Good news: my thumb is de-bumpifying.
Bad news: I sliced off the fingerprint of my middle finger. It happened when I slid my finger under the envelope of a law school app and got the paper cut of the century.
I am pretty sure that life is not nearly so hard for other people.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I don't feel good
Watching Catch and Release. Horrible idea.
One thing I like about the movie is that it doesn't simplify things. The woman's fiance is dead and as much as she would like to remember him fondly in peace, she has to deal with the reality of things. She has to come to terms with the fact that he cheated on her, which makes her angry and jealous and insecure.
It's easy to romanticize death, but I think that it mostly isn't like that at all.
What it is like is lonely. And its a lonely that doesn't go away. From what I can tell it lasts the rest of your life.
There is a boy at my church whose best friend has a brain tumor. I've always really liked this boy. He is quiet and shy and likes Trivial Pursuit. He is also totally nerdy. I don't think he has a ton of friends. I guess now his friend has leukemia in addition to the tumor and it looks like he is going to die. I feel so awful for both of them. That shouldn't happen to people. Its not fair. And it kills me to see it happening to someone else.
I'm so so upset. It doesn't make sense. I don't understand how the universe decides to hurt people so badly. Not all people, just some. These kids are so young and they don't deserve to have this happen to them. They're innocent and haven't experienced a whole lot of life yet. But it doesn't matter. Because one of them will likely die, and the other will be alone the rest of his life wondering why and feeling empty.
And it will be worse since he is a boy. People will look at him funny if he randomly cries at movies that remind him of his friend. And nobody will know what to say to him about it.
Sometimes living just makes me want to die.
One thing I like about the movie is that it doesn't simplify things. The woman's fiance is dead and as much as she would like to remember him fondly in peace, she has to deal with the reality of things. She has to come to terms with the fact that he cheated on her, which makes her angry and jealous and insecure.
It's easy to romanticize death, but I think that it mostly isn't like that at all.
What it is like is lonely. And its a lonely that doesn't go away. From what I can tell it lasts the rest of your life.
There is a boy at my church whose best friend has a brain tumor. I've always really liked this boy. He is quiet and shy and likes Trivial Pursuit. He is also totally nerdy. I don't think he has a ton of friends. I guess now his friend has leukemia in addition to the tumor and it looks like he is going to die. I feel so awful for both of them. That shouldn't happen to people. Its not fair. And it kills me to see it happening to someone else.
I'm so so upset. It doesn't make sense. I don't understand how the universe decides to hurt people so badly. Not all people, just some. These kids are so young and they don't deserve to have this happen to them. They're innocent and haven't experienced a whole lot of life yet. But it doesn't matter. Because one of them will likely die, and the other will be alone the rest of his life wondering why and feeling empty.
And it will be worse since he is a boy. People will look at him funny if he randomly cries at movies that remind him of his friend. And nobody will know what to say to him about it.
Sometimes living just makes me want to die.
Monday, January 12, 2009
On Grease
I would like to note a couple of things about this classic movie.
1. It is very close to my heart since it is about a girl who everyone considers a prude, who may in fact be a prude in comparison to everyone else, who gets her dream guy.
2. There is lots of goofy dancing done with incredible gusto and also lots of high ponytails.
3. Many have criticized the movie's apparent chauvinist tone since Sandy "wins" in the end only after she completely changes herself from the sweet innocent Sandra Dee to the smokin' hot sex pistol in black leather/spandex...basically the female equivalent of Danny (hello...John Travolta). BUT, what is forgotten in these criticisms is that Danny and Sandy BOTH change themselves to win over eachother. Danny shows up to meet Sandy wearing a letterman's jacket instead of his usual greased up leather and tells his friends that he cares about them, but he cares about Sandy more so he is going to become a jock so that she will take him back. The point is NOT that Sandy had to change herself in order to produce the fairytale ending, the point is that they were meant to be and proof of that was them both being willing to change for the other.
4. I've never thought John Travolta was hot.
5. Summer Lovin' was one of my first favorite songs ever. Right behind Build Me Up, Buttercup and the listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain one.
1. It is very close to my heart since it is about a girl who everyone considers a prude, who may in fact be a prude in comparison to everyone else, who gets her dream guy.
2. There is lots of goofy dancing done with incredible gusto and also lots of high ponytails.
3. Many have criticized the movie's apparent chauvinist tone since Sandy "wins" in the end only after she completely changes herself from the sweet innocent Sandra Dee to the smokin' hot sex pistol in black leather/spandex...basically the female equivalent of Danny (hello...John Travolta). BUT, what is forgotten in these criticisms is that Danny and Sandy BOTH change themselves to win over eachother. Danny shows up to meet Sandy wearing a letterman's jacket instead of his usual greased up leather and tells his friends that he cares about them, but he cares about Sandy more so he is going to become a jock so that she will take him back. The point is NOT that Sandy had to change herself in order to produce the fairytale ending, the point is that they were meant to be and proof of that was them both being willing to change for the other.
4. I've never thought John Travolta was hot.
5. Summer Lovin' was one of my first favorite songs ever. Right behind Build Me Up, Buttercup and the listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain one.
Impending Disaster
I have an illness on my thumb. It is yet to be determined whether or not it is lethal. I am preparing for the worst. It sounds very odd and gross, and knowing that it is me that this is happening to makes me want to cut off my finger. If I just knew what it was maybe I would calm down, but since I don't know it seems yucky and frightening.
A couple days ago I started noticing these bumps on my thumb. You can't really see them well. They are like minuscule little air bubbles under the skin. And when I text or do anything else that puts pressure on the pad of my right thumb, I can feel them and they hurt. Like little splinters or something. But it can't be splinters because there are 12 or more of them and I would have noticed getting 12 shards of anything stuck in my hand.
Yikes!
Last night I had a full on panic attack about this disastrous development. I looked on the internet and the closest thing I could find was something called dyshidrotic dermatitis. The pictures are all a bit more extreme than my case since mine is only on my thumb and you can't see it unless you look really really hard. But the websites I looked at says that the condition is one that some people develop in their 20's or 30's either randomly or because of weather, stress, or a medication/chemical. It can start on one fingertip and spread or it can remain localized. And it can go away and never return or show up once every couple weeks for the rest of your life.
Needless to say, I am scheduling an appointment with my Jewish dermatologist pronto. He is very very intelligent and I have complete faith that he will know what to do. Until then, I am staying off of Google, and utilizing my impressive skills of distraction to avoid obsessing about my possibly fatal future regarding my thumb.
A couple days ago I started noticing these bumps on my thumb. You can't really see them well. They are like minuscule little air bubbles under the skin. And when I text or do anything else that puts pressure on the pad of my right thumb, I can feel them and they hurt. Like little splinters or something. But it can't be splinters because there are 12 or more of them and I would have noticed getting 12 shards of anything stuck in my hand.
Yikes!
Last night I had a full on panic attack about this disastrous development. I looked on the internet and the closest thing I could find was something called dyshidrotic dermatitis. The pictures are all a bit more extreme than my case since mine is only on my thumb and you can't see it unless you look really really hard. But the websites I looked at says that the condition is one that some people develop in their 20's or 30's either randomly or because of weather, stress, or a medication/chemical. It can start on one fingertip and spread or it can remain localized. And it can go away and never return or show up once every couple weeks for the rest of your life.
Needless to say, I am scheduling an appointment with my Jewish dermatologist pronto. He is very very intelligent and I have complete faith that he will know what to do. Until then, I am staying off of Google, and utilizing my impressive skills of distraction to avoid obsessing about my possibly fatal future regarding my thumb.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Holy Shit
A heard of frat boys just stormed by my house. Not real frat boys...Loyola boys which is basically the same thing since Loyola is a giant Greek community. I think it was ranked best-looking student body in the nation. That would be slightly exciting except for the fact that the guys there don't seem to have gotten the memo that the gel-icious duckbill hair look is out. Gross. I would never date a Loyola guy. No offense to the ones that aren't cookie cutter playboys.
In other un-newsworthy news, Ted almost got fired today. I was elated at first because when I walked in Cain, this new guy who just came back from being in Lesotho in the Peace Corps, said that my least favorite person at the restaurant was no longer employed. Ted apparently skipped his shift without notice this morning. My manager was like, "Gosh, Phoebe, what did you do to the guy?" I may or may not have told a few too many people how much I dislike Ted.
But much to my chagrin, Ted rolled in right in the middle of line-up. Everyone raised their eyebrows and casually looked busy as the manager went to ask him what happened this morning. There is a rule at the restaurant that if you skip a shift you are automatically fired, so we all held our breaths awaiting drama. Ted goes, "You know, Matt. I'm not going to lie to you. I overslept this morning."
Excuse me?! He overslept?? How can you miss your 9:30 shift by 7 hours because you overslept? He could have at least called when he did wake up. Or are we expected to believe that he woke up at 4 just in time for the second half of his double?
In any case, Matt seemed to except his apology and told him to not let it happen again. Some of the other waiters were mildly annoyed because people have gotten fired for shift-skipping in the past, so there appears to be a double standard if Ted gets to stay on. Whatever, though. I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end of his employment at the restaurant whether he knows it or not.
"Football is one sport that is better watched at home."
-Ted....what an odd thing to make a grand assertion about. Especially because I think that it is widely held that football is much more fun live with screaming crowds and face paint and cozy blankets and snacks. And if you don't like football and that is why you prefer to watch it at home away from all the football-ness, then why are you watching it anyway? Ted later admitted that he had "only ever seen one football game, like, in person". So his opinion on the matter is clearly very, like, informed.
In other un-newsworthy news, Ted almost got fired today. I was elated at first because when I walked in Cain, this new guy who just came back from being in Lesotho in the Peace Corps, said that my least favorite person at the restaurant was no longer employed. Ted apparently skipped his shift without notice this morning. My manager was like, "Gosh, Phoebe, what did you do to the guy?" I may or may not have told a few too many people how much I dislike Ted.
But much to my chagrin, Ted rolled in right in the middle of line-up. Everyone raised their eyebrows and casually looked busy as the manager went to ask him what happened this morning. There is a rule at the restaurant that if you skip a shift you are automatically fired, so we all held our breaths awaiting drama. Ted goes, "You know, Matt. I'm not going to lie to you. I overslept this morning."
Excuse me?! He overslept?? How can you miss your 9:30 shift by 7 hours because you overslept? He could have at least called when he did wake up. Or are we expected to believe that he woke up at 4 just in time for the second half of his double?
In any case, Matt seemed to except his apology and told him to not let it happen again. Some of the other waiters were mildly annoyed because people have gotten fired for shift-skipping in the past, so there appears to be a double standard if Ted gets to stay on. Whatever, though. I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end of his employment at the restaurant whether he knows it or not.
"Football is one sport that is better watched at home."
-Ted....what an odd thing to make a grand assertion about. Especially because I think that it is widely held that football is much more fun live with screaming crowds and face paint and cozy blankets and snacks. And if you don't like football and that is why you prefer to watch it at home away from all the football-ness, then why are you watching it anyway? Ted later admitted that he had "only ever seen one football game, like, in person". So his opinion on the matter is clearly very, like, informed.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Baltimoron In Chief
Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon was indicted on 12 counts today including theft and perjury. Apparently she stole gift cards people had donated to be given to children in need and gave them to her family members. Can you say heartless ho?
My father also has observed attempts at corruption filter down from her office to his. Though when she was indicted today he did make a feeble attempt to defend her saying that sometimes corrupt politicians do actually benefit their constituents through good work.
That being said, I think that it is a good thing that our Mayor seems to be heading in the direction of Blagojevich. She has always struck me as pretentious and unhelpful. She is good at filling potholes and sucking up fallen leaves in swanky neighborhoods, but while she has presided the Baltimore PD has remained out of fucking control. I also heard today that shortly after being elected Mayor she came to the restaurant with a squad of assholes and reeked havoc. She called the place racist because other tables got their food before her table (hello? other tables did not munch on plates full of appetizers). She also got someone to sleuth out the owner's home phone number so that she could ring him up and bitch him out about the manager's incompetence in front of the manager's face. To top it all off, while the manager was profusely apologizing, one of the women at the table barked "talk to the hand" like she was in Clueless or something equally hair-brained but much more enjoyable as fiction.
Plus, the guys in the kitchen seem to hate her. And as I've said before, I generally respect their opinions on all things Baltimore.
My father also has observed attempts at corruption filter down from her office to his. Though when she was indicted today he did make a feeble attempt to defend her saying that sometimes corrupt politicians do actually benefit their constituents through good work.
That being said, I think that it is a good thing that our Mayor seems to be heading in the direction of Blagojevich. She has always struck me as pretentious and unhelpful. She is good at filling potholes and sucking up fallen leaves in swanky neighborhoods, but while she has presided the Baltimore PD has remained out of fucking control. I also heard today that shortly after being elected Mayor she came to the restaurant with a squad of assholes and reeked havoc. She called the place racist because other tables got their food before her table (hello? other tables did not munch on plates full of appetizers). She also got someone to sleuth out the owner's home phone number so that she could ring him up and bitch him out about the manager's incompetence in front of the manager's face. To top it all off, while the manager was profusely apologizing, one of the women at the table barked "talk to the hand" like she was in Clueless or something equally hair-brained but much more enjoyable as fiction.
Plus, the guys in the kitchen seem to hate her. And as I've said before, I generally respect their opinions on all things Baltimore.
Things Of A Bygone Era
Gap Body scents....Dream was definitely their top seller...I think in lotion form. But there was also Heaven for the slight nonconformists, and Om had a short heydey in the older-than-middle school crowd. Mmmm. They were yummy.
Butterfly clips...Those were big like whoa. They broke so much though, and didn't hold hair well. I suppose they were mostly supposed to be ornamental.
American Girls...I have Kirstin, of course. And I never took her hair our of the gorgeous braid things because I was too enamored with the sleekness. Judging from the looks of other peoples' 10 year-old American Girl dolls' hair, I was better off leaving it. I really think that what American Girl doll you had slash wanted is quite telling too.
Mini Sephora perfumes...I gave and received those for so many birthdays. And the names were all in french so often it was a fairly normal scent like caramel or strawberry that just had an exotic sounding name. I still have some, but after years of keeping them in a cupboard they kind of all smell the same.
Beanie babies...Lines around the block for those. Enough said. I still have the "special" Princess Di one thanks to the other Stephen and his familia.
Gellie Rolls and Milky pens...Is that how they were spelled? Those pens resulted in countless hours of carefully crafted hand art, much to the displeasure of 6th grade teachers. But they would always stop working every now and then and girls would proceed to alternately shake the shit out of them and huff into them in order to make them write on skin again.
Bubble tea...Yes, its still a huge and enjoyable fad. I appreciated it more when it was a novelty though. The very very bestest flavor ever is the Pink Lady at WOW Bubble Tea on the Ave. Azns+enormo flatscreens+Christian choruses, anyone? Olive, KK and I used to laugh endlessly at that. And then we would go into the quad and spit the our leftover tapioca bubbles in the general direction of unfortunate strangers.
Dicks...Still a winner in my book.
J Crew flip flops...High school girl must-have. Plus very popular among preppy boys.
Bib overalls...All the rage among 5th grade girls. We were soooo rad.
Jellies...Also popularized by Gap. Gap kids, mainly. Recently has made it back into the mainstream now that all the 2nd graders that wore them are now in their twenties and having early adult life nostalgia crises.
Otis Spunkmeyer cookies...Again, I think my spelling has gone awry. And they qualify as a fad, more of a religion really. But most people I know haven't had them since middle school since that was the one place that they were readily available.
The Spice Girls...I always had to be Scary, which was ridiculously annoying. I do have an amazing studded camo miniskirt and a knack for putting my hair up into cone-shapes as a result though.
Fads are often annoying. But let's be honest, they are fucking fun more often than not. And very unifying...until you get to the my Abercrombie skank-top is better than your American Eagle graphic tee age.
Butterfly clips...Those were big like whoa. They broke so much though, and didn't hold hair well. I suppose they were mostly supposed to be ornamental.
American Girls...I have Kirstin, of course. And I never took her hair our of the gorgeous braid things because I was too enamored with the sleekness. Judging from the looks of other peoples' 10 year-old American Girl dolls' hair, I was better off leaving it. I really think that what American Girl doll you had slash wanted is quite telling too.
Mini Sephora perfumes...I gave and received those for so many birthdays. And the names were all in french so often it was a fairly normal scent like caramel or strawberry that just had an exotic sounding name. I still have some, but after years of keeping them in a cupboard they kind of all smell the same.
Beanie babies...Lines around the block for those. Enough said. I still have the "special" Princess Di one thanks to the other Stephen and his familia.
Gellie Rolls and Milky pens...Is that how they were spelled? Those pens resulted in countless hours of carefully crafted hand art, much to the displeasure of 6th grade teachers. But they would always stop working every now and then and girls would proceed to alternately shake the shit out of them and huff into them in order to make them write on skin again.
Bubble tea...Yes, its still a huge and enjoyable fad. I appreciated it more when it was a novelty though. The very very bestest flavor ever is the Pink Lady at WOW Bubble Tea on the Ave. Azns+enormo flatscreens+Christian choruses, anyone? Olive, KK and I used to laugh endlessly at that. And then we would go into the quad and spit the our leftover tapioca bubbles in the general direction of unfortunate strangers.
Dicks...Still a winner in my book.
J Crew flip flops...High school girl must-have. Plus very popular among preppy boys.
Bib overalls...All the rage among 5th grade girls. We were soooo rad.
Jellies...Also popularized by Gap. Gap kids, mainly. Recently has made it back into the mainstream now that all the 2nd graders that wore them are now in their twenties and having early adult life nostalgia crises.
Otis Spunkmeyer cookies...Again, I think my spelling has gone awry. And they qualify as a fad, more of a religion really. But most people I know haven't had them since middle school since that was the one place that they were readily available.
The Spice Girls...I always had to be Scary, which was ridiculously annoying. I do have an amazing studded camo miniskirt and a knack for putting my hair up into cone-shapes as a result though.
Fads are often annoying. But let's be honest, they are fucking fun more often than not. And very unifying...until you get to the my Abercrombie skank-top is better than your American Eagle graphic tee age.
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