily Show last night.
Things they say:
"Daddy-o."
-According to those two, that is their father's official name.
"Aah-scream"
-That would be ice cream.
"Your head is not as big as our old babysitter's."
-Flattery or insult?
"Why are you so nice?"
-Hmph. So even toddlers think I am overly congenial. And I don't even let them watch tv.
"Stink-a-boo."
-Code for peek-a-boo."
"Uh-uh."
-Probably. People look at me so oddly when I ask the little guy if he wants a snack and then give it to him after he says "uh-uh".
"You should cut your hair."
-Perceptive buggers.
Jimmy Carter was super fly on The Daily Show last night.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Inauguration
It was amazing. Cold, but people were packed so close that the iciness couldn't really seep in.
It took us over three hours to walk from Union Station to the Washington Monument because the streets were literally more crowded than a mosh pit. But when we did get there it was craziness. People screamed and cheered as soon as they saw anyone remotely favored. Colin Powell, the Clintons, Jimmy Carter, the Bidens and, of course, the Obamas. Bush got looooud boo's and then everyone saying "Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na hey hey hey goodbye." And then again as Bush's helicopter flew him safely away from the Whitehouse. It was like the scene at the end of Dick, only we were all wearing four pairs of pants instead of cute flag bikinis and flares.
And then there was a loooong poem and a rhyming prayer. John Stewart was not exaggerating in the least when he said that the one-two combination of those cleared the mall in about 60 seconds.
"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it."
-President Obama
It took us over three hours to walk from Union Station to the Washington Monument because the streets were literally more crowded than a mosh pit. But when we did get there it was craziness. People screamed and cheered as soon as they saw anyone remotely favored. Colin Powell, the Clintons, Jimmy Carter, the Bidens and, of course, the Obamas. Bush got looooud boo's and then everyone saying "Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na hey hey hey goodbye." And then again as Bush's helicopter flew him safely away from the Whitehouse. It was like the scene at the end of Dick, only we were all wearing four pairs of pants instead of cute flag bikinis and flares.
And then there was a loooong poem and a rhyming prayer. John Stewart was not exaggerating in the least when he said that the one-two combination of those cleared the mall in about 60 seconds.
"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it."
-President Obama
Monday, January 19, 2009
Favorite Song Lines
"The snow is falling down,
on our New England town."
-Fountains of Wayne
"You'll be doing society a favor.
That sonofabitch is brave and getting braver."
-Bob Dylan
"Well, I'm a standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford slowing down to take a look at me."
...
"We may lose and we may win,
but we will never be here again."
-The Eagles
"Do you wanna know,
If everything glittering will turn into the gold,
I see in your hair."
-Peter Sallet
"I put quarter water and sold it in bottles for 2 bucks,
And Coca-Cola came and bought it for billions. What the fuck?"
-50
"There's a man with a gun over there,
tellin me I got to beware.
I think its time we stop, children, what's that sound?
Everybody look whats going down."
-Buffalo Springfield
"Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African"
-Jay Z
"Her hair is Harlowe gold
Her lips sweet surprise
Her hands are never cold
She's got Bette Davis eyes."
-Various artists including Blondie
"Now Muriel plays piano
Every Friday at the Hollywood
And they brought me down to see her
And they asked me if I would,
Do a little number
And I sang with all my might
And she said "Tell me are you a Christian, child?"
And I said "Ma'am I am tonight"."
-Marc Cohn
on our New England town."
-Fountains of Wayne
"You'll be doing society a favor.
That sonofabitch is brave and getting braver."
-Bob Dylan
"Well, I'm a standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford slowing down to take a look at me."
...
"We may lose and we may win,
but we will never be here again."
-The Eagles
"Do you wanna know,
If everything glittering will turn into the gold,
I see in your hair."
-Peter Sallet
"I put quarter water and sold it in bottles for 2 bucks,
And Coca-Cola came and bought it for billions. What the fuck?"
-50
"There's a man with a gun over there,
tellin me I got to beware.
I think its time we stop, children, what's that sound?
Everybody look whats going down."
-Buffalo Springfield
"Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African"
-Jay Z
"Her hair is Harlowe gold
Her lips sweet surprise
Her hands are never cold
She's got Bette Davis eyes."
-Various artists including Blondie
"Now Muriel plays piano
Every Friday at the Hollywood
And they brought me down to see her
And they asked me if I would,
Do a little number
And I sang with all my might
And she said "Tell me are you a Christian, child?"
And I said "Ma'am I am tonight"."
-Marc Cohn
T minus 13 hours
I love it when the snow floats up. I mean, I love snow period. But the tiny flakes that are so light that they circle upwards in seemingly no wind are my favorite.
What I don't love is how freaking cold I am going to be tomorrow. Luckily, I will have toe warmers.
What I don't love is how freaking cold I am going to be tomorrow. Luckily, I will have toe warmers.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Programmed
I am fairly positive that I have been overly empathetic from day 1. And I think that this may be one of my biggest issues. I can remember myself at the age of four doing a rotating sleep arrangement with my many stuffed animals so that they could each have a prime spot on the bed eventually and none of them would have reason to feel left out. Perhaps attributing feelings to inanimate objects suggests bigger problems than an over developed sense of empathy, I don't know.
And one of my most traumatic memories is of me getting lice. I had to stay home for days while my hair was yanked and doused in chemicals, and worst of all, all my stuffed animals were bagged up. My parents said that I could get them back in a year. I thought that the world was ending.
In any case, I think this whole people thinking I am some kind of innocent porcelain doll who is polite to the point of un-funness stems from me being too invested in other people's emotions. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend them at all or mess up and have them judge me. And so I am boring. And when someone offends me, I over analyze it to the point where I end up feeling sorry for them and can't get up the nerve to risk hurting their feelings by taking revenge...or even addressing the issue.
And then on the flip side, I sometimes get so fed up with being a wimp and being so constantly overlooked because I am generally nice that I will lash out. I will absolutely blindside someone who is expecting me to act neutrally, and then they end up thinking that I am a bitch.
Basically, I can't win.
Saw Frost/Nixon. It was good I thought, but both mi madre and mi hermanita fell asleep. I could never ever fall asleep in a movie. Maybe at home, but not in the theater. I like living vicariously too much to zone out.
And one of my most traumatic memories is of me getting lice. I had to stay home for days while my hair was yanked and doused in chemicals, and worst of all, all my stuffed animals were bagged up. My parents said that I could get them back in a year. I thought that the world was ending.
In any case, I think this whole people thinking I am some kind of innocent porcelain doll who is polite to the point of un-funness stems from me being too invested in other people's emotions. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend them at all or mess up and have them judge me. And so I am boring. And when someone offends me, I over analyze it to the point where I end up feeling sorry for them and can't get up the nerve to risk hurting their feelings by taking revenge...or even addressing the issue.
And then on the flip side, I sometimes get so fed up with being a wimp and being so constantly overlooked because I am generally nice that I will lash out. I will absolutely blindside someone who is expecting me to act neutrally, and then they end up thinking that I am a bitch.
Basically, I can't win.
Saw Frost/Nixon. It was good I thought, but both mi madre and mi hermanita fell asleep. I could never ever fall asleep in a movie. Maybe at home, but not in the theater. I like living vicariously too much to zone out.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Good Luck Night
A zombie movie that I hadn't seen yet was on tv. I absolutely adore zombie movies. Any and all. Preferably not the ones that are too cheesy and that sacrifice plot for pure gore. I like the Resident Evil movies because they have well-developed plots since they are part of a long series. Also, there is an element of fighting the man in it. On the other hand, in the Resident Evil movies they almost have the zombie-killing down to a science which makes it less riveting. I am more interested in watching normal people have their everyday lives turned upside down by a zombie invasion/infection than watching a superhero-type chick fight off zombie-monster clones with her crazy ninja skills.
The movie I watched tonight was called Diary of the Dead, and it was okay. It was a little too Blair Witch in some ways (teens who get in petty fights while they simultaneously film the fear-filled journey to their deaths). But I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time, so clearly something about it was good. I wish that their were more zombie movies set in cities though. Its always in a small town or something like that. I want to see the city version...like Cloverfield except with zombies and without people filming themselves BW style which is freaking annoying. And also without the lame, cop-out closure-less ending that Cloverfield had.
Also lovely was that I talked to Josh tonight. Even just talking to him is more fun than fully hanging out with most other people. He makes everything exciting. Except its a little bit frustrating because I have wanted to be a main part of his life for so so long. And then I finally was. I finally got to be on the inside and I got to have the right to his attention and to know what he was doing and thinking and feeling. And now, I'm not. I'm back on the outside looking in. And I can still ask him about his life and everything. But I am completely at his mercy. If he wants to shut me out or not tell me anything or go have crazy sex with people I hate there is nothing at all that I can do about it. And furthermore, if that happened I wouldn't even have the right to be upset about it in the least. Because I am on the outside.
Not that he is actually doing any of those things. Its just that my head is a worst-scenario kind of place.
Anyway, the point is not that I am paranoid and jealous. The point is that I like that I can still be somewhat involved in his life. And I like that he still cares, and that he likes it when I call, and that when I'm talking to him I don't feel like we are strangers or anything terrifying like that. It feels like everything is going to be okay.
And it is.
The movie I watched tonight was called Diary of the Dead, and it was okay. It was a little too Blair Witch in some ways (teens who get in petty fights while they simultaneously film the fear-filled journey to their deaths). But I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time, so clearly something about it was good. I wish that their were more zombie movies set in cities though. Its always in a small town or something like that. I want to see the city version...like Cloverfield except with zombies and without people filming themselves BW style which is freaking annoying. And also without the lame, cop-out closure-less ending that Cloverfield had.
Also lovely was that I talked to Josh tonight. Even just talking to him is more fun than fully hanging out with most other people. He makes everything exciting. Except its a little bit frustrating because I have wanted to be a main part of his life for so so long. And then I finally was. I finally got to be on the inside and I got to have the right to his attention and to know what he was doing and thinking and feeling. And now, I'm not. I'm back on the outside looking in. And I can still ask him about his life and everything. But I am completely at his mercy. If he wants to shut me out or not tell me anything or go have crazy sex with people I hate there is nothing at all that I can do about it. And furthermore, if that happened I wouldn't even have the right to be upset about it in the least. Because I am on the outside.
Not that he is actually doing any of those things. Its just that my head is a worst-scenario kind of place.
Anyway, the point is not that I am paranoid and jealous. The point is that I like that I can still be somewhat involved in his life. And I like that he still cares, and that he likes it when I call, and that when I'm talking to him I don't feel like we are strangers or anything terrifying like that. It feels like everything is going to be okay.
And it is.
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