You know those movies that you think are great slash really want to see, and you rep them to everyone and your sister....and then you sit down and watch it with your sister/mother/FATHER and all of a sudden you realize that what was seemingly harmless before now looks like incestuous porn? Its a terrible experience that everyone should avoid. Trying to look bored and unamused for your family while watching two actors raucously getting it on is not an easy feat. I am pretty sure I generally miss the mark and end up doing a constipated Chris Matthews impression instead.
Anyway, be forewarned that seeing the following with your parental unit et al may or may not be a moderate debacle (if you are as awk as me)....
- We Own the Night...trust me, Eva Mendez getting herself off is NOT HOT when you're with your dad. .
- Up in the Air...slightly blushworthy
- Borat...not a good idea
- Bruno...Enough said. I would rather be smacked in the face with his junk than have to watch it fly around the screen while sitting next to my parents.
- One episode of the Tudors...if you saw it, you know the one
In other news, I thought I would be less of a hot mess if I got away from law school for awhile, but so far its an epic fail. Yesterday I spilled evaporated milk all over my fuggs. Today I spilled whole milk all over my fuggs (and the entire floor). I am also pretty sure that I broke my toe. A bird spit red berry goo into my sweatshirt hood. My sister projectile vomited all over my blanket. I dumped my coffee on the carpet. Roo went buckwild and razed my pointer finger. And I have a inexplicable bruise on my leg that is the size of a small orange. I mean, wtfuck! Can't I catch a break? ...Cobra Starship, take me away...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
How to Make JD = Just Dollaz
F and I are going to write a book called He May Or May Not Be Into You: A Girl's Guide to Law School Dating. And yes it will be based on our moderately f-ed up and for serially dramatic real-life misadventures.
Basically, we are going to make bank.
Also:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=law%20school%20goggles *
*This link is in no way a commentary on me slash my friends. Only other people. You know who you are...
Basically, we are going to make bank.
Also:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=law%20school%20goggles *
*This link is in no way a commentary on me slash my friends. Only other people. You know who you are...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
You Might Be From Bmore If...
[From the You Call it Ghetto...I Call it Resourceful Fbook Group]
"lose ur remote a lot.....put that shit on a leash and attach it to the end of yo couch"
"I had like 1 damn dollar on my way to school, hadnt had breakfast or anything. i was hungry but oh so broke, so I came up with the 1 dollar program. works everytime.
1) a peppermint for 10 cents which i would crush and eat sliver by sliver (gotta make things last, ya know)
2)a 50 cent soda (the biggest one they had) and i would make it last the whole day by keeping itoutside the window, nice and cold
3) with the remaining 40 cents, I would get a bag of chips or those sketchy little oatmeal cookies that come 3 in a pack. and then three pieces of 5 cent gum. or I would bet the change in some stupid card game that was going on during class and hope for the best, Loll."
"I'm hungry, and there's really no food at home. I have bread though but no butter or jam. I do have ketchup tho as well as polly-o string cheese. So i peel up the polly-o string cheese, sprinkle it over the slice of bread, then spread ketchup over it as evenly as possible, place it in the toaster oven on 375F for 5-10 minutes and just like that, i have ghetto pizza. "
"so today i went 2 starbucks..idk why cuz i had no money. i saw that at the lil station wit napkins n stuff there was milk for ur coffee n vanilla, chocolate, n cinnamon powder for ur w/e else..so i asked the lady for a cup and went 2 work in the lab (that counter)..free drink"
"the dollar menu is my def of resourceful, four people get a meal on 4 bucks.
two double cheese burgers w/ some white bread & u got four single-patty burgers
get a $1 sweet tea & three cups of "courtsey water" & split the 32 ounce
dollar fries & ask them to drop some in the bottom of the bag
shoot, that last dollar goes to dessert, two apple pies in half...lol, everyones happy"
"lose ur remote a lot.....put that shit on a leash and attach it to the end of yo couch"
"I had like 1 damn dollar on my way to school, hadnt had breakfast or anything. i was hungry but oh so broke, so I came up with the 1 dollar program. works everytime.
1) a peppermint for 10 cents which i would crush and eat sliver by sliver (gotta make things last, ya know)
2)a 50 cent soda (the biggest one they had) and i would make it last the whole day by keeping itoutside the window, nice and cold
3) with the remaining 40 cents, I would get a bag of chips or those sketchy little oatmeal cookies that come 3 in a pack. and then three pieces of 5 cent gum. or I would bet the change in some stupid card game that was going on during class and hope for the best, Loll."
"I'm hungry, and there's really no food at home. I have bread though but no butter or jam. I do have ketchup tho as well as polly-o string cheese. So i peel up the polly-o string cheese, sprinkle it over the slice of bread, then spread ketchup over it as evenly as possible, place it in the toaster oven on 375F for 5-10 minutes and just like that, i have ghetto pizza. "
"so today i went 2 starbucks..idk why cuz i had no money. i saw that at the lil station wit napkins n stuff there was milk for ur coffee n vanilla, chocolate, n cinnamon powder for ur w/e else..so i asked the lady for a cup and went 2 work in the lab (that counter)..free drink"
"the dollar menu is my def of resourceful, four people get a meal on 4 bucks.
two double cheese burgers w/ some white bread & u got four single-patty burgers
get a $1 sweet tea & three cups of "courtsey water" & split the 32 ounce
dollar fries & ask them to drop some in the bottom of the bag
shoot, that last dollar goes to dessert, two apple pies in half...lol, everyones happy"
Top Fives
Top 5 Foods:
Barbecued Ribs
Stuffed spinach Chicago-style pizza
Mexican rice with sour cream
Olives and olive-y mushrooms and capers
The sandwich
Top 5 Movie Characters That Remind Me of Me:
Gigi - He's Just Not That Into You
Julie - Julie and Julia..."Just for once could you not look on the bright side?"
Jane (Katherine Heigl) - 27 Dresses
Amelie - Amelie
Emma - Emma
Top 5 Movie Characters That I Wish Reminded Me of Me:
Viola (Amanda Bynes) - She's the Man
Julia Child - Julie and Julia
Bones - Bones (its a show, but its as good as a movie, so pshaw)
Mulan - Mulan
Elizabeth - Pride and Prejudice
Top 5 Terribles:
Feeling jealous (doubly as bad when there is reason for you to feel that way)
Mispelling words and getting caught
Feeling so hungry you feel nauseated
Your face getting rounder
Being sweaty when you're cold (shout out to SLL)
Top 5 Smells:
Popcorn
Bacon
Aqua du Gio cologne
Anise Anise perfume
Chocolate chip cookies baking
Top 5 Songs ATM:
Concerning Hobbits - Lord of the Rings
1981 - The Tough Alliance
Replay - Iyaz
All the Above - Maino
Keep On Trying - Poco
Barbecued Ribs
Stuffed spinach Chicago-style pizza
Mexican rice with sour cream
Olives and olive-y mushrooms and capers
The sandwich
Top 5 Movie Characters That Remind Me of Me:
Gigi - He's Just Not That Into You
Julie - Julie and Julia..."Just for once could you not look on the bright side?"
Jane (Katherine Heigl) - 27 Dresses
Amelie - Amelie
Emma - Emma
Top 5 Movie Characters That I Wish Reminded Me of Me:
Viola (Amanda Bynes) - She's the Man
Julia Child - Julie and Julia
Bones - Bones (its a show, but its as good as a movie, so pshaw)
Mulan - Mulan
Elizabeth - Pride and Prejudice
Top 5 Terribles:
Feeling jealous (doubly as bad when there is reason for you to feel that way)
Mispelling words and getting caught
Feeling so hungry you feel nauseated
Your face getting rounder
Being sweaty when you're cold (shout out to SLL)
Top 5 Smells:
Popcorn
Bacon
Aqua du Gio cologne
Anise Anise perfume
Chocolate chip cookies baking
Top 5 Songs ATM:
Concerning Hobbits - Lord of the Rings
1981 - The Tough Alliance
Replay - Iyaz
All the Above - Maino
Keep On Trying - Poco
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Contracts, ILY
Dear Stanford,
Hire my prof. He is baller.
Thx,
me
PS- He's not the reason I flunked.
Asimow:
"Okay, so this guy is a nut, but it's his egg farm."
"Well, what you're buying is . . . essentially horse semen . . . but, no I don't think that the UCC applies here."
"Its too bad if you feel like a hound dog that has eaten a rotten skunk."
"If you want to fight the union, fight the union, but it doesn't let you off the hook to your k."
"Let's add on 10 million dollars because you're a bastard."
(On UCC 2-207) "Thank you for your offer. It is rejected!"
" Experts are in very bad disgrace in the law, because they are for sale. They are prostitutes."
"You can't handle the bottom line!"
"Breaches come in all shapes and sizes."
Hire my prof. He is baller.
Thx,
me
PS- He's not the reason I flunked.
Asimow:
"Okay, so this guy is a nut, but it's his egg farm."
"Well, what you're buying is . . . essentially horse semen . . . but, no I don't think that the UCC applies here."
"Its too bad if you feel like a hound dog that has eaten a rotten skunk."
"If you want to fight the union, fight the union, but it doesn't let you off the hook to your k."
"Let's add on 10 million dollars because you're a bastard."
(On UCC 2-207) "Thank you for your offer. It is rejected!"
" Experts are in very bad disgrace in the law, because they are for sale. They are prostitutes."
"You can't handle the bottom line!"
"Breaches come in all shapes and sizes."
Someone is trying to poison me...
Clearly they have realized that I am the biggest threat in our class and they want to steal my H.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
More mistakes
Apparently I am just terrible. Just terrible. I always take people for granted who turn out to be amazing, and often invest too much time in people who turn out to be mediocre. This is not to say that the mediocre people suck....just that it would be excellent if I would start to realize how cool the people are that are staring me in the face in the first place.
Story of my life.
Literally. Take Stephan for example. Where was he junior year? Fuck if I know. The first time that he exploded into my consciousness was when we got crunk and buried treasure in the quad. Before that he was definitely around....just in a way less obvious way. And we eventually did get to be good friends, but I wish that I hadn't wasted so much time.
And time wasting is for sure what I am doing once again. One big problem is that I think that the coolest people are the most elusive people. Not true. What kind of epiphany is it going to take me to realize that the people that are most enjoyable are not the hard-to-get ones, they're the ones who accept you in the beginning, connect with you and want to hang out with you. The truly amazing people are the ones who choose YOU. I know this, but in real time it is very hard for me to realize this. But its true. And I can name two hands worth of people who I have overlooked or undervalued or just not noticed....and I bet $200 that these ones will end up being my all-time favorites within the next three years.
I feel much, much better.
Also, I need to recognize that people thinking that I am second best does not mean that I can automatically pretend that they are not on my radar. They will get offended and I will get a bad reputation. I need to step up and not be such an emo kid.
Hearts.
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