Conundrums

1) I haven't been able to sleep lately. What's up with that? I love sleep. I relish falling asleep at night usually because I love the pre-sleep reading/music-listening/daydreaming routine. But I have been doing this thing where I have to refluff my pillows and switch them out and replace my head on the pillow repeatedly to the point where I become a ball of stress and not sleepy at all. Very OCD. I should probably have someone check me out.

2) Speaking of being checked out, two people at work today told me I was too skinny. But my sister and the bathroom scale have been insinuating that I am gaining weight in a not-so-good way. Who do I listen to??? I actually will not really listen to any of them...they all cancel each other out so I will consider the issue dunzo and do nothing. But it goes to show that you can't please everyone.

3) I think I have pinpointed my main issue with guys. I have never consciously looked for certain characteristics in guys as any sort of litmus test. But I have determined that subconsciously I am drawn to guys who make me laugh....above any other quality. Therein lies the problem. Generally the people that can make me laugh the most are the people that can catch me off guard and tease me....which also requires a certain lack of sensitivity. People who care too much about preserving the feelings of others are just not as funny. And so this leads me to boys that entertain me greatly, but at best have the said lack of sensitivity and at worst don't give a shit about my feelings at all.

Still, I will have to find a ways to reconcile the need for hilarity and the need for regard for my feelings. Because those are both necessary guy qualities. My father thinks that the former is not as necessary...hence his failure to understand why I am unwilling to consider a certain guy that I work with, PC, as boyfriend material. This is a boy that I like as a friend, he spent two years in Lesotho in the peace corps and he is intelligent and fun to talk to and he walks me home from work since he lives near me...all of these admirable qualities. BUT, he doesn't make me laugh that much, and he especially doesn't make me laugh at myself. Pshaw. The silly thing is that my father should understand this instead of thinking I am being a ditsy little girl because he is the one always cracking jokes in our family and making fun of me and "modeling" what I should be looking for in a guy. Hmmm, that last sentence bordered on Freudian thinking which I don't really support, but you get the point.

4) I love the feeling of irritated gums, but I am scared of gum recession. Specifically, I enjoy flossing overly aggressively to make my gums tingly, but I know that brushing and flossing too hard can spur gum recession. What do I do?

5) I am so dumb. But embarrassing myself is so much more interesting than keeping my mouth shut. Should I at least attempt to restrain myself from being so annoying and ridiculous?




During a game of hangman:
"I think that the word must be Magazine."
-Me
"But we already used up the S."
-Boy at work