Top Fives

Top 5 Foods:
Barbecued Ribs
Stuffed spinach Chicago-style pizza
Mexican rice with sour cream
Olives and olive-y mushrooms and capers
The sandwich

Top 5 Movie Characters That Remind Me of Me:
Gigi - He's Just Not That Into You
Julie - Julie and Julia..."Just for once could you not look on the bright side?"
Jane (Katherine Heigl) - 27 Dresses
Amelie - Amelie
Emma - Emma

Top 5 Movie Characters That I Wish Reminded Me of Me:
Viola (Amanda Bynes) - She's the Man
Julia Child - Julie and Julia
Bones - Bones (its a show, but its as good as a movie, so pshaw)
Mulan - Mulan
Elizabeth - Pride and Prejudice

Top 5 Terribles:
Feeling jealous (doubly as bad when there is reason for you to feel that way)
Mispelling words and getting caught
Feeling so hungry you feel nauseated
Your face getting rounder
Being sweaty when you're cold (shout out to SLL)

Top 5 Smells:
Popcorn
Bacon
Aqua du Gio cologne
Anise Anise perfume
Chocolate chip cookies baking

Top 5 Songs ATM:
Concerning Hobbits - Lord of the Rings
1981 - The Tough Alliance
Replay - Iyaz
All the Above - Maino
Keep On Trying - Poco

Contracts, ILY

Dear Stanford,

Hire my prof. He is baller.

Thx,
me

PS- He's not the reason I flunked.


Asimow:

"Okay, so this guy is a nut, but it's his egg farm."


"Well, what you're buying is . . . essentially horse semen . . . but, no I don't think that the UCC applies here."

"Its too bad if you feel like a hound dog that has eaten a rotten skunk."

"If you want to fight the union, fight the union, but it doesn't let you off the hook to your k."

"Let's add on 10 million dollars because you're a bastard."

(On UCC 2-207) "Thank you for your offer. It is rejected!"

" Experts are in very bad disgrace in the law, because they are for sale. They are prostitutes."

"You can't handle the bottom line!"

"Breaches come in all shapes and sizes."

Someone is trying to poison me...

Clearly they have realized that I am the biggest threat in our class and they want to steal my H.

More mistakes

Apparently I am just terrible. Just terrible. I always take people for granted who turn out to be amazing, and often invest too much time in people who turn out to be mediocre. This is not to say that the mediocre people suck....just that it would be excellent if I would start to realize how cool the people are that are staring me in the face in the first place.

Story of my life.

Literally. Take Stephan for example. Where was he junior year? Fuck if I know. The first time that he exploded into my consciousness was when we got crunk and buried treasure in the quad. Before that he was definitely around....just in a way less obvious way. And we eventually did get to be good friends, but I wish that I hadn't wasted so much time.

And time wasting is for sure what I am doing once again. One big problem is that I think that the coolest people are the most elusive people. Not true. What kind of epiphany is it going to take me to realize that the people that are most enjoyable are not the hard-to-get ones, they're the ones who accept you in the beginning, connect with you and want to hang out with you. The truly amazing people are the ones who choose YOU. I know this, but in real time it is very hard for me to realize this. But its true. And I can name two hands worth of people who I have overlooked or undervalued or just not noticed....and I bet $200 that these ones will end up being my all-time favorites within the next three years.

I feel much, much better.

Also, I need to recognize that people thinking that I am second best does not mean that I can automatically pretend that they are not on my radar. They will get offended and I will get a bad reputation. I need to step up and not be such an emo kid.

Hearts.

Orientation Inevitabilities

The most interesting people are always the ones that I misjudge at first.

Notable mentions so far...

1. Serious Boy

Not a straight-up nerd per se, but all packaged up with techno glasses, conscientious class participation and a refusal to laugh at professors' jokes.

Game-changing move: Hooked up with two girls in one night. I witnessed one of the hook-ups myself. The collision of tongues was intense enough to qualify as both softcore (like porn) and hardcore (like a traffic accident)...Either way, impossible to not stare at.

New classification: Player Boy.

2. Pill Commercial Girl

She looks like one of bikini-clad synchro swimmers in the Seasonel birth control commercials. Gorgeous and poised. And in a hard-core relationship, like most all gorgeous, poised 20-somethings.

Game-changing move: Hooked up with rotund boy at club.

New Classification: Crazy...I mean wtfuck? She's gorgeous, he's not, and he is a republican. Poor choice, hon. I mean no real judgment here, just shock.

3. Frizz Girl

I just want to condition her hair. And I am not usually one to talk about that delicate subject since I suffer from humidity-induced half-fros on a regular basis. Anyway, I just assumed that boys would not consider her the most bangin' babe ever because of the frizz halo and the spit-saturated way that she speaks.

Game-changing move: She literally attracts strangers off the sidewalk. And now she is casually dating one of these "hey baby can I get yo digits" boys. I think that in my initial analysis I did not take into account the effect of big boobs. Sounds crass, but so are random guys, right?

New Classification: Holla back girl.

4. Going Places Guy

He is easily the most concerned with the future person that I have encountered here so far. He did not mince words in telling me that according to past precedent, I can kiss my chances of a worthwhile clerkship goodbye if I don't get Honors in my first semester.

Game changing move: TOTALLY broke it down at the club. He went lower than most girls even dare, and was not shy about attempting a grind-up multiple times. Also suddenly insisted on paying for EVERYTHING. I'm talking shots, pizza, t-shirts and taxis. He was shoving money in our hands, purses and pockets until we felt like strippers. Basically, he bankrolled the entire night apart from the round of drinks that his roommate bought and the round of turtles* that his other roommate threw down for.

New Classification: High Roller.

*balloon animal corsages.

I am actually fully in support of all these individuals. I like being surprised, even if the surprise is of the sleazy, slut-muffin variety.

"You forget a space in your citation. No H for you, bitch!"

500 Days of Summer

I wish I had that. In reality I only have 24 days until I have to be in Palo Alto. Terrible.

I don't have a plane ticket or a car. I don't know how I will get my stuff there. I don't want to think about it.

So I'm not.

I saw 500 Days of Summer tonight, which was altogether enjoyable. But it was also bittersweet which makes me sad. I have to watch some Bonesie tonight to wash that melancholy right out of my head. You might think that Bones is a crime show, but really its the longest time coming romance ever on TV. I hope the writers never mess it up! It always happens like that in shows that stay on the air a long time. There is some kind of angsty lovers drama between two MTB people which builds and builds and builds until it climaxes and they finally come together and its fabulous. But then there is no more drama so the next thing you know the writers break the couple up and send them in opposite directions.

Mmmm. It's so hot and humid that moving feels like swimming. Its easy to complain about the weather here, but I secretly love it. I want to live in the South one day.





"There is something not right about that little girl."
-Yoster

That Day Again

It always creeps right up on me. Three hours have passed already. I don't know what that means.

It's interesting though. [Cue scoffs from the skeptics.] It is almost as if the events in my life were designed to make coping easier for me. For years and years I have been all about half birthdays. May 2nd is my little sister's half birthday...a date to celebrate. May 2nd was also Olive's D-Day...a date that would have been automatically emo if not for Yoster. The other date that I would feel inevitably tortured is June 29th. Olive's birthday. Also my mother's birthday...and thus clearly a day for elation.

I am not actually saying that I definitively believe that those dates are more than a coincidence. Perhaps its just luck. Either way, I appreciate it.

I miss her like crazy. But not so much that it drives me crazy.